Did I do the right thing *verbal abuse*

[Casper_Fading]

So Wednesday night last week my fiance's sister (my fiance was away) comes into my room and says "i think i just dumped aaron". That's her boyfriend (ASSHOLE). Now I spent the night from 11pm till 4 am looking after her while she and he text each other (he normally lives here with us but was away for the week) and he said some really horrible things. Such as "you're a f*ckwit" *don't threaten me with no sex i'll f*ck you whenever I want* They've never actually had intercourse just the touching and stuff. And one of my absolute faves *the only reason you want to break up with me is so you can sleep with all my mates* so not only is he an asshole. He's an arrogant asshole he kept saying *you know i'm the best boyfriend you'll ever have. YOu'll never get anything better or bigger than me". ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOLE! Anywho, on with the saga. I let mel borrow my phone to ring me because she wanted to talk and they talked for an hour and when she hung up on him she was so angry and was ready to start packing up his things. Then he kept messaging her to ring back so I said fine, you have 20 minutes. He went from being a prick to the whole sobby voice and 20 minutes later she said "bye hun we'll sort it out whe you get back." I was like... WHAT!!! So anyways, that was it. He didn't come back when he was supposed to (friday) becasue there was a party he wanted to go to. He come back saturday night and straight away she lets him back into her bed. Now last night I walked into the loungeroom just after he got home and I just looked at him. I didn't say anthing, I looked and walked past and he goes "fuuuuuucking hell" at me. I just ignored him.

Anyways, today (just a little while ago) anthony (my fiance) went and talked to Mel (boyfriend is out again) and she told him that it was all fine now and everything was fixed. He told me.. i was like... WHAT?!?!?!?! I said if she's going to continue to defend him i'll tell you what he said. I had promised Mel I wouldn't becasue I assumed she'd have the common f*cking sense to dump the d*ckhead. But no. So I told him.... Aaron is lucky he was out. Anthony was so angry. As you would be if anyone spoke to your little sister like that! I'd KILL a guy who spoke to my sister(s) like that. And he rang aaron and basically told him to get out. Aaron said you can't get rid of me. So anthony rang his other brother (who aaron use to be friends with) and told him what was said and told him to tell aaron to get out. So yes. Just a moment ago mel stormed out of the house gave me a dagger laden glare and stormed off down the street. I'm assuming aaron is already whining to her about it. It wouldn't have taken long, the stupid pissant.

My worry is that i've done the wrong thing. Should I have broken my word and let it go on? Or did I do the right thing by telling Anthony. The big thing is that aaron has made mel miserable on a regular basis for the past... 4 months or so. But as soon as he gets all teary eyed (could be a professional actor for ****s sake) she gives in and forgives him. So yeah... did I do the right thing?

[fitofdestiny]

You can only try to warn her that that relationship is leading no where good. While I don't think you did anything wrong, I'm also afraid it may not have done anything good. I was in a relationship like that and what I learned is that you never listen to common sense. You just kind of keep going until you reach your breaking point. No matter how much other people try to show you the truth, you prefer to be sucked back in. Good luck with it hon and I'm sure it will work itself out. *hugs*

[blondiebear]

I'm shaking my head in disbelief. What a mess. I think like fitofdestiny that you can't do anything about mel's relationship with aaron.

What you and Anthony can do is make standards of safety for where you live. No violence. No shouting when others are trying to sleep. If those things happen, if aaron is threatening mel with violence, or the other way, then it is a matter of safety and you and anthony can take action.

[chocostashchick]

i think you did the right thing in telling her.
she has the right to make her own decisions, her own mistakes, but at least now you know she is making an informed decision (albeit a rather bad one) and you did what you could.


susan is right, to, that you and anthony can at least set some good standards for your place. i just hope your sister comes around soon and realises what a horrible person that aaron is.
xxxooo

[pea soup]

^^^^^i agree.
there is only so much that you can allow at your own home.
and your fiance needed to know how his sister was being treated.
so yes.....you were right.
much love.
xxxxxxxxxx

[Casper_Fading]

Anthony has told Aaron that he can't live here for 4 months. Which I think is reasonable. Mel is just saying she is going to keep missing him and that it's going to sort things out but now that he's not living here it's going to take so much longer now that he's apart from her... I said "if being together is what was needed you'd be great! you've been living together from day one!" but yeah... I think space is good for both of them. They've never had any and maybe she'll finally realise what's happening!

Thanks everyone! I went out after I wrote this and talked to my nan's best friend about it and she reminded me of a very important thing.. Mel is only 18 and she's still a kid. She's also use to being the pampered princess (only girl with 5 brothers) and them not ever saying a harsh word to her and her nose is out of joint because anthony put his foot down! So yeah, i'm just treating her like i'd treat my sister and it seems to be okay.

*blows kisses*

[chocostashchick]

that's a good point your nan's friend had
it's good that anthony is setting limits and it will be good for mel to have some space apart and get used to not always having her way!

[Casper_Fading]

Two days and she's still doing the immature stomping around the house thing and not going out in the kitchen until we're not out there. It's actually kinda funny. She's such a child. So I now feel zilch guilt at all. :D

[chocostashchick]

haahahahahahahahahahahahhaaaa
that made me laugh

thanks for making me laugh - i needed that!
yea you definitely don't need to feel bad about this - it's your place so you can set whatever rules you want and if she is so upset she can just leave!

[Merc]

YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are trying to protect a friend from a ,i hesistate to use the word 'person'...your descriptions were mmuuuuccchhh betterlol]
once he gets her under his control..as in living/married with each other...i hope she'll have strong ribs, good makeuop...and big sunglasses.
this THING is itching to rape/hurt her...the tears are utterly manipulative
you ARE doing the right thing hunni...she WILLLLL thank you when she can see straigfht
love ya hunni
whats up w surgery?????
proud of you my love
romp

[Merc]

just wondered what was happening now/????
youre a great friend to have love :o)
love ya hunni
romp

[Casper_Fading]

She's not doing any house work. Wants to be an adult without the responsibilities. Stupid child *rolls eyes*