Lia , No I don't think I will just "get over it" , that would be nice though hmm?

As for your other question , I really don't know , I didn't really go to "normal school" and I don't know anyone I know who S.I.'s , It would be sad if people S.I.'d because they think it's glamourous , It could so easily spiral from that to out of control .....

It just seems to me like some people do. It kinda makes me angry in a way because they have no idea what it's really like. What you'd really have to be feeling to deliberatly inflict that upon yourself. I remember when I very first did it. I don't want to go into details because it might trigger, but I remember promising never to do it again. 3 years later and I've not managed to keep that promise.

I can understand why it would make you angry Lia, It makes light of our pain somewhat I think.

*Hugs Lia* Thanks for talking with me ,I'm tired so am going to bed soon , I know it's early but I'll be safe in bed all wrapped up in my blanket :) Safe from S.I. and I may sleep away the urges , even though they are under the surface now.

Ok Mark, like you said, what are friends for :)

Goodnight, sleep well. *Hugs*

I remember when I first did it, but thats one of my first memories, been doing it for many years and noone who I confide in believes how long I've done it for because when I started I was too young to have bad feelings... People mostly suck

Had a rough weekend, new medication kinda makes me hallucinate a bit, and I can't focus.

*cuddles Lia and Mark* I kinda feel like a giraffe this time. Last time I was a badger. Strange. :/

*huggles everyone*

*hugs everyone*
Sorry for going missing for the weekend. I went to camp. haha. Sorry. I don't know if anyone noticed I was gone or not, but I'm back.

I will give a proper update later. Love you guys.

*huggles mark* I'm...surviving *shrugs*

me had fun today... cept unno why normal people eat so much and dont even care >.< but got to drool over people and actually say 'damn shes hot' and have ppl agree with me :P

and laura- you can talk to me anytime. tbh i really only trigger myself >.< hope you're kay. loveyou

will reply to everyone else later, am falling asleeeep

*hugs felicia* hope you had fun camping! i missed you over the weekend, was starting to get worried... I said i wondered where u were a few pages back. How r u else wise?

*hugs heather* glad you had a good day today :-) and thanks, i might message you on fb soon... i am starting to really need to talk to someone...

*hugs sarah* im sorry that you are having issues with your meds, can you talk to your doctor about it?

*hugs kat* good to hear from you! it sounds like things are great right now... is there anything we can do to help?

*hugs nicole* I missed you over the weekend too! its been awhile since you've posted. How are you?

*hugs lia* I know what you mean about some people glamorizing SI. Its sucks that people do it... but I guess its just reality that sometimes people do things for "attention" (<-- not always bad, but if its really fake pain then its hard to imagine it being okay) or to fit into a group. On a happier note - yay christmas music! :-)

*hugs mark* i think I have seen a definite improvement with you since the time you have been posting in the ward. I mean, we all have our up and down moments, but I can notice a difference with you overall. I think that is making great strides before you are 30! You'll kick the SI in the butt eventually, I really believe that. and I am proud of you too!

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that pain managment dismissed your complaints.. that really sucks. sounds like that guy was a real a**hole. You should at least put in a complaint. Hope the results of your medical stuff turn out okay/easily fixed and that your computer continues to play nice.

Had a busy day which was good i suppose, but it was quite long.. went on a coffee shop writing workshop for the magazine i am web editor for and then had work at the newspaper. Stressed about graduate school applications again, working on essays right now. I know this seems like a crap update, but trying to keep things kind of light right now before bed.

*runs into the ward and sends cuddles and care packages to everyone*

I've never been in here but Im feeling really triggered and really alone... I'm losing and confused n have no one...

Has anything made you feel triggered? *cuddles gently* You have all of us here in the Psych ward, so don't feel alone xx

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Kat*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Waves to wasteofspace* Hello I'm Mark :)


EDIT:-
Well it took an effort and a half to pull myself out of bed in the morning today , Total lack of motivation , Feeling really low , 30th not helping I guess I'm going to whine about that a lot in the next few weeks so sorry in advance , I am a failure .

EDIT EDIT:- Oh and the 9th of November is the date I set myself when I was suicidal to kill myself , I was serious , But I've been adjusted meds wise and I am not as Suicidal but I still get thoughts of it, I just don't know how I'll cope with that day :S sorry

*hugs Mark back* Lack of motivation aside and all, you've done well to get out of bed :) I hope you start to feel better though! And you are not a failure. Look after yourself today and keep hanging in there.

Thanks Kaytee , Hopefully the cafffine will kick in soon heh . How are you doing?

Hi Amy :) are you tired ?

*Spots Kahlia and Hugs* How are you ? How's your arm? Did you have your tests? Sorry for all the questions :S