Hey_Delilah
19-02-2018, 01:22 AM
Wow, RYL, it has been a few years since we last spoke. New me, new username, still with the same old bad habits. I’m definitely too old for this - god, I even remember when we were “RuinYourLife.” So, here I am back again. A lot has changed, I’ve done some great stuff, I’ve bagged some diagnoses and I’ve made some good decisions and some terrible ones. Hell, I even got my doctorate! I’m great at what I do, I get told how talented I am, the whole nine yards.
It’s still. Just. Not. Enough.
It’s the same old story, I get ‘better’ for a while, then the walls cave in again. I’m struggling. I just can’t hold it together and I can’t stick to healthy coping strategies. My finger is just never far away from the self-destruct button, but I do so well at hiding it all. I hold down a good job, and the sense of responsibility means I won’t just let myself totally fall apart. Good in some ways, bad in others.
Anyway, I just wanted to drop in. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but for some reason this seemed the place to go even after all of these years.
It’s still. Just. Not. Enough.
It’s the same old story, I get ‘better’ for a while, then the walls cave in again. I’m struggling. I just can’t hold it together and I can’t stick to healthy coping strategies. My finger is just never far away from the self-destruct button, but I do so well at hiding it all. I hold down a good job, and the sense of responsibility means I won’t just let myself totally fall apart. Good in some ways, bad in others.
Anyway, I just wanted to drop in. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but for some reason this seemed the place to go even after all of these years.