bullying becomeing a sub forum?

[[Purple_Rain]]

hey

i was wondering if it could be considered? changeing the A+B forum into just an abuse forum with bullying as a sub forum?

my reasons for asking are:

the large majority of the posts in the A+B forum are about sexual abuse. this means that people wanteding to post threads about bullying are put off, mainly with the thought 'i havent had it as bad as them' (i am not the only one that thinks this.)
as the large majority are SA threads, bullying threads often get lost quickly therefore dont get many replies.
people who want to post bullying threads often will want to help other people, but dont feel able to as they dont know how to support SA victims, therefore they wotn post at all becuase they would feel guilty.
victims of bullying often feel out of place in teh A+B forum due to the majority of posts being about abuse.
haveing a bullying sub forum means support for bullying and abuse could become alot better (not that it isnt good already)just an idea. would be great to know what you think.

liz

[Psychedelic Doodle Pop]

:/

I come from a completely different point of view really, I would hate bullying to be a sub forum because it is abuse and some things fit under an abuse heading rather than a bullying heading. I mean, things you could call both bullying and abuse. I dunno. I don't know what I mean. I'm interested to see what other people thing though.

[Psychedelic Doodle Pop]

Ok, I hadn't been to the A+B forum for a while, and now I ghave I see what you mean. It is over run by sexual abuse. Maybe it would good to have a sexual abuse sub forum. Things like the trauma and grief subforum feel related too. Maybe it would be good to have a Trauma forum as the main forum and then sub forums for different sorts of abuse (sexual etc).

[[Purple_Rain]]

that would be a good idea too. i dont know which would be the best for the site/easiest to achieve htough. or even if anything will be changed.

ah well, just an idea, and like you i would be interested to see what others think.

[Kaytii]

i think that maybe splitting it into just abuse & sexual abuse would seem...discriminative to a forum? :bleh:

having like...5 sub-categorys may help (bullying, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse & neglect) and would also help prevent people being triggered.

Also, bullying as a sub-category on it's own may be a good idea, however it could cause confusion.

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

*nods* I agree with liz.

[Snow White.]

Having looked into the Abuse & Bullying Support forum myself, and seeing the amount of *sexual abuse trigger* labels on threads - I can certainly see what you mean and think this is a very valid point. I shall bring it to the rest of the moderators/Harley's attention and direct them to this thread.

[Popple]

I think its a good idea

xx

[Zedebee]

Maybe it would be good to have a Trauma forum as the main forum and then sub forums for different sorts of abuse (sexual etc).



having like...5 sub-categorys may help (bullying, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse & neglect) and would also help prevent people being triggered.

Also, bullying as a sub-category on it's own may be a good idea, however it could cause confusion.


I say stick these two ideas together and you get something rather magical =)

[Psychedelic Doodle Pop]

That's what I meant, what Kaytii said, I'm not very articulate.

[typsee]

interesting idea!

One of hand, seperating each area of abuse and bullying into their own seperate sub-forum (such as subforums for sexual abuse, physical abuse, bullying, emotional abuse & grief) , will help create a specific, specialised place for threads of a certain topic, hence other threads that tend to dominate the A&B forum currently (such as the sexual abuse threads), wont end up pushing these other threads off the first page, members will feel more welcome to post their threads about non-popular topics, and also people can prevent themselves from being triggered by threads that they dont wish to view.

But on the otherhand, I do foresee a problem with creating all these subforums -> there will be alot less people visiting and reading the threads in these sub-forums (such as bullying and physcial abuse) because they just dont seem to be as much as in issue for RYLers as is the topic of sexual abuse. Maybe this has just been because people havent felt comfortable in posting their threads about these other less popular topics, and if this is the case, then sub-forums devoted to these specific issues, should help with this.

But the fewer threads about these topics (such as bullying), may also mean that there just arent as many people who have problems with this issue, which may mean that if more subforums are created, then we may not get many people visiting and using these other forums ... which means fewer people reading and replying to these threads.

