How long was it till you farted infront of your partner???

[Margo]

Well?

I find that the first "openly heard" fart infront of a partner is the first sign that the two of you are completely comfortable with eachother. cus when you first meet there seems to be this unwritten rule that you both try to fool eachother that neither of you actually have any toiletary needs what so ever. A wee is okay, but NEVER a poo and certainly not a fart!

But my god havent you just sat there with your cheeks clenched sooooo tight and the blood vessels in the backs of your eyes ruptiring holding that lil bubble of methane in, wishing they would suddenly need to leave the room or that you need to run off to the car to get "something" to simply releave yourself outside and release that fart, waving your hand behind you so that it doesnt follow you thru the door and back into the room....?


Well i have anyways.....


Ofc once the fart bubble has been brocken so to speak, then its like a licence to conduct an orchesta of rectal gas! The pair of you farting like theres no tomorrow. Pulling the duvet over the others head and trying to kill them by intoxication....etc etc...

So i was just wondering how long was it before you started farting infront of your partner?

[Casper_Fading]

errr.... probably about 6 months :P he didn't wait hahahahaha

[sparklyshoes]

Never :P I don't even fart in front of my family

[effervescence]

hehe.
it was probably like 3 months or something with my ex.

[Aidee]

I haven't the foggiest idea. Not something I keep track of. We've also never tried to kill each other with methane intoxication and a duvet either....must be a Brit thing...

[Casper_Fading]

anthony's tried to kill me.... i swear... when he drinks home brew (his friends brew their own beer) it's toxic.... He farts and whole countries die... they don't need an atomic bomb... just let anthony loose! hahahaha

[Coppelia]

Sounds like Steve. I've watched him clear rooms, it's amazing. We've been farting in front of each other since we first met. And laughing about it!

[PropheticStar]

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Why wait?

:D

[Voldemort]

I fart in front of everyone. =]

My housemate came into my room last night to fart. She's mean to me. =[

[little-elf]

Haha I don't think it was long, although I wouldnt go for a poo the first time I stayed over his house lol

[GrimmFaerieTale]

I still maintain to my boyfriend that girls don't poo or fart, anyone who tells him they do lies :-p

[Aidee]

Ween!!!!!! TMI!!! TMI!!!

[Heidi Tiger]

Ha I have the whole farting during sex thing too. I was mortified at first but now I just find it amusing.
Luke will fart in front of me but the other night I fell asleep really quickly for about 20 minutes, then woke to discover Luke wasn't there. Went downstairs only to hear him farting in the bathroom because "he didn't want to wake me"!

[Daryl]

I allways aim for her head for maximum methane intake.


works a treat.

[UbermoronicismAgain]

I had a whole reply until I read Irenes reply!

I can only think of one thing now. What was he doing to make you puke?!?!?! Both Ded and I have had several theories but would like to hear it!

Ok, so I don't know how long it was exactly but anyone who has met us knows that it's no holds barred and pretty much always has been.
We fart AT each other, on each other, under the duvet killings are continuous in our household! And we're not ashamed.
Yes.

x

[bobidrawpictures]

Ha I have the whole farting during sex thing too. I was mortified at first but now I just find it amusing.
Luke will fart in front of me but the other night I fell asleep really quickly for about 20 minutes, then woke to discover Luke wasn't there. Went downstairs only to hear him farting in the bathroom because "he didn't want to wake me"!


Not just as I didn't want to wake you it was as I'm a good person :p

[UbermoronicismAgain]

Lol.
Never understood the stigma of farting. It's just what humans do!
And burping. Burping hasn't been mentioned. We have burping competitions. Not something we decide on, just if someone burps you have to beat it!

I love my Dedly :)
x

[sparklyshoes]

Now burping I'm a bit lethal with. I find burping funny and I do it so much I forget when is and when isn't an appropriate time for a big burp!

[Casper_Fading]

omg... i am STILL chuckling at ween's reply...

[Queen Crabbit]

I'm not exactly sure how long it was with my ex. Probably about the third/fourth time we met, but that would've been about 2/3 months from when we first met?

[squirrelspit]

I fart infront of Gem all the time, sometimes on her head. she hates it.

she never farts infront of me.. sometimes she does really loudly in her sleep though.

[samshine]

I think it was about 3 months, but I haven't looked back since. My husband tells me I burp like an angry bear though! My husband is the only person I do this in front of, but he thinks I could go pro!

[Misunderstood.]

I'm hopeless with remembering timescales but I do remember it was really funny. Heh,..yeah. A classy memory for sure,..I don't think - Lol..

[irkeninvader]

Probably took me about a year of us being together before I farted in front of him and I still don't do it very often... He's never been ashamed/embarassed/inhibited about it though!

