*cries*

i feel like i'm 14 again.

:'(

i. can't. deal. with. this. again.

*curls up in a corner and rocks back and forth*

*cuddles chloeeee*!!!!


Hang in there hon ok? things will get better someday.....just think of the good times u've had previously :-)

*snuggles Chloe*
I'm sorry sweetie, I wish I had something for you...
*sits next to Chloe and is just 'there' with her*

thank you ally, it's exactly what i need right now.

and thanks jeremeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, i will try :notsure:

but. i don't know :crying:
sorry im so crap today

Any time, Chloe, luv, any time.

Hmmm, thinking maybe it's time for some sleep:yawn:
Night all

Hugs are good - thank you a million. i am just really struggling right now and dont know what to do..

you're not ineffective and the hand made bandana is lovely - i really just feel i can't be helped right now.

Wish I could help you. i feel as if i have a jetplane engine going of in my head and its so full it's going to burst.

I'll sit and rock with you if that's any help? Hugsx

thank you katch.
i have been reading your posts. really hope you're okay, or as okay as you can be

Chloe...how r u feeling rite now? any better?

*Squishes u*

i feel like ****. in every way.

my friend just came in and asked how the study was going. he was kinda shocked when i told him i haven't opened any books all day.

haha. i'm such a failure

You aren't a failure Chloe *hugs* everyone needs the occasional day (or sometimes days) when we have 'us' time. Don't punish yourself for needing some time away from the stress of work (and if it makes you feel anybetter, I haven't touched a book since Sunday lol).

I'm here if you want to talk sweetie xx

*cuddles chloe*

Just do the best u can...maybe u should see ur doc and submit some sort of request for assistance/special consideration for the exams???

I'm on msn if u wanna talk..tc there tho xxx

*snuggles Chloe and her Auntie Katch*

Auntie K, it's alright to have nothing, some times are like that hun. We've all been there, I dare say many of us have been there several times. Flat, empty, awful, whatever, it all makes it very hard to do anything. That's when others do the supporting *snuggles*

Chloe you are SO not a failure. Emmas right, sometimes a 'mental health day' is just required. Inaction, while frustrating, is part and parcel to these damn 'problems' we all deal with and sometimes that is literally all we can do. That's ok.*cuddles*

*hugs everyone else that needs/wants*
--------------
I couldn't fall asleep and then I wake up at 05:00 on a day I technically could have slept in :-( damn it all to hell, what in the world is going on here? I suppose it's not too bad as I've a LOT of uni work to do if I'm to pass my courses and graduate Saturday... But even knowing that all I want to do is lay in bed in my dark room and stare at the ceiling:pinch: Another day of hauling myself out of bet and pushing to get things accomplished with absolutely no energy or will... Ah well, c'est la vie

Daaaammn! I just figured out the time difference between here in Pacific Standard time and all y'all down there in Australia and it's like, 17 hours!!! Well at least the difference between here and Sydney. Crazy, lol.

And now...
*this is me, feeling crap*
Haven't cut in four days:notsure:... Not because I don't want to, I SO want to cut, I want to hurt I just don't seem to have the will to do it:crying: damn it :crying:

Heya everyone :)

If anyone wants to chat i will be around for a while untill i have to go to the hospital and maybe the police station soon :(

*hugs for everyone who needs or wants them* xx

*cuddles LP-Emma*
What's up luv?

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry :-( That must have been awful:crying: I bet you're feeling pretty terrible, physically and emotionally*snuggles* I wish I knew what to say hunni...

sent you a pm big sis - love you - hugging you - and wiping the tears away from your eyes for you.

Hi everyone. Ally I don't know how to figure australia but nz is minus four hours, plus one day. I'm glad that you are doing what you know you have to even if you do feel awful.

Chloe, hang in there.

My hands are shaking this morning too much caffeine and sugar and no protein and probably too little sleep.

My husband has already chewed my ass this morning. I wish I knew how to tell him that the more he chews the bigger it will get. Part of why I didn't sleep well is because of his snoring! Yet when a doc prescribes some kind of nasal spray Philip doesn't take it, after all he isn't congested. Pah!

I'm still glad to be where I am. The mountains of Colorado are beautiful. Plus there is still a bit of snow on the highest peaks.

Well, I made it four days without cutting...:blink: And then suddenly found the will...

*retreats to her corner with her blanket, tea, and uni work*

No gary no!!! lol...i hope u've seen those nicorette ads haha - or is it just showed in aus...

anyway..stay safe ally!!! *cuddles u* Try not to ruin ur 4 days of SI free.....and keep safe xx :-)

lol no, haven't seen them...

As for screwing up my four days... Too late... *shrug* it's not like I was doing it to try and stop anyway...

Hi everyone. I'm thinking of quitting work, I'm just not well enough.
But I need money. Arrrggghhh, what should I do??