At least now with the combined Abuse and Bullying forum, those bullying threads that get posted in the A&B forum, will get seen and read by more people, and therefore, there is a rub-off effect in the replies that these bullying threads receive.

But if bullying (and other forums of abuse) are seperated into their own subforum, will they get enough people reading and replying to these threads, or will people be bypassing these forums altogether because it isnt relevant to them?

These are my concerns.

So I can see advantages and disadvantages with these ideas ... but its definitely worth considering and talking about, and when Harley returns, we will mention these ideas to him and see what he thinks.

[Aidee]

Thats what worries me also Typsee, even though there are predominately sexual abuse posts, it doesn't appear that the A&B forum moves very quickly. I know I don't post there at all but I poked around after seeing this post. I think even spitting it once into Sexual Abuse in one forum, and everything else in another would slow the everything else forum to a halt.

[Kaytii]

But if bullying (and other forums of abuse) are seperated into their own subforum, will they get enough people reading and replying to these threads, or will people be bypassing these forums altogether because it isnt relevant to them?

i think that because of the huuuuuge amount of people on RYL, there will be poeple replying to the threads in each sub-forum, especially seeing as most of the users that post in Abuse/Bullying have at some point posted in the safe room, which helps bring the abuse board together like a mini family, meaning that nearly all threads get a number of replys with good advice/support in them...

*just m'thoughts =]

[[Purple_Rain]]

just wondering if any more thought had been given to this?

[Bitter_Angel]

If they where split up, i could see it becoming a very difficult area to support in. Yes it is true that people who have been through sexual abuse are more likly to offfer the right words to others, but you also have to look at it at how triggering that area would be for some people. I think that to split the forum, reply rates would drop hugley.

I think it would be intresting to get the views of some of the supporters on this area as they tend to have a lot more insight on reply rates.

Whilst i see what your getting at about losing the posts about bullying and such, im not sure if this is the way to go about it.

Perhaps it might be worth writting a new thread (with the possiblity of it being stickied) about reply rates and such. Perhaps a thread about you should post even if you feel your problem is not a big as others, because if it bothers you then it is obviously a problem and you deserve help and support just as much as anyone else. (if you get what I mean)

You also have to think of quality of replies over quantity. It is better long term to have one good reply to a thread than a few replies with things like yeah i realte hugs. etc.

Are you wanting to increase the replies for the bullying threads? Perhaps it would be a good idea to also draft up some guidelines abot how to post. For example, if you have a specfic question, ask it. Update threads instead of making new ones if the need fits. Be clear, use paragraph to make it easier to read. ect ect.
The same can be done with how to reply to difficult posts. Things like link to other useful information and areas, answer any questions, be supportive. If you get what i mean.

I think that it is good that you want to increase the reply rates for the bullying threads and such, but personally, I dont think it is a good idea to split the forum.

[ladybug]

personally i think its fine how it it because people do lable them if there gunna trigger anything so everyone can pick and chose what they read.

just my opinion.

[annihilate_me]

I think that's a great idea. It would help out a lot of people who feel threatened entering the Abuse and Bullying Forum.

[((deleted))]

With regards to the sub-forum idea- what do you do if your problem fits into more than one of the sub-forums?

[[Purple_Rain]]

post in which ever one it fits best? or two seperate posts? i wasn tthinkign of spliting up the abuse, becuase i knwo that often there is more than oen type of abuse, jsut the bullying. becuase i dotn think bullyign (school/work/freinds) often crosses into the abuse side of things? though it is abuse i know. ack i know what i mean i jsut cant explain it.

and the dreamless loser, i thought it migth be a good idea to split it not beucause people get triggered, thats goign to happen in any support forum, just the large number of sexual abuse triggers often put peopel off form posting about anyhting else.

[Mimsy]

Just my two pence worth...
I was bullied really heavily, but I would never even dream of posting in an abuse and bullying forum. In comparison to the word abuse I dont think I qualify.

