I suppose I don't want my family to know. They can know my fears but not my feelings. At the moment my only emotion is fear but I still have a sense of humour.

Do you want to talk about why you don't want your family to know?

I suppose I don't have the words and I don't want to say the wrong thing.

They might be increasing my clozapine. I am worried about more weight gain. How do I stay a healthy size without resorting to unhealthy habits? Has anyone had this problem?

I don't have personal experience with clozapine but I wonder if your treatment team could help you with this? I know it's a common side-effect so hopefully they will have some ideas about healthy weight-management. I assume anyone you ask on your team will know your history with eating and be able to help you keep an eye on things to ensure that you're managing your weight in a healthy and safe way.

In terms of unhealthy habits, I would suggest sharing any plans you make (e.g. taking regular walks for exercise) with your mum or another family member so that they can help you stick to that and not slip into anything dodgy. If you don't feel comfortable sharing an idea for a diet/lifestyle change, that's your sub-conscious telling you that it's NOT a healthy idea and therefore don't do it!

Sorry to not have any specific advice, I hope someone else will have something to suggest!

Thank you Pi that is helpful.

Tamobhuuta, I know from personal experience how distressing it can be. My only suggestion is to ask about a dietitian.

Also, something that has really helped me is looking into the HAES (health at every size) side of things. Weight gain does not mean anything negative about you. If you are doing something that benefits your health, does it matter what the number on the scales is? A lot easier for me to say than to put into practice I know, but something to think about maybe.

My family say I am slim but I looked in the mirror and I look overweight. I know weight isn't a moral issue but I feel awful.

Family and I are very angry. My sister isn't eating except dinner, which she purges, and a few fortisips but all her CC says is 'keep the hope' when her reason for starving herself is to hurt herself and eventually die, she has no hope.

My sister saw her GP today, who wasn't very helpful. But she is being really brave and phoning an ED support line.

I'm glad your sister is trying to get support. How can we support you?

I suppose I want to hear that my sister's problems are not my fault. And if anyone has advice for me to support her.

Good news, the GP has referred her to ED services. Obviously the queue is long but at least he has taken her seriously.

You're right that your sister's problems are absolutely not your fault. I think by posting here it shows how much you really care about her. I think just encouraging her to work with support and get help, as well as doing your best to eat healthy amounts and set a good example through your actions are all good options.

Right now I can see how really thin she is, and I don't want to get that thin.

She has seen her GP and tomorrow she is seeing the nurse to be weighed and have an ECG.

I'm glad you are able to see that and that she is getting proper help.

I don't mean for this to be rude, but your sister is not on RYL and you are. So I'm just wondering how you are doing and how we can best support you, not her. Is it just nice to be able to have a space to talk about stuff, or do you want to talk about how you're doing and coping with it all as well?

I look in the mirror and I hate how I look. My family say I am a healthy weight and I know I am a healthy clothes size but all I can see is fat. I try to control my eating but it's never enough and I love chocolate.

What do you do when you know someone is going to make themselves sick?

There's nothing wrong with eating chocolate or eating a bit more or unhealthy at times. That's actually part of normal eating.

As far as what to do about other people, you aren't in control of their actions. You can talk to them about it after the fact to ask if they would like support or intervention if you felt up to offering, but otherwise that's just not something you can control.

Thank you for your reassurance, it really helps.

There is one mirror in the house which makes me look even bigger so I'm going to avoid it.

I'm so proud of my sister, she is going try not to keep a food/calorie diary.