[PropheticStar]

*snorts*

[Casper_Fading]

omg erin... you're snorting weens' fart? that's some seriously kinky ****.... hahahaha

[*faerie-dust*]

I've been with my boyfriend 3 months and haven't farted in front of him yet. He has though, the first time he stayed at mine he woke me up with a massive one (fart, that is...)

Seriously. To say it was loud does not even begin to cover it. It was a proper duvet lifter. He was mortified, I just found it hilarious!

[Casper_Fading]

*giggles* oh dear, lmao!

[Margo]

Course, farting on people is the best, especially when it rattles round their nether regions.

;D

That wasn't a partner though, so it's different.

Referring to the first time we met and you snuggled up in your knickers to spoon me, shoved your buttocks into my crotch and let rip causing my winky to vibrate and then proceeded to roll around the floor in fits of laughter........hmmmm.

^^^^Thats what the Public school system teaches you!




LMAO, she loves me.

But that reminds me of another story which I think the original poster should relate.

:D

Are you referring to the story i told you about an ex of mine?

Well, id been seein this girl for quite a while and farting had become part of everyday activity between the two of us by now, but there was this one night.........
I was on my side with my back facing her and she rolled over to spoon me. I could feel a rumble in my tummy and i knew i was going to squeeze cheese so i let it out. Im not quite sure to this day how it happened but some how by spooning me she had managed to create a perfect air tight seal between the two of us. In doing so it appears that a perfect channel that went from my bottom to between her boobies had been created and this was the only possible place for the wind to travel. Unfortunately for her when i farted the wind travelled right up between her boobs at the exact moment she yawned and this resulted in her swallowing my entire fart >.<......Needless to say i was hit several times quite brutally, screamed a an she didnt speak to me for 3 days! (how was i to know)



There was another time also when i was at uni and i had just discovered the delights of lighting my farts! Oh joy of joys!

Anyways i was fooling around in the bedroom and i called my partner in to watch my amazing inferno bottom trick! For added effect i decided to try the trick stark naked! (NOT WISE!)

She tood there with a less than impressed look on her face as i excitedly told her to "watch this" and i then pulled up my legs over my head, held the lighter to my bottom and farted. OMFG!!!

All i heard was this roar like that of the afterburners from a jet plane followed by the most terrible burning sensation, followed by the unmistakable aroma of burning hair.

From my partners point of view what she saw was me light the lighter, fart and this jet of fire shoot out about a foot from my bum an then it formed a backdraft and sucked itself back up my bum >.<

She was almost chocking in tears with laugher while i rolled around the bed screaming and patting my ass to make sure there was no more fire!




Dont try that at home kids!

*runs off from TMI attack*

[PropheticStar]

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Duffer44]

HAHAHA who hasn't set a fart on fire naked? it was to much fun to turn down when i was 16 and it was fun till the burn kicked in.

I waited a week before farting in front of lizzie but shes the one who has the deadly farts (shes so going to kill me) and she takes pleasure from trying to gas me using the fan to blow it into my face ><

[Casper_Fading]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

[Casper_Fading]

YouTube - never trust a woman

[riley.]

at least she didnt **** on the sofa :/

[Casper_Fading]

heh heh heh

[Anthonio]

Hmmmm....

Reminds me of the time Lou sat on my head and farted in my face while I was asleep one night, just because I was "snoring" (she even recorded it as 'proof' but you can't hear diddly). That was the first time she caused me to wake up gagging.

I still have yet to exact my revenge for that one. I was giving thought to first scoffing a pound of raw pastry and washing it down with a pint of cabbage water...
Come to think of it, I never got her back for the second time either...

[Casper_Fading]

hahahaahhahahaha she sounds like a fantastic woman!

[jellytot]

about 10 mins haha i'm, serious ...

[Mrs Sam]

i waited until i needed one. probably about an hour. i'm not shy like that. me and my friends fart infront of each other often and then either comment on them or laugh.

i do the best ones first thing on a morning. they sound like im playing a tune sometimes and once one lasted about 10 seconds. it was legendary. me and simon still talk about that one.

my brother is the best though, he can clear rooms on christmas day after sprouts.

matthew your stories made me proper belly laugh!

[Casper_Fading]

next question should be: how long till you farted ON your partner :P

[Margo]

Farting on eachother usually enters the fray when wrestling becomes involved. Its one of those dirty tricks that always sneak in like biting and tickling.

