*cuddles Mark* I hope it is finally sorted. Seems things are picking up a bit in all our lives lately compared to the past few months. I hope everything stays sorted out for all of us.

*runs through the ward hugging everyone*
*forces self to finish bowl of cereal and runs down to the front desk*
I'll hop back in after I get back up here to my desk.

*Spots a Helen and Hugs*

*Hugs Crimson*

Getting so slow in here lately... How is everyone today?

M and J n L are gonna be gone by the end of the weekend if all goes as planned :) now I just need to relearn how to cook for half the people I have been cooking for to save my fridge from a horrific amount of leftovers.

I am so tired today... I spent the last few days finishing off G's school with her so she got done on time (my fault for procrastinating the whole school year) and she finished her last class last night at midnight. Then I had to take a bath since I was covered in oil pastels, tempra paint and water color paints (not to mention the different kinds of paper and glue)... art was her last class obviously.so I didn't get to bed till 1ish after I set up my stuff for today to bring to work and writing the rent check. Then up at 620 to get ready and drop off the rent then to work. Might nap later but maybe not. If I don't nap maybe I'll be able to go to bed at a "reasonable" time. *shrugs n goes off to file stuff*

OOh I bet you are looking forward to a quieter household Cromson:) I hope you sleep well an re-learn your cooking for a lesser amount of people , I bet you're pleased to have a less hectic place to live soon :)

Where IS everyone?? :-/

Well, I found out today that the girl from my work that lives down the road from us (who also has the exact same anniversary!!) is selling a cello for maximum $500!!!!! I am so stoked... she told me that it has my name on it, I got to see it today and tune it, it's so beautiful........... I've wanted a cello for soo long and I've bugged and bothered Jarrod about it for forever... so she's going to research it to see how much it's worth now, and if she sells it for more than $500 I can pay her back in piano lessons (since I teach piano/violin/viola). EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *bounces ecstatically* I am SO EXCITED. This is perfect. :D

Sorry for the SQUEE there... lol... it's just that this is better than what I could've hoped for. Ever. :D

*cuddles everyone then bounces off into a corner, mumbling, "Cello, cello, I might get a cello!!"*

Phew. I'm on at last. bit of catching up to do, so some of theses responses might seem a bit late, but it's all since I was last on..... here goes.


Mark: Can I have some of your ability to sleep? I'm so tired but i just can't switch off *huggles* I hope your body manages to sort itself out soon. no experience of medication i'm afraid, so I can't answer that one. *cuddles* just because I wish i could do more *cuddles again* glad the energy bill thing seems to be sorted out.


Jill: You can be clingy all you want *cuddles gently* i'm sorry i'm not here for you more. I wish there were better things I could say to help, but please try not to cut. cuddle not cut *cuddles gently more*


Kahlia: Finding life is a series of hoops to jump through right now, with the police, GP, the CPN, the crisis team twice, and child services, Im just about sick of explaining my life history to people. I just hope something comes of all this, because i'm so drained. I will tell Rosie later, I'm sure she'll be thrilled. *cuddles you because you are cold*


april: *cuddles* I feel like i can't be there all the time for everybody too, and it feels ****. *cuddles tight* something would be good, i think. Sorry I missed your birthday *special cuddles*. I'm glad you had a good time, your ring sounds great, i'm gonna look that passage up in a sec :) and don't worry about wearing mens sizes, I do too sometimes, and I had to have my engagement ring resized up four times in 3 years.


Helen: I can't remember fully, but I think the recommendations for that kind of situation is to assume use of other protection for a week I think. I can check if you want. *cuddles* cuddle not cut. my new motto, made it a week so far :) Sleep tight. - You're intitled to a whingefest, don't apologise. Sounds like you had a rough time *hugs* I hope your back/legs/feet have recovered!


heather: I'll tell rosie!

Ileana *cuddles* sorry hun I don't know your name, but I'm Kat *waves hello*


Jackie: *cuddles* Hi, I'm kat

Lindsay: A princes trust course? wow. I read about those somewhere, and was thinnking about it but can't remember anything about it now.


Amy: Hi, How are you?


Crimson: I'm really glad to read your happy message about moving, i'll be praying for you that it all goes well. *hugs*


J.Greens: Sorry, can't help, don't quite know what you're asking, I can't focus. But seeing your Dr isn't 'bothering' them love.


JK: *cuddles* I hope things improve for you soon, well done on having a shot at individual replies in your state!


Laura: *hugs* I end up doing that too, especially if there is someone about who I can't get too absorbed in writing on RYL infront of.


