I wasn't looking for advice. I'm making sure I have three meals, one of which is a home-cooked meal, each day, cutting down on chocolate and am getting into the swing of excersing regularly. I was just wondering how everyone else is doing it.

*snuggles Callie* have you talked to your doc or someone hun?

*snort* "Holy Shiitake mushrooms!!! " Amanda :-D thanks I needed a laugh.

Take care all

I'm heading in to my therapist appointment... Oh happy day...

i cant even do that :blink:

In a nut shell....?








starving it off.

Replacing meals with drinks

I am worried,
I am drunk
I am useless
I should die
I am not smart enough
I am a bitch
I cant help anyone
I am a failure
I cant deal with feelings
I cant sleep or study
I have failed to reach my potential
I dont want to do this anymore
I have had enough and yet nobody in R/L knows, or those that do don't even care.

You are NOT useless...
You should NOT die...
You ARE smart enough
You AREN'T a bitch...
You've helped me loads of times...
You HAVENT failed
You WILL reach your full potential

COMPLETE ****ING WASTE OF TIME!!!!!

*throws herself down in her corner and cries*

*squishes Ally*

Do you want to talk about it or to be left alone for a while?

*snuggles everyone if they want it*

I feel pretty low, infact death seems rather too appealing again.

****.

*snuggles Carol*
Well I just drove home after my session to use the hour I have before work productively... By cutting ass deeply as I can:crying:

Emma luv, I just saw you... I pmd you sweetie *snuggles*

Ignorance is bliss.

:(

*snuggles Ally, Carole, Helen, and Forever Lost*

Whats up Helen? Death is not a good option for you as far as I'm concerned. You are worth more. So much more.

*hugs Ally* What did your counsellor say? Thanks for the PM. I will reply in a bit xx

*hugs Amanda*

Em, it does seem like a good option though. Would stop the pain, would mean all the bad times gone (and missing out on the good I guess)....meh. I can't DO this. I'm going to ****ing FAIL my last exam. I never EVER go out. Work people are sooo gonna STOP inviting me cus I haven't said yes to any events yet. Well I did for the first one, but that got cancelled, then will's party I said maybe and then couldnt get there.....then like should be going out tonight but I'm not :( Shall I countinue?

*snuggles Amanda* I love you sweetie... I am Ally :-D *snuggles*

Ah, what did he say? Well we spent the first twenty or so minutes (mmm, closer to thirty really) of a fifty minute session talking about how he had been frusterated after Mondays session... Something about feeling like we weren't making progress, there being an ethical problem with continuing therapy when it doesn't appear to be helping... Mondays session he had asked me what it would mean to me not to continue therapy... And I told him that it would be one less thing on my schedual. How he was confused (and I'd wager a bit hurt) that I could be so flip about it and then want an additional session... I suppose it was slightly unfair of me to think he would realize that what that ment was I didn't want to go there and tell him that I don't look forward to not being in therapy, that I don't look forward to the time when his internship is over and he leaves. He took it as me saying that there really isn't a point or something like that. It felt awful. I wanted to look at him and say 'well fine, throw me out into the street if you want to I've done it by myself before I can do it again'. That too would have been slightly unfair and I totally understood what happened on Monday and that I should have just said what I ment. But it sucked :crying: and had me trying my hardest to not experience emotions that I hate... AND there was really no time to talk about 'being done' and how distressing that is after we had sorted that out.

And so I went home and cut very deep and felt only slightly better. Think this calls for a bottle or two of wine after work...

**** me:crying:

Helen yes there IS reason to continue... If only because you've told me I have to ;-) seriously though hun, really, we all love you... Isn't that reason enough? *snuggles*

If you're answering my question, I meant shall I coutinune explaining...:blush: I know you guys loveme *snuggles*

I'm out of here for a while. I'll be avaliable via email, pm and msn incase anyone is bothered...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaareerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


FOR **** ****ING SAKE

It godamn ****ing hurtys. Why does nobody god damn realise this? enough is ****ing enough. My wrist ****ing canes. I hate this ****ing life. Bastards. Wanker tossers. Enough is friggin enoughg/ \AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAr4rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*craw,lsv up in a ball to cry anf hopefull7y die*