your doing so well



i cant deal with mum anymore
all she does is put me down
im sorry

*hugs* Yes, you're a good girl Jo! =D Good girl and SO brave talking to the police, I promise.

*hugs other Jo* It's not your fault your mom is like that, she's just being mean.

im supposed to be meeting with the police today to get more statements done, IM SO SCARED. i dont know if im going to be able to do this, i feel so sick and my stomachs in knots.

i dont feel like a good brave girl Tracie
*curls up shaking*

You ARE brave and you can do it! *hugs* :) We have faith in you

i spent 5 hours with the police yesterday, it was so hard and i really struggled but managed to tell them some.
i had lots of flashbacks when i was with them but they did get bits of information during them.
they still want more details from me but i couldnt do anymore yesterday so im seeing them on tuesday, but im really not coping to well just now.
im feeling very out of control and unsafe at the moment.

*hugs tight* You did SUCH A GOOD JOB! =D =D =D So proud of you Jo! *hugs more*Great Job!

*holds onto you tightly* me not doing so good. me destroying self, not coping memories and flashbacks so severe.
me done bad
*curls up*

so scared about seeing police tomorrow.
still feeling so out of control and unsafe not sure i can do this anymore, the police want to know to many details. me cant.

i met with the police again yesterday i did manage to tell them quite a lot more and thought i was doing quite well until they gasped and the looks on their faces of disgust made me feel so dirty.

were they disgusted with me?
did i do bad?

no sweetie- they werent disgusted with you, and you're VERY brave to talk to them <3

They were disgusted that your sister could do this to you. *hugs*

oh ok thank you!

will i ever be able to get over this and move on?
every person i see who looks at me i think is one of her friends and they want to hurt me. im to scared to leave the house now.
also since talking to the police the flashbacks and nightmares have intensified severely and they are so real to the point where i can feel them and smell them and it hurts too.
will i ever be normal?

I think with some therapy and help, and maybe a move to a new area you'll feel better. Also, do you like dogs? I think you'd be a good candidate for a psychiatric dog. Dogs help make you feel safer too if it's a big one that can protect you.

i feel like ****
she keeps saying it all
maybe she is right
nothing feels right
my new mentor at work reminds me of her
she is very abrupt and keen to criticise people
and expects people to agree with her
feels like mum a bit
know im being stupid

not bein stupid
she dont sound like a good mentor, mentors dont criticise people lots or expect people to agree all the time

your moms not right, cant trust what she says since she let you be abused/abuses you hun

*snuggles*

im sorry

nothin to be sorry for Jo *hugs gently*

scared to ask to change mentor

could you email someone about it maybe? sometimes email is a little less scary

mum being mean
why is it she allowed to be in bad mood and im not
why is it im ****

really struggling to cope with what they are doing to me, having trouble believing that its not my fault because yesterday she said she loves me lots but has to teach me not to be bad by punishing me.
i tried to tell her im not bad but she said i am because ive been to the hospital and talking to people.
so is it my fault then?

after what happened yesterday the police have agreed to put up camera's in my house, so they can stop this.

No, she's wrong. She's just trying to trick you. She's the bad one and she's just trying to make you feel guilty by saying she loves you. She deserves to be in big trouble. *hugs* I really hope those cameras work.

Lost
 

For as long as I can remember, since I was a child, my mom has made me cry myself to sleep almost everyday. As I grew older, it just got worse. I can't talk to her without her yelling or saying I have and attitude and I'm trying to start an argument. She wants me to talk to her, but I can't. Two years ago I scratched my arm with my nails because my mom pushed me over the edge. It didn't even break skin, but it was enough to get their attention. That day, she promised to make an effort to change. I kept her to that promise, but of course she didn't keep it. Now the temptation to cut is pushing me farther and farther. I have even had at least three asthma attacks due to stress my mother caused me, but I never told her because she would just think I'm exaggerating. I never considered it to be abuse until today. I'm not sure if it is, but all I know is it's pushing me closer to the edge of insanity, and I want help but I don't know how to get it or who to talk to. I have convinced myself that if I had died during my accident when I was two, or maybe even never born, everyones lives would be better. Everything is my fault. If I didn't exist she would never have taken her anger out on me, and my family. Sometimes I wish I was dead. At school I'm happy because it gets me away from my mom, and she can't yell at me there. I have friends and people to talk to, I can live my own life as the real me. But when I get home, I turn into this quiet girl who sits alone in her room crying and listening to music. I hate the person I have become. I even think she is the reason I have developed OCD. I am constantly obsessed with how I look, I can't concentrate, and my room needs to be spotless before I go to bed or else as soon as I wake up I am stressed out. My mom always talks about when Im older and WHEN i have kids, but the truth is I dont want kids because Im afraid I will abuse them like my mom did me. I dont want to become my mother.

It sounds like your mom has really done an umber on your mind. Have you ever spoken to anyone about it? It sounds life it might be emotional/psychological abuse. But either way, you seem extremely distressed. Maybe you could try some family therapy and see if someone can help you talk to your mom and work some problems out. *hugs*

she wont stop saying i bad
im evil
im in the way

It was my Sister

Do you want to tell us what your sister did to you?

Girls always hurt me
I feel disgusting

You're not disgusting sweetie, it's not your fault. They did wrong, not you. *hugs*

not sure

It's up to you honey, we're here if you decide to. *hugs*

im really struggling to deal with what my sister and her friends have done to me. this last attack and final attack has left me in a bad way physically but most of all mentally and psychologically, im having severe panic attacks, flashbacks and nightmares and im not coping.
i think im losing it
why am i struggling so much?

*sits in thread* *breaksdown*

*sits next to libz* are you ok sweetie? *offers hugs*

nope. i not.
*cries*

awww sweetie im here if you want to talk baby *cuddles if ok*

jus rough week wis evweting.
cuddles k. tanks.
is pas four am here. i not been sleps. i not tired one bit

awww baby im sorry your having a really tough time, im always here if you want to talk or pm.
*cuddles*
your going to be very tired later baby

i gots homework nee do sometime today.
same goes for you, can talk me.
i sowy.
know youse not doin good.
*hug you*sowy

thank you sweetie
nothing to be sorry for baby, im just struggling like you
thanks for the hugs much needed
*cuddles *

*cuddle fest*

why dont you try and get a bit of sleep baby. i'll sit with you.
*cuddles close*

i been lying iwhere gon sleep whixh is floor in comfy way but i not tired one bit. hapens.
cans come cuddle.

*comes over to you and cuddles you*

tanks.
ill close off n try goes sleps gain afer send you quick pm.
*cuddle close*
tanks jo.

your welcome baby anytime.
*cuddles closer*

Some people never think girls do hurt me in that way but they do :'(

*cuddles Libby, Jo & Darkpelt* Jo it's normal to be this upset about what was done to you--it was horribly traumatic. Anyone would be hurting and still scared over it. *cuddles Libby* I know you don't like it when I tell you things will get better, but just know that we're here for you and love you. As for Darkpelt, we believe that girls have hurt you in bad ways, and you can tell us if you want.

im sorry.

You didn't do anything wrong sweetie