Julie: *cuddles* I feel like hiding in a box to eat too, but only because I want to binge and shouldn't.


Hayley: *huggles* Great progress hun, so proud of you


Kathryn: *waves back*Hi sweetie. DBT? sorry brainfry so can't figure that one.


okay page 1366...I can't absorb any more, so sorry guys that's it for individual replies. Love you all!
If I missed you. Sorry, and lots of love and safe cuddles, but I need to breathe and eat now.

Defintely looking forward to the quiet. J and L were out last night and it was so quiet and peaceful. M only bothered Gen about going to bed (while she was doing her work) once instead of the other 2 days she was up late where I had to argue with both M and J to leave her (and I) alone so she could get finished. It was so nice to be able to just say something once and not have to argue and waste time for a half hour... lol

*Bounces around with April* That is awesome! I love cellos :)
I have no idea where everyone is though... well except Hayley... and me of course...

Thats ace News About the cello April!! *Bounces* I've been here / WoW this evening , So low been napping all day away , Harmed once but not seriously , what is serious though is all the thoughts are telling me S.I. / Sui things that I don't know how to cope with , I actually feel like I need to cry (un-macho) but I can't , I hate myself , sorry

I spot a Crimson and a Kat *Huggles*

*huggles mark back*

How are you Kat?

EDIT: I can't cope with my head thinking bad thoughts ,I SO want to act on them I'm, going to bed , PLEASE be better tomorrow , Please .:S

tired and stressed out. Hazel is sleeping really badly again after two great nights. Shame is I could do with a good night as i've had a rough few days, especially today :S

How are you?

*huggles Mark* I'm sorry the urges are so bad today.

*hugs Kat* maybe tonight she'll sleep okay for you. *hands a cup of tea*

*huggles crimson* thanks for the tea, havn't had one all day.

updated rv if anyone's interested, which i guess they're probably not, not even bothered that i took over an hour to read through tons of posts and write a massive set of individual replies. well **** it. what's the point?! go way go way gowagy!! kat want us to goway cos of you and meil and me hurt and you horrid hurt us by hurtin daddy jack and me wish shed lock you up like shadow cos you make me cry and baby and babys not done anythin worng. look you messeds up mmy writngs that me so prounbd off!

*hugs/waves at everyone*

Sorry I'm not good with individual replies at the moment but I just have to do a couple that really stand out:

Mark: I really hope that is the end of the E-on crisis. I'm hoping that's the "end of the road" with them for you hun. It does sound hopeful that it is. The SI/su stuff does not sound so good and I wish I could offer you something. I hope you are feeling better. :-( *huggles you tightly*

Kat: Wow, that was an amazing post/reply (pg 1366). You made it through an immense number of posts to make that. Thanks very much, by the way, for helping me keep warm. I'm sorry Hazel has been having some bad nights, and also that you have been having some bad times. Is there anything we can do to help?

Very tired today, but basically because I didn't sleep much the night before. And just a bit over things. I wanted to do work on my assessment yesterday but was unable to because a friend came over and didn't want to leave. *sigh* C'est la vie.

gives kat a big bear hug. i care hunni, sorry your having a rough time right now, you are helping hunni, so is everyone else just speaking on here with people that really care and dont think a mad nutter really helps. even if i dont always say whats bothering me. if that makes sence.

*hugs Mark* thanks :) sorry to hear you're struggling so much, hope you feel better in the morning

*hugs Kahlia back* thanks, I really hope it all goes smoothly, hope you sleep better tonight and aren't so tired

*hugs Kat* sorry it's tough, hope Hazel sleeps okay

*hugs Crimson* hope you enjoy the quiet

*hugs Julie* how are you?

*cuddles April* wow you do sound talented, I hope you get the cello. I play the violin, well not so much recently, I love it even though I'm not very good.

*hugs KitKat* I hope you manage to sort out the enrollment, you're not a wimp.

*hugs Helen* how are you? have you heard from the interview

*hugs Hayley* hope you're doing okay, how's things going?

*hugs shadowedsoul**hugs razey**hugs Heather**hugs Oliver**hugs Lindsay**hugs Nicole**hugs JK**hugs Laura**hugs everyone else I've missed out (sorry)*

right Friday tomorrow - yay - and another weekend with no internet access. Hope you have a good weekend guys, leaving cuddles in abundance and some blueberry pancakes, good night

Trying to do as many individual replies as possible. Really don't mean to leave anybody out. <333 If I did, pm me and I'll make sure I give you a good reply :)

*hugs Mark* here's hoping you have a better day tomorrow <3

*hugs April* You look beautiful in your birthday pictures :) I don't know any good advice to give you :( But trust me, you are so NOT a selfish bitch <33 You're a wonderful person. I wish I could show you how amazing you are, let you see it for yourself :) We are blessed to have you on here. I hope you're taking care of yourself <3 How did calling the res go?

