not sure what to call it (feel free to ignore)

[littlelou]

myabe its just me, but i kinda have a hard time talking bout stuff and anytime i feel like it i find that i tend to watch what im saying incase there is people a lot younger than me. sometimes feels like that i can say what i want too cos i should listen or be there for other people as their stuff is more important than mine.

sorry for rabbiting on (prob the wine thats done it)

[Casper_Fading]

talk here! There are some younger epople here but mostly older ones :) so you dont' need to watch yourself!!! *cuddles*

[littlelou]

think its always the way ive been. everybody else is more important than me so they should take priority

[Casper_Fading]

lol join the club honey. i think most of us feel like that.

what's up? *cuddles*

[littlelou]

nothing n everything same old rubbish. not that its important. was just having a mad moment when posted that dont know why i did

[Casper_Fading]

i'm glad you did. *cuddles you tightly* thinking of you :)

[Merc]

thinkingof you too
[and also glad you poted!]
i hope you can find it to say morre because YOU are priority, just as important as eeryone else, ireally mean that!!
And sadly, jess s right, most of us feel the very same way. so at least we would understand if you wanted to talk more right?

thinking of you
romp

[littlelou]

sorry was just thinking out loud last night. definatley not drinking again ever. going to stick to that this time.

thanks for the replies.

your tat looks very cool whats it a pic of.

[riley.]

lou, its easy to get into the habbit of holding back, but you're free to talk here.
Trust is a big step to take but you dont have to handle things alone.
I hope you might feel safer and more able to share what you want/need to. Take your time and know you're cared for x

[Casper_Fading]

*cuddles* hon, don't shut us out. Everyone needs at least one place they can come and go... **** I CAN'T DO IT! And this is that one and only place for so many of us. *cuddles*

[littlelou]

guess its just hard cos ive never really talked about how i feel. ive been referred to the psychotherapies people here and had an initial assessement with them to see what they could do for me. it meant talking about a lot of things that ive not spoken about for years and brought back a long of memories and stuff with it. i was having enough trouble dealing with things that are happening now in my life and now ive got all the old stuff to. guess my usual coping mechanisms werent working and i cut again after at least year if not longer.

sorry

[Casper_Fading]

STOP APOLOGISING! >.< lol honey it's okay! we want you to post! you need to post from the sounds of it.

Give the psych guys a call back and tell them what's going on for you. WHen you talk about stuff you've buried in the past it is bound to overwhelm you. *cuddles* you can't get through it alone though, that's why we're here :)

[littlelou]

im seeing them again tomorrow for the second part of the assessment then there's a waiting. its totally **** that they drag up loads of stuff then you wont actually get any help for months.

was at my dr yesterday and they've up my antidepressants even more. she thinks i should have been more open than i actually was with them. figure tomorrow i'll tell them how im really doing as last time i didnt really talk about feelings. it was all just facts and i can talk about the facts of my past cos ive gotten quite good at detaching when i have to talk about

[Casper_Fading]

you need to tell them Tell them what happened and let them know that you've been affected quite drastically by this process. And it's not just for you, how many others have had the same problems, but no one has ever said anything to them??? *cuddles*

[littlelou]

supose your right. dreading going in there tomorrow. i actually like the woman thats done this assessment she seems really nice only prob is that it might not be her and could end up someone else i end up working with.
maybe if i tell her ive been thinking bout driving my car off the road so it does look deliberate might get seen quicker.

hey ho will see what happens

[Casper_Fading]

just be honest with them honey! *cuddles* good luck

[littlelou]

i know that we're all here for the same thing amber but sometimes its harder to talk about things with someone younger. maybe its cos ive got a younger brother and was told when i was younger that i had to look after him so makes me feel like i should be there for others.

sorry if what i said bothered you didnt mean for it too. it was a drunken ramble i know that young people have good opinions and make great contributions

[Casper_Fading]

*cuddles lou* honey, talk to us okay??? and don't stress!!! *gives lots of hugs*