I Feel SO Guilty For Taking a Break From Here.....title change.

[Yellow]

im just dropping in to say hi to everyone.

im doing ok.
been put on a new med that seems to be working pretty well for me.
situations are pretty much still the same but im coping.

Bear (my former dog) has cancer. my sister keeps in touch with his new owner...she works with him. we get regular updates in him.

ive been really sad about it. he was my bestest friend for a year. my huge rottweiler who slept with my every night. my protector.

he will be gone within the year. i love him so much. im going to visit him sometime soon.

Keith is doing great. he brought a bad grade in reading up and is proud about that. im insanely proud of him. hes my little trooper.

i wont be reading or replying to triggering threads because i need to stay as stable as possible. im sorry if thats selfish.

i hope that i will get to a place where i can help without getting so caught up and forgetting about myself.

i love you all to pieces.
please all stay safe!!!!

oh.....and im just going to answer matt's question..i havent even read the thread lmao....but i farted in front of Kelly probably within 2 days of knowing her...hehehhehe.

and NOW im eating pickled eggs alot and my farts have become VERY interesting!!!!!

love you guys!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mandimoo]

pickled anything = yuck!
miss u rachipoos, mand x

[Yellow]

miss you too manda.

a few hours ago when i made this post....it was hard.

i havent been to ryl in about 2 weeks, i think.

there is so so so much pain here. suffering. i cried and cried. i needed to cry which was good.

but i love you guys. i could NEVER leave forever.
its just so hard to see the people you care about the MOST in this whole ****ed up world hurting SO bad!!!

im sorry for babbling.
i love you all.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Yellow]

*cries*
im just stuck on the same thought.
people sit in their cosy homes at night. they sleep soundly. they wake and go about their day. no major problems. a gliche here and there but nothing major.

and here we are. separated so it seems.

so much pain and its ignored, or worst yet not even acknowledged.

****....im sorry.
i havent been here for a bit and i get going sometimes....meh

[Yellow]

****!!!

am i a bad person???
horrible???
terrible???

i feel it right now.
i shouldnt have come back.

i absolutely CANNOT support right now. its too triggering and grueling.
but my god....so many of you have saved me so many times.
and now i feel ive abandoned you. not that im the greatest supporter or anything. im sure you all can get along just fine without me. this is MY problem. MY guilt.

spamming my thread now.
so sorry again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Casper_Fading]

you are a wonderful, sweet caring woman and I love you with all my heart!!!!! *cuddles and pets*

[sparklyshoes]

Rach, you are a lovely woman. You are doing what is right for you right now to help you get better! If going into support is making you feel worse then don't go in there otherwise I'm gonna grab a plane and tie your hands behind your back! Typing is hard with your toes. *cuddles tightly* I hope you start feeling better soon hun xxx

[MammaMia]

I love you Rach

Remember, we understand what you have to do hun :) and maybe read my pm as a little lift?

*snuggles*

xxxx

[crazykat]

Rach you have nothing to feel guilty about, taking time out for yourself is ok. In fact you should be proud of yourself for taking thjat step to look after yourself. Glad that the new med seems to be helping you a bit. Love you loads sweetie. Look after yourself
Kat xxx

[shadowedseraph]

Rachy don't worry about not supporting, we all have times when we can't take it *snuggles* take this as your break time we'll all still love you xx

[Margo]

hey farty-pants
xxx

[irkeninvader]

*hugs you*

[Yellow]

love you guys so freaking much!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mandimoo]

rach, people 'appear' to have no problems, my theory is that everyone else just has better ways of hiding their problems.

love u hun, mand x

[Yellow]

good point manda.
love you hunni.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[BoundNoMore]

Love you Rach <3

[Pomegranate]

Thinking of you Rach xxx