My boss pointed out the bandage on my arm today and said 'have you been self abusing?' and then told me she self-harmed a lot herself. She wants me to wear a plaster over my burn and buy a clean bandage.
She told me if the area manager comes in she will physically take the bandage off my arm. That's something I'm scared about.

She also told me if I take another day off, then I'll be sacked.

I can't take any of this. I just want to curl up in a corner and die.

Sorry, I've missed a lot, can only get on when I can get to an internet cafe at the moment, unless I risk hacking into my parents' internet, but after last time... I ain't going to be doing that again. *sigh*
Anyways, *hugs for everyone who needs* I haven't had time to go through all the recent posts. sorry... But when I can get more time online, I'll be able to reply more.

I have cuddles for everybody
I'm sorry i can't reply to the posts they only let me have my laptop for an hour
Thinking of you all xxxxxxx

Hey jo!!

haven't heard from u for a while..hope ur okies there xxx

I don't really know what i am it all feels too much atm, like everything is piling on top of me and i can't do all the things people want me to do.
But i am trying because i want to get out of hospital.
How are you? x

Sends everyone huggles.

I feel pretty happy, but it's wearing away. Least it came to visit once again I guess :)

Guess who's gonna finish their exam real early tomorrow? WOOOOOOOO =]

I happy you are happy :) hope it lasts
Good luck for your exam xxxx

Thanks hunni.
*sisterly hugs*

Feeling awful.

*hugs* Sup hun?

*hugs back*
I'm just so scared of Beth. She's being really violent tonight.
I hurt myself yesterday and now I have to wear a bandage at work.

^ I know how hiding at work feels, it's awful isn't it?
Who's beth hun?
Is there any way you can get away from her tonight?

Beth is the spirit who talks to me. I don't know how to get away from her, I took olanzapine last night and it didn't work.

Could you try reasoning with her? Would that work?

*hugs more* Sorry you had to hurt yourself sweetie. Do work know about anything?
Sorry I have no suggestions about Beth, keep talking here though, sweetie.

How are you Kuwairo (sorry don't know your name...)?

xxx

I just tried looking at different types of accommodation..to get out of my house...and realised...i dont have a freaking clue where to start....other than I need a job...and at this rate....probably some flatmates...
or maybe a box and i'll go stay outside tesco :blink:

=[

Feeling pretty gutted and stuffs.
Nobody really gives a stuff.
Except some people...

*hugs* what happened sweetie?

I'm gutted that I'm not a supporter, well thats pretty much the main reason.

I'm in agony godamm, never going to do that excercise ever again :(

^ you may not be a supporter but it doesn't make you any less supportive.

Alexx, a job is a good start, yeah. Do you know anyone else who wants to rent a flat, you could rent together?

Auburn Shadow, I'm Laura (but Ku please...) and I'm ok thanks, how are you (and who are you too...)?

You're right =D

I hate having conflicting emotions :( Esp when sucidical is one.

*doesn't know what to do anymore*

Hellllooooo everyone :)

How are we all tonight??

--

Guess who's now a happy bunny hehe thanks to someone i can't stop smiling and i just want to jump around and act all stupid hehe cause i'm like soooo excited and happy happy happy and no i haven't been drinking lol. xx

Woooooooooooooooooooooo =D thats thanks to my wonderful parents eh Emma? ;) Well from me more ;) xxxxxxxx

I'd jump around but I'm in agony!

p['lkfmnvmc;dlcke[dpfo3[w#pofkpe3lmflk m kjnbkjfvkfnmkjv;kjhd!!!!!!

Yeah deffo :) i know sooo can't wait to meet you and hopefully Em, i am over joyed and i want these next 2 weeks to hurry up lol.
I'm in agony aswell thanks to earlier but i don't care i'm to excited hehe.

You alright Alex?? *huggles*

*hugs Alexx* Sup hun?

Just...stressing out.
The people who were SUPPOSED to call me to tell me whether or not i have a job interview HAVENT...
I NEED a job to get money to get a flat to move out.
I want to make my counsellor a thankyou card because it was supposed to be my last session today (only i couldnt make it coz i had to babysit ¬¬) but i have all the creative talents of a frikkin wooden spoon ><
Plus I'm bored stiff and I just want to BE with someone.
I want to curl up next to someone...talk about nothing in particular....or sit and say nothing at all...i just want company :(

Most annoying thing is?
this has JUST crept up on me and pounced ><

*wanders in and collapses in her corner*

Wow, everyones in here just in time for me to leave.

Ugh, I am 100% exhausted, not ready for tomorrows exam or for the other two I have this week. I've been packing and cleaning (as cleaning is the way I procrastinate during exam week lol) and studying some... SO much to do, SO little time, no energy, no real will or reason to do any of it anyway as my future looks like one big fat blank...

*curls up in her corner with her kitty and trys to sleep and block out the world*

Ugh, AND, I've got to go into work three hours early too... like, now actually:pinch: fun times.