I also love doing the "lull you into thinking im cuddling you fart". Get her thinkin you are being all extra nice and lovely and then unleash bottom hell. Muhahaha

[Dramatic]

I have felt so **** the past few days,
and this thread..has actually had me in tears of laughter.
Certainly the perfect remedy for a smile.
Eleutheros & Ninjapenguin - seriously, your stories had me nearly wetting myself. Ahaha.

Hmmm. I know the first time i was with my ex i didn't fart. I think on the second meet i did though, but i never truely felt comfortable with it until 3 months or so in when i..er..really let rip, ahaha.
My ex used garlic in everything he cooked, he was a garlic freak, then used to complain at why my farts used to stink! ER hello don't put a whole bulb of garlic in every meal then you plonker, haha.
I always lay on my tummy as the computer is at the end of my bed, and he always hated laying on his tummy..so when i used to fart..he got the full brunt of it ;)

[Casper_Fading]

I also love doing the "lull you into thinking im cuddling you fart". Get her thinkin you are being all extra nice and lovely and then unleash bottom hell. Muhahaha

Anthony (fiance) does that... cheeky bastard >.< But it's funny cause now i can tell when he's going to do it, so i pull the doona over his head and make him choke on it :hehe:

[Anthonio]

my brother is the best though, he can clear rooms on christmas day after sprouts.

With a bit of practice he will one day learn to arscend beyond this level and attain that of actual vomit-induction.

After years of believing this to be nothing more than a mere methane-related myth I had a sudden and accidental result during a cab ride home from the pub one night. Within 10 seconds the driver had pulled over and vacated the vehicle. Within another 5 he realised what was unfolding in the back and opened the doors, and not a second too soon - the last two friends to evacuate the cab promptly evacuated the nights imbibery!

As I involuntarily walked the remainder of the journey, I pondered the cause and could only come to the conclusion that it had to be alcohol-induced state of my unwitting victims. Two years of experimentation were to follow without success and I was on the verge of abandoning my quest as a fruitless folly. That was until my best mate came into the workshop on a day off, box of greasy fried chicken and can of beer in hand. Not only was he sick but continued to heave solidly for a full 15 minutes and burst blood vessels around his eyes.

He always blamed the fact that he'd had a bit of a skinfull, until a couple of years ago...

Whilst helping him to board his loft, he disappeared downstairs to get coffee and smokes. Upon his return his head cleared the loft hatch, he took one breath and that was it - another 15 minutes cuddling porcelain!
Just to cement this as more than a mere fluke, I recently got him again, to the hilarity of everyone we work with.

So, Jess, be sure to tell your brother that with a little perseverence, and enough junk food, the seemingly impossible CAN be achieved. :sohappy:

[Anthonio]

Oh, and if he's still allowed to eat sprouts at christmas he may have some way to go - I was banned by my family from having them years ago! lol

[Margo]

Eeew, i actually feel sick!
Thats just ...........NOT RIGHT! >.<

[Anthonio]

Thats just ...........NOT RIGHT! >.<

Funnily enough, my best mate keeps saying those exact same words! :laugh:

I'm sure I must emit nitrous oxide as well, because every time it happens I can't help but piss myself laughing.

[whoops]

just to jump in here... this thread is going to ruin me... i have a newish other half and have yet to burp, let alone anything else infront of them, but how everytime we are together and i get the urge, i think of this thread and think "now, now is the time to do it, get it over and done with..." and then i start giggling and thinking of penguins... and then i have to explain myself for the random laughter.

it is not good. it is not good at all.

[Margo]

haha Dom.

Aww Jennie thats really cute. :)

God are you two in for a shock! Do the Japanese frown upon passing wind?

You MUST tell us when you do the deed!

[UbermoronicismAgain]

Dedly is wholely banned from brussel sprouts, he too acehived heaving status on our first xmas. He lived above the pub he ran when I met him and the room was bad enough (23yr old boy, living alone for the first time...you can do those there mathematics) but when he unleashed the, what can only be described as, poison I dry heaved for a good 10 minutes? and I never let him eat them again unless it was HOURS before we were likely to be anywhere near an enclosed room.
Now he's just full-on banned.
Never allowed.
Ever.

I must say his bottom is lethal without them >.<

x

[Casper_Fading]

omg omg omg... dom... i have tears... i am laughing so hard.

I think the worst one from Anthony was when we'd been at his mates and they drank an awwwwwwwwwwful lot of home brewed beer and anthony was off his face... that night.... well... it woke me up from the sound and THEN the smell... OMG! It was about 2 degrees outside and I was hanging out the window dry heaving as if there was no tomorrow. HALF AN HOUR later.... I pulled my head in and the smell was STILL there >.< OMG! It was the rankest thing ever! >.< Even he was slightly disturbed by the smell.... lol

[CaiteeBug]

:rollfloor: :rollfloor: