*curls up in the corner*

That would be super cool. Especially since we don't have many strawberries growing in our garden this year.

hugs everyone

*hugs Louise* how are you?

not crazy. :] *hugs*
i love to howl at the moon (this certainly doesn't make it not crazy, ahah, i sure am). i love and hate the moon for the same reasons. it's kind of both, and kind of neither. maybe i'm jealous. maybe i'm naive. it scares me more when the moon is new, when she's not around.
last night it was soooo big, even though I knew it was waning it felt a lot closer than the night before.

*snuggles in the corner* why do i fail so epically at life? i mean really i just do it everytime.

*hugs happiness * I'm sorry you are feeling that way Hun! I'm sure you don't fail at life but I hope things get better for you!

I spent today with my cousins at an amusement park - I am exhausted! !

How did it go?

well things are better today but im staying level headed in case it doesnt work out.

*hugs Faye* you don't fail at all sweetheart. I'm glad things are a bit better.

*hugs Laura* how are you doing sweetie? hope your cousins didn't wear you out too much!

*hugs pandachan* good to know it's not just me, lol!

Well they were better, then my dad says he will ring me later as i was really happy and excited. He hasnt rang me then my phone rings its him and hes like can i speak to your brother please doesnt even want to know me. **** it im just a joke to him. He doesnt care about me or want to talk to me. May as well be dead to him.

*hugs* sorry your dad's acting like this sweetheart you dont deserve it xx

I obviously do, for the first time in ages i was really happy and he says ill ring you later and has the cheek to ring me to speak to my brother nice one dad.

*hugs all*

hey laura hows you? x

I'm frustrated/angry/sad/disappointed because my health insurance 'lost' the form that the hospital where I want to go sent them and now I can't go there before college starts.

How are you?

Oh no can they do anything about it? have you complained?

I was doing ok but then things went pear shaped. My dad said he would call as i was happy but never did he then rang my phone to speak to my brother and then never bothered with me. Hes seen me 2 times in nearly 5 weeks because i cant get to him i always have to make the effort.

It's not nice that your dad is treating you that way. When my dad used to treat me in a bad way I used to 'take a break' off of him and stopped having contact for a few weeks. Then he usually called me and he was really nice. Maybe taking a break for a while would help? I dunno. I think when someone is always there we sometimes don't notice how much we like them until they are not there anymore and we miss them.

I called the insurance every day for 2 weeks now. Complain because of what? Because the form never got there? I can't prove that they made a mistake. And complaining wont help me anyway. I wont be able to go in that specialized hospital before college starts (in 7 weeks)

Having a bad day, I am just tired and moody as heck (stupid period, I despise being a girl). Not only am I moody because of my period but I also have to put up with my moms boyfriends 7 year old daughter who is completely annoying. Not to mention I have an bratty teenage sister to deal with as well as her friend. The house is crowded and everyone is getting on my nerves so my inner b**** is coming out. I just want the house to be nice and quiet and to be able to sleep all day and not have to deal with all this stuff. My nerves are already on edge enough as is and I will most likely end up self harming again. Gah I hate being around people.

*curls up whining quiet*
i feels ucky :(

*gently hugs rising*

How are you all doing? (hugs)

*hugs rising* sorry you dont feel good hun, want to talk?

Thanks laura i have decided im not going to contact him until he bothers with me. Im going to say nothing. Its his choice im fed up of making all the effort all the time so its up to him now.

its quiet in here today *snuggles in the corner hoping someone will come in and keep company* dont like being alone.

*comes in and curls up in corner sobbing*

I can't do this any more

*hugs* What is making you feel this bad?

I'm having constant anxiety attacks I can't breathe I think the ex is going to hunt me down and drag Dylan cat away from his owners and hurt him in front of me then kill me

*hugs dylan* i know anxiety attacks are awful honey, but they're not real. No one's going to hurt you xxx

something in my head is screaming, and i don't remember what i did today. the thoughts don't belong to me, i don't want this *shakes*

*hugs dylan* anxiety is awful - remember that it will pass and don't forget to breathe.

*Hugs sapphire* feel better hun - on a side note what you wrote reminded me of River Tam from Firefly - has a poetic quality to it (I mean that as a compliment)

I am mixed up tonight... So many things going through my head and not a single sense to them.

*hugs Roots* it's hard when your thoughts don't make sense. Thanks for the compliment :) feel better sweetie

last night of holiday - have to go back to real life - not sure i can cope. i have to hold it together until i see the ED people, and i don't think i can.

*throws Sapphire some glue* we'll help you hold it together - good luck!

I'm two months clean today... I should feel happier about it

well done being 2 months that amazing

*sobs in corner* am i really that unloveable and worthless.

*hugs all*

im a dirty disgusting individual :(

You are loved and valuable happiness. Hang in there

Im not honestly, no one loves me im just a nuisance and a burden to people. Im sorry everyone.

You are certainly not a burden to us.

Thanks laura people at home make me feel like i am just wish i could vanish to a new place and start again.

Happiness you're not a burden (hugs)

why the flip do I have stomach ache like I'm dreading something

Dylan - hope your stomach ache goes away!! Happiness you are anything BUT a burden. Stay strong dear!

Going to have a friend come over and distract me for the evening... I have this huge knot of anxiety in my solarplexus and it is making me want to be sick - the worst is I have no clue why it's there!

*hugs Faye* you are not a burden, or disgusting, or anything you seem to think. You are a fantastic person that we are all so glad to know.

*hugs Roots* anxiety sucks, hope you have fun with your friend!

*hugs dylan* hope you feel better soon hun

Had a good night with my friend - we made a cake off of pinterest and it was way too sweet to actually eat so we're sending it to people we love tomorrow and making them eat it... evil, I know :)

I start teaching my little kids camps tomorrow - beyond anxious for them and kinda wish I didn't have to go...

Another day to wake up, another day feeling like ****. Another day spent with people who trigger me. What have i done i mean really what have i done?

*hugs faye* who's triggering you honey? why do you have to be around them?

*curls into ball* think I'm losing my mind. Thoughts that aren't mine are pushing forward, but they're not talking to me. I can't make out what the whispers are saying. There's a rustling in the back of mind, and I can feel something screaming. My head aches.

i'm so ****ing scared of starting therapy again. my first meeting is next week.. and already my mind is racing with the things that i 'musn't' let her find out about.... :/ how the frack am i ever going to get better if i can never be honest wtith anyone all the way? i'm sick of being this weird effed up broken puzzle-masked lying fake fake fake

My family well my mum and brother they just make me feel so awful and my dad doesnt care. My mum talks to my dad and her friend about me behind my back. I hate it i cant bare it. I hide in my room as much as possible but i cant do that forever. I wish i could.

hun you need to get help, to get you through this. Are you going to see the dr?

*hugs all

Miss it here.

*hugs all*

Today was rough - had some really unruly kids who would not listen at all to me and I ended up being exhausted... Also - never try to explain vandalism to a five year old

*hugs Roots

I can't even imagine. Trying to explain it to a teenager is bad enough!

They were just rotten today and it didn't help my self esteem any at all

saw dr, referred to ED clinic. dont know when will see someone. keep cutting myself during the blank spaces. wish hed killed me. such a ****ing whore.

*hugs everyone* hope you're all ok

Your not a whore hun, keep the cuts clean. Im glad you got th referral.

sorry you guys are having a rough day too *hugs*

why is anything i do never good enough? i try but always fail.