I hate my sister *Updated*

[Collateral*Damage]

I finally told my sister that I've been cutting and she was really not helpful. I pretty much knew she wouldn't react well but I thought this time might be different. Surely this time she would see that I am really hurting and would give me the comfort I am desperate for. Not a chance! And the stupid thing is I'm mad at myself. Not only was I dumb enough to think she would be nice, I was dumb enough to reveal something horribly, painfully personal. And who did I take it out on? ME! Yep, get mad at her yet I'm the one who's bleeding. So I'm even more stupid because I can't even direct my anger to the right place. I am so ****ing stupid!!!!! I guess I don't really hate my sister. I just hate me...

[blondiebear]

Please, you don't have to hurt yourself over this. Even though it is so frustrating when family does not understand.

If being around and talking to your family is not safe, then keep yourself safe!

Right now I'm separating from my parents. I understand what it is like. But I really don't need their toxic attitudes and toxic emotions and all of the junk that they aim at me.

[Snorkmaiden]

I know how easy it is to direct your anger inward when you feel it towards someone else. You need an outlet for your emotions but you don't want to take it out on others. I'm sorry you felt driven to hurt yourself when you were only looking for support. Things will get better, take care of yourself xx

[newanda]

What you did was not a stupid thing at all. I don't know if it's anything like this, but i HATE keeping secrets from my mom and my sisters. We get along really good and it just feels like i'm cheating them by not telling them the truth. So, i don't think it's stupid at all to tell your sister.

Usually, relationships that are based on truth will flourish, while ones based on lies will not. If you tell the truth and the relationship ends, then that person itsn't affording you the understanding and support that anyone, regardless of the circumstances, deserves. Remember too, that sometimes we get the most upset about the people we care most about. She might not have know how to react to that situation.

Try not to be mad at yourself. It took a lot of courage to talk to her and you should be proud that you were able to do it.

[Collateral*Damage]

I talked to my sister some more today and she has now asked me if I've been evaluated for OCD or ADD because of my "compulsion". She also wants to know how often I've been injuring and where. I told her I wasn't going to discuss it with her but it made me regret all over again that I ever told her. I guess I'll just have to deal with it but I really do have enough going on and this is one thing I JUST DON'T NEED! On a good note, her comments and questions did not make me want to harm myself. Somehow that doesn't help...

[chocostashchick]

hmmm
well, at least your sister cares somewhat, right? she wouldn't have talked about it and asked you those questions if she didnt care about you. it sounds like she wants to know if you are getting help and how you are physically doing, and she wouldn't ask about that if she didn't want you to be okay and get better. so that's a good thing, a really good thing. it may not manifest itself in the best way, but she cares about you for sure.

please don't be mad at yourself. what you did was a really good thing. it is brave and good to open up and be honest with people. if they react badly, that is their fault and not yours. their reaction is theirs, not yours, and you are not to blame for it hun.

how are you doing now?

xxxooo callie

[hoping_one day]

I really feel for you hon. I know how hard it is to open up to family members. A lot of mine still don't know after 8 years.
I think the only advice I could give would be that you've known about this for a long time and have had chance to imagine the type of response you wanted.
Your sister had no right to make you feel bad about telling her, and I'm sorry that happened, but what is worth considering is she has had no time to think about this as you have. It came as a shock and she perhaps didn't react the way you'd hoped but I am sure she cares.
She has taken the first step by asking you these questions. You were so brave to tell her, perhaps now you can try to answer her.
SI is a very difficult thing to understand unless you are personally involved. The only way people will understand is if we try and help them and I'm no expert on this myself!
Perhaps just try to thank her for her questions and say you will answer them but in your own time, and just ask her for now, if she'll give you a hug and be your sister.
Thinking about you hon. PM me anytime, anytime at all.

*hug*