stupid girl had a slip up

[Sarah C]

had a bit of a slip up last night. had been drinking, argued with my fiance, he threatened to leave me, i threatened to kill myself. He had to anctually prise a scalpel out of my hand. He was terrified and rang my mum, and i just kept crying and howling.

why am i like this now? everything in my life is going so well and yet i always end up back in this place.

I feel so guilty for upsetting him and my mum so much. I feel numb apart from that. The day after i've cut or been this crazy, i always feel this overwhelming calm and peace. Actually, its more like a complete lack of any emotion.

have decided that drinking makes me worse, and i'm gonna stop. i wasn't drunk or anything like that, and i rarely drink these days (maybe we go to the pub once a fortnight??) but am thinking that my moods don't need to be exacserbated with drink.

feel like an idiot. now i've got to go to school and teach a bunch of kids that i've never met and try to feel normal.

[crazykat]

Hey sweetheart
Try not to feel bad, slip ups happen to the best of us. We don't achieve anything by feeling bad about it. I know thats easier said than done tho. Its sounds like maybe things just built up a bit for you yeah? Do you have any support? Someone you can talk to when things get a bit overwhelming? Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over it, slip ups happen. It doesn't make us a failure or stupid tho. Were not perfect all we can do is try. Take care
Kat xxx

[blondiebear]

I teach one class a week and I find by the time I'm in the classroom and set it up, I am feeling normal or at least professional. Part of my current routine is to stick the hem of the sleeve of my short sleeve T-shirt to my arm below my marks, that way I know my marks won't be visible.

The last night I drank, my husband had to take a took out of my hand, he had to wrestle it away from me.

You aren't stupid. That is what we SIers do. If you know that drink makes it worse, give yourself permission to not drink. If you want the socialization of the pub, just drink a coke or pepsi or something. I drink soda pop at parties and no one thinks anything of it.

Be good to yourself. *gives you a reassuring hug*
Susan

[chocostashchick]

you didn't do anything on purpose so please don't wrack yourself with guilt!
maybe you will feel better and help yourself learn what happened if you talk with your fiance - thank him for being there for you and maybe talk about what was going on before it started so you can pin down what caused it/what triggered it?
hey way to go for figuring out that drinking may enhance the effects and deciding to stop it! are you on any meds? if so, alcohol does interfere with a lot so that could be part of the problem
good luck teaching today hun! last night sounded like an intense and not-fun experience so i hope you feel better and can get some help
xxxooo Callie