*hugs Hels* Sounds like your friends were being really rude/ignorant at the concert, but I'm glad you had fun anyway :) Maybe I missed a recent post, my mind is kind of foggy at the moment, but how was the interview?

*hugs Crimson* How are you?

*hugs Hannah* Sometimes being away from the internet can be a good thing :) Enjoy your weekend!

*hugs Kat/Rosie/Sarah, if hugs are wanted* Sarah - that was an incredible post on the previous page, I'm impressed you (Kat included? sorry, not sure how to word this ><) had the patience to type that all out. Rosie - Don't worry hun, I still think your spelling is pretty good :) Kat - I hope Hazel starts sleeping well again for you soon <3 Sorry to hear you've had a few bad days.

*hugs shadowedsoul (Jill??)* Damn brain fog, making me forget stuff I should know. Are you Jill? Tell me if I'm wrong, I know I should remember this >< I hope you're doing alright <33 Or staying safe at least

*hugs Kahlia* Did you try giving your friend hints to leave? Drives me crazy when people don't pick up on those... *offers motivational cookie* To motivate you to work on that assessment today :) or tomorrow.

*hugs Kathryn* Let us know how the DBT works out. I've never even heard of it before =/ Can anybody fill me in on what it's for, or what it's supposed to accomplish?

*hugs Hayley, J. Greens, Julie, Heather, JK, Lindsay, Laura, Amy, Oliver, Nicole* I hope you're all staying safe and taking care of yourselves <333

*hugs Ileana & Jackie* If I forgot to introduce myself earlier, HI! I'm Taz. :) If I did introduce myself... allow me to perform a face palm out of stupidity :)

Phew, that took a while. To whoever had asked a few pages back, yes - I have a counselor that I see weekly to talk to. I think he's getting annoyed of me though :( I'll probably go update my r/v after posting this, I don't want to spam Vet's corner.

Thinking of you all! <3 *leaves extra special hugs out for anybody who needs them*

*huggles/waves at everyone*

Just dropped in quickly to say ... Only 2 more bits and my assessment is complete!!

Taz - Thanks! Yeah I told her I needed to work on the assessment and would love some peace and quiet to do so. And asked her when she had to leave. And various other things like that. She just didn't get the hint lol. *hugs*

*glomps Jill* - How are you doing sweetie?

*hugs Hannah* Thanks hun. I slept so much better last night. :-)

*leaves behind a hugs box of hugs and safe love and care packages for all*

*wants hug*
am exhausted but cant sleep
and am hungry... how on earth is that bloody possible when so huge >.>

*hugs Heather* - I hope you have managed to get some sleep by now. And hunger is a weird thing.

Only one item left to go on the assessment ... Should be able to submit it today.

:) good luck finishing asessment :)

how're you doin?

*sigh* cantsleep

Hugs kahlia, hmm I'm doing okish got some really stuiped
thoughts going through my head it's getting really hard
not to act on them. I can't do this much more, I want to
die but iam also scared of dying if that makes any sence.

Hugs taz, I'm safe or trying to be. How are you doing?
Hugs heather, hope you are doing okay, and mange to
sleep. huggles.

Heather: Got totally distracted and started working on the second subject. I've started the assessment for it and only have 3 questions to go on it lol. Should be able to have them both in this weekend, which will be good. *huggles* Really sorry you can't sleep. *touches you with the sleep stick*

Jily: *hugs* Yeah hun, that does make sense, although I'm sorry that you're feeling that way. I guess the "being scared of dying" is kind of a protective factor. I wish I could make those dangerous thoughts go away.

Feeling drained and tired and bleh. I went downstairs to hang the towels on the line before and when I walked into the storage area where the majority of our washing lines are I was met with the sight of two of our washing lines having pulled away from the wall and my clean clothes all over the floor ... and they were still wet. :-( At the moment we only have two lines so I could only hang some of my washing back up. *sigh* Just a bit over it at the moment.

I'm just going to leave some *hugs* and *safe love and care packages* for everyone on the table ... If anyone wants a stuffed animals there's still plenty there as well. :-)

curls up too

how you Owen, haven't seen you for a while. Nice to sit next to ya

long weekend maybe you can chill out a bit hey.

i'm working tomorrow i start at 7 am :notsure:

Hey Julie, work is good. Sleep is good! Nice to have you back :)

Hi Waves at JK and Owen and Julie . How are you all tonight ?
I'm tired this morning, , my family will be here soon for a little while, maybe I'll feel better then , I just feel like I have to put on "That" Mask :(

Oh and Rosie I still think your writtings pretty good :)

hey Mark, I miss everyone here and I'm trying to work on a huge response to you all, but now I taken meds and drunk too much so likely to be tomorrow now :( The mask sucks,but is a necessity in our real life existence

xx

*crawls into my box holding a spoon* i shouldnt eat this :crying:

can i come in? *shaz walks in slowly and hides in a corner*

night night i have work at 7 am so much try sleep:notsure: :notsure: :yawn: :yawn: :snoozle: :snoozle: :snoozle: :snoozle: :snoozle:

*waves* Hey Shaz :)

I hope you sleep well JK :)

*Spots an April and jumpsonher! *

Shaz, of course you can come in!! :) *hugs if that's okay?* I'm April, btw. :)

Kat, what a wonderful set of responses that was!!! A tremendous effort... I am not that good, or that diligent, to reply to that many people - very frequently anyway. It can get overwhelming in here. *cuddles* How are you doing? Hopefully Hazel sleeps better tonight... :)

Mark, how are you doing? I'm sorry that you have to put on "that" mask... I know what you're talking about... :( *cuddles tight*

Hels, how are you? and Oliver? You've both been very quiet the past day or so. :) Well, Oliver for longer than that... we miss you!!! :)

Taz, well done on the replies as well... update us on how you're doing when you can, or let us know when you've updated your r/v thread (unless you did already & I just missed it :-S). *cuddles* Things will be okay. Thanks so much for your support of everyone on the board when you're struggling yourself - the same goes for everyone here!! I think we have a pretty awesome bunch of people here. :)

G'night Julie!! *tucks you up in your ward bed* :)

JK, we miss you too. Hopefully you sleep well... any plans for the weekend?? (and I really need to respond to your PM, sorry I haven't yet!!)

Laura, I hope that you're doing a bit better back at your uni. :( I just wish that things could be better for you at your parents' place... *cuddles gently*

Kahlia, well done on getting so much completed!! I am impressed. :D Concentration can be difficult so I am proud of you. Yey. :) *cuddles*

*cuddles everyone else I've missed & who wants them*

Soo... I got my cello!!!!! *bounces around the ward* It's so freaking beautiful... and I can actually kinda sorta play it - it's so effing huge compared to my violin and viola, haha, can't wait to get a string bass and see what THAT feels like... lol. Anyway. I'll settle for a cello for awhile now. It's been a few years since I've purchased an instrument (read: about 6 years), so yeah. Woohoo!! I could go on about it forever but I'll spare you... :P

My bestie and I went shopping last night, went to the mall and I got quite a bit at different shops there. A cute Sanrio tshirt that has a panda on the front and on the back it says "Don't be a sad panda," an Alice in Wonderland tshirt that has the Red Queen on it and says "Off with her head" (I have yet to see the movie though!! we're going to rent it today I think), some awesome shoes :P (I am totally a sucker for shoes...), and some other stuff, including books (of course). Woohoo. Yey for birthday presents. :P

I'm so tired... :( got up at 6:40am but went to bed around 10:30pm so didn't get a lot of sleep. I have a feeling I'll be taking a nap later... hah. :-/

Have a dentist appt in an hour. :-S For replacing another filling. It's going to hurt.... :'(

How is everyone else doing??

*bounces some more* :P

There is something Wrong with my BT ( British Telecom ) bill now, my Dad has taken it away and will try to fix which I appreciate , but it's like I'm 29 an I should know how to solve these problems myself, I'm pathetic.
I'm meeting Hannah L in an hour and a half , I LOVE spending time with her, we have similar issues so I don't have to put up a facade so much. I've been really low the last few days , I have ruined my life cut by cut.:(

ooohh April I just missed you on facebook , I replied just as you logged out :S sorry

*cuddles everyone*

To those who've asked, my interview went okay, I hadn't made a post about it. Just waiting to hear back from them.

*hugs/waves at all*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies, I'm just quickly jumping on to read about you all before I head off to bed. I'm extremely tired. I've submitted one assessment. It'll take about a week to hear back but I've followed the Marking Criteria so it shouldn't be an issue. Only got a couple more things to do on the assessment for the other subject. Am hoping to get that one submitted by Monday. I won't be upset if I don't - especially as my mother's birthday is on Sunday and I don't know what my siblings have planned. I'm really hoping that they aren't going to have something out there (all of the rest of my family live 30 minutes out of town and with no car its a nightmare).

Anyway I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who is giving me encouragement in relation to my studies. The first six "Stages" of this course should be fairly easy. I could have RPL'd through them but organising the RPL paperwork and interview etc is more difficult and time-consuming than just doing the work. And you never know what you can learn in those easy subjects.

*leaves *big hugs* and *care packages* for everyone*

*sneaks in and hides under the table in a plastic cratefull of pillows/duvets*

Need to work out what went on in here last night. I got a bit annoyied at sarah and miel when I was writing my RV, and she got all stroppy and came here, and then rosie was upset and crying and..I dunno.. I fell asleep...the hazel gave me a really rough night :S :( I need space. I need time without her to sleep properly.

me hapy my writting better thankssyou everyone me feel a bit betters now.. and daddy jack hekped me feel safe

*drools at the picture* Not at me... I... well, I won't say anything self-degrading, but the cello is beeeeeeeeautiful. *is still partially on cloud 9* Hehe... just thought I'd share, though. Hopefully no one minds? :-S

The cello is beautiful April. And so is the person holding it :) Enjoy it :) *hugs*

Mark~ Sorry to hear about your bill going wonky just when the other is straightened. It's great that you have someone willing and able to help you with it though. *hugs*

Sorry everyone... that's all for replies right now. I got Gen's stuff taken to her school and her teacher was happy with it all. Then made dinner. Then got sent to the store. Then had to do my evening routine. I got to bed at 2 AM, woke up at 330ish, 403, 5ish, 550, then when my alarm went off at 620 I just wanted to crawl back in bed. A woke up after I got up for work and asked where I was going and said she didn't want me to go and cried (she's a daddy's girl unless she's sick... then it's i want my mommy...) I'm exhausted... TGIF

*hugs Julie & offers teddy to Owen* Hope work goes well for you!

*hugs JK* I know the feeling of wearing the mask. Definitely sucks, but sometimes it's easier? Maybe that's just me. But I hope you're doing alright <3

*hugs Mark* How did it go having your family over? I wouldn't know how to go about getting my bills fixed up either, so I wouldn't worry too much if I were you :) Sorry to hear you've been so low <3 Hopefully you start feeling a bit better.

*tackles Shaz* Hi :) I'm Taz. Taz and Shaz... this could get confusing! How are you doing?

*hugs April* Thanks :) I updated my r/v last night, but was really foggy, so I'm not even sure if it makes sense, or flows at all... the cello looks amazing, although not nearly as good as the person playing it :) did you post pictures in another thread will all your purchases? I want to see this panda shirt :D

*hugs Kahlia* well done on completing the first assessment! Have you talked to your siblings to make arrangements? Might be easier than waiting around for them to spring something on you!

*crawls around under multiple tables to find Kat & hug her* Must be a major pain in the ass to have Hazel annoying your sleep schedule :( Any idea what caused the commotion last night with Sarah and Miel?

*hugs Crimson* Ahhh damn :( Waking up randomly like that really sucks. Hope you rest up over the weekend <3

I'm doing alright today I suppose. Not bad, not great, just floating in the middle. It's kind of nice. Was a real bitch to my dad last night though, and immediately felt horrible right after he left, so I ended up SI'ing again. And he keeps checking my arms, saying it's because he's worried, which makes me feel awful, and I usually SI because of that. Argh. It's a never-ending cycle. I just want him to not make me feel like crap about it. I don't think he understands the whole addiction side to it... whatever. I'm not about to let it ruin my day again. I'm going out of town with him & my sister for the weekend, going to an amusement park that we visit every summer. I'm pretty pumped to have some time just me and my sister too.

*leaves extra hugs in the middle of the room*

April *Hugs* That Cello looks impresive , am happy you're so Pleased with it :D How did your Dentists go?

*Hugs Taz* Hmm thats a visious cirsle with your father checking your arms , could you just expain to him how it doesn't help , easier said than done I know:S

*Crimson Huggle* I hope you have a nice , peaceful weekend.

*Kat Hugs*I'm sorry you have many things stressing you , I hope you sleep well tonight :) * Hugs Rosie*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Cuddles Helen*

Sorry I haven't been around so much. I've started a course with the Prince's Trust and i'm there from 10am to 3.45pm. I've also been having some computer problems.