[[Purple_Rain]]

^^ thats my feeling too. bullied for 11 years, ranging from veyr bad to my first suicide attempted, btu i still woudltn feel comfertable posting in A + B because i have never been sexually abused. i know you cant really compare the two things, and that we shoudlnt, but we cant help it ca we?

[((deleted))]

Whilst i see what your getting at about losing the posts about bullying and such, im not sure if this is the way to go about it.

Admittedly i've only been using the A+B forum for about a month, but the forum moves so slowly as it is, bullying posts are not being 'pushed off' the bottom of the forum. Also, the bullying posts on the forum would appear to have less responses than the sxab posts because the original poster doesn't go back to update/reply as often.


You also have to think of quality of replies over quantity. It is better long term to have one good reply to a thread than a few replies with things like yeah i realte hugs. etc.

From experience, as someone who has been bullied and sexually abused, i would rather have 5 or 6 replies telling me that people can relate and hugging me, than one longer post(although it may hold more practical advice).
This is mostly because of the loneliness and isolation i feel as a result of all this.

And isn't one of the aims of this site to reassure people that they aren't alone?

Just my two pence worth...
I was bullied really heavily, but I would never even dream of posting in an abuse and bullying forum. In comparison to the word abuse I dont think I qualify.

this is your mind set huni. Bullying is a form of abuse, even if people tend to differentiate between the two, same as sexual abuse is a form of bullying.

Please don't feel that your problems are any less valid as anyone elses (i know i used to) and post in the forum as much as you need- i will reply to your posts.

;552477']^^ thats my feeling too. bullied for 11 years, ranging from veyr bad to my first suicide attempted, btu i still woudltn feel comfertable posting in A + B because i have never been sexually abused. i know you cant really compare the two things, and that we shoudlnt, but we cant help it ca we?

Babe, you can help it. i see where you are coming from but, please, this is a point of view/mind set(whatever you want to call it) and is not fact. Your problems are as valid as those of anyone else, and i will support you.

If there is anyone reading this thread, who has been bullied and does not feel able to post in the A+B forum, then please don't hesistate to PM me if you need support/to talk to someone.

[((deleted))]

Actually, i've just decided, i am going to start a thread in the A+B forum to support those who have been bullied (no sexual abuse), so please come and post in the thread if you feel you cannot post a thread on the main board.

*cuddles everyone*

[abba12]

i think that seperating it into the 4 forums and then maybe a general for the safe room and non-triggering threads (like grounding advice and things) would be great. almost all of my threads are about sexual abuse, however, the forum these days does move slowly enough that i could, and most likely would, visit those other forums to offer support.

I myself was bullied to the point of being afraid to go to school, I had to be homeschooled. But I won't post about that side of things in the forum because against my other posts it seems like nothing, even though it was the cause for much of it.

[Caru y Nos]

How about keeping abuse and bullying under one roof (as it were), but making it so there are subcategories to the left which will then 'search' to narrow down to the specifics. I don't know how to get my idea across, so i'll draw a trusty diagram:

Forums > Abuse and Bullying > ...

...so far this is how its already set out, with everything there. But the a + b forum could then allow the member to further narrow down what is relevant to them. So the a or b sections are seperated if the user so wishes. This could be applied to as many labels that you wish to be placed upon the thread. Therefore, theoretically solving the problems which both sides of the arguement are facing. a + b will move at its current rate or speed up with time; while those wishing to post about non-sexual abuse, don't feel as overwhelmed or not as important!!!

My idea is difficult to explain but it will rely on people labeling their thread as whatever sub-category is relevant, and there could be a system where people viewing can flag incorectly labelled threads.

The 'traffic' may move slowly (as usual) at first, but people will feel more open as those in similar circumstances will be reading threads which will not make them feel as isolated!!! Implimenting this idea would be most effective by encouraging people to label as whatever required field(s) you decide upon.

Otherrwise, splitting a+b has my categorical support!!!