Sadder still I know the words...

ah lia, 'kay, that makes some sense now. what's study leave? - is it as simple as it sounds? once again, sorry if i sound dense... :(

mark, how are you doing? *hugs*

kahlia, that's lovely news. *hugs* how else are you doing?

hels, sorry about the "cut-off" chatting earlier; my parents' comp was being weird and wouldn't load the screen. :( sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you... *cuddles* hope you enjoy your hols. :)

i'm really tired... :( but i've been helpful this morning so that was good, i guess, i don't know. i'm so triggered right now though because my parents' older dog is all skin and bones and it's so ****ing triggering... they should just euthanize him. :'( he's sooo ill. :(

*hides in a hole*

I did wonder what had happened :P *cuddles tight*

Khalia~ that's excellent news! *tosses confetti*
Helen~ have a good time on your trip.
*cuddles April* sorry you got triggered hun.
*hugs everyone*

Hmm I'm not doing well today. iam a little upset and
pissed off. I fail to understand how iam suppost to
win this one. If I don't say anything you worry anyway
if I do you worry, if I walk away you will just worry.
It's a no win situation. rocks back and forth mubbling
this sucks. =[

Right, I'm off you lovely people, will see you next Saturday!!! :)

*leaves lots of hugs & treats to last you*

Don't miss me too much will you LOL

Helen! *huggles* I'll miss you while you're gone! have a good time!

(I still spy you.. trying to get my bye in before u leave lol)

WIll respond to everyone else in a minute

*waves to helen* bye! have fun!

*hugs kat and lindsay* sorry that you two are not feeling so well..

*hugs kahlia* I'm so glad that the reviewer sided with you! At least now something will be said to someone that they will have to listen too. *joins crimson in confetti tossing*

*hugs lia? (i'mjustme)* I dont think i've met you before... If i have i'm sorry for being dense, but I'm laura. Sorry that you are missing school and that you're family is annoying you. I understand that to a degree, i mean, obviously i don't know what goes on in your family, but when I'm at home I sometimes feel like i better get out of there quick heh.

*hugs april* Sorry that you are tired and was triggered. Try not to do anything too bad.

*hugs crimson* how r u today?

*hugs jill and mark*

Its thunder storming again. I love it. Especially b/c i dont have to go anywhere so i can sit and watch. Sent my friend a message after he sent me 2 or 3 asking how I am and i skillfully avoiding answering every one with the information he actually wanted to know. But then I got one with direct questions that I could not avoid. So i guess now he is going to know about how different things are getting. With my ex gone at field training for the air force, things really are different for me... It's bad but I don't feel the need to be friends with all of his friends while he is away. In fact, it almost feels wrong when I hang out with them now. But that is kinda bad b/c that is my only social group here at uni really. I love my work people, but I just met them so we don't really hang outside of work. Anyway, this is getting long I know. And I have no idea why I am typing it all out except for the fact that I think I've needed to admit to someone that things feel so different... I guess this just reaffirms my "if i make it that far, i need to go to graduate school far far away" theory.

Pops in and sees Helen leave in a whirlwind - hope you have a good time Hels whatever you're up to!

Hello all my other fellow wardies! Reggie and I send our love and snuggles and huggles! He's busy running round like a loon, lol, and I'm trying to rest as I'm going to see Green Day at wembley stadium tomorrow.....but they buggered up the tickets, they've given me general admission standing rather than the ambulant seating ones I ordered!! But I phoned them and its too late to change it. So I'm not missing it....think my crutches may need to come back out for me to survive the crowd, eek!

I'm in limbo on whether I'll be moving soon or not. I'll keep you all posted. I just want to know so that I can then get the stress over and done with and bunny proof my new place. My living room currently has cardboard boxes blocking up things so that reggie can't destruct them, but he's gonna make his way through the boxes!!

Sorry for all the self absorbed waffle, but far too much has happened for me to comment individually, so I hope that my post has helped to keep you distracted for the couple of minutes that it may take to read it.

*hugs hayley* It's good to hear from you! Reading your posts is definitely a good distraction :-) I'm sorry that they messed up your tickets but I bet you'll have a lot of fun at the concert anyway, Green Day usually puts on a good show! Hope that you figure out the moving stuff soon too!

I need hugs, i'm missing my Dad

*huggles Lindsay and sits with her as long as she needs*

Thank you.

How are you?

eh i'm on the fence as for how i am today.better than yesterday so far though.

*extra huggles for Laura, Lindsay and Crimson* just cos they're about in the ward atm - I don't want to seem as if I'm picking and choosing!!

*goes around ward, looking in all the holes and hiding places to give appropraite tlc to her other wardies*

hmmm, to nap then do dinner, or do dinner then nap?!!....

i vote nap then dinner :)
*hugs back*

Reggie has just been running circles round me - literatly! it means he likes me, I'm chuffed! Gonna have a fag, nap then dinner methinks. May pop back in later depending on my energy levels.
hmmm, strange thoughts, I miss you guys, so I wonder if i'd be better off still struggling....BUT then I KNOW thats not a sensible thought, its just weird how my priorities have changed and I've less time for the ward now I'm doing better....but I always think about you guys....

*toddles off for a fag before she thinks too much and gets in a pickle*

i spy hayley!! *glomps gently* heehee... :) have missed you and your posts, glad to hear that things are going well!! hope that you do okay at the green day concern, enjoy your nap, have fun with reggie, and don't forget to come back and post all about it all. :P

erm so yes... responses...

crimson *cuddles* how you doing today? have you "got off the fence" yet? glad that today's better than yesterday though... that's good.

hels, do enjoy your trip!! i know you're probably long gone by now but just wanted to wish it to you again anyway. :) *cuddles*

jill, sorry you're not doing too well, although your post confused me a bit as to whom you were addressing. *cuddles*

laura, yey for thunderstorms... they are so impressive!! (as long as they don't have tornadoes along with 'em... heh) i hope you feel better over the course of the next few days - being low really, really sucks. (as you know - i don't have to tell you that!!) i'm sorry that things feel really, really different - but is that a good or a bad thing? *cuddles* maybe a little "change-up" in routine is a good thing... i don't know, though. how has si been lately?

lindsay *sits next to as well, after setting a box of cuddles on the table for her and everyone else that i didn't mention in my responses - not leaving you out on purpose, promise!!*

i'm so... triggered right now. still. i even took a nap for almost 2 hours and i am still triggered... just goes to prove that sleep is not always an antidote for triggered'ness. grrrrr... i feel so fat and ugly... :'( and those feelings are not likely to go away anytime soon. :(

i see my new therapist for the second time on wednesday. i'm nervous. i'm going to have to take charge of the appt and make sure that she knows i don't want to do sessions every other week, etc. - exactly what i know that i need for recovery to happen. but... oh, i don't know. i still have to call the insurance company to see what my copay's gonna be... probably $15/appt but i'm not sure. that's what it was for my last therapist, and she was located in the same place. so yeah. i hate making phone calls though... especially to insurance companies!!!!

anyway. sorry for rambling and ranting... :(

*hides in a hole, mumbling "selfish selfish selfish"...*