This Life

[meag2301]

Normally I'm not one to make the posts, normally I'm just one to read them, and sit by thinking to myself that I'm not alone. But f*ck, am I struggling. Everyone said it's supposed to get easier as you get older, but I'm really not sure if that's the case anymore. Divorced. Trip to the psych ward. Cutting more than ever. It really seems to be f*cking looking up.

[Eir]

It doesn't in my experience, you just get stronger and wiser.
Even tho you're struggling, you are still getting by. You're not dead. Would your younger self have survived your current situation? Most likely not, because they wouldn't have the experience of dealing with things that you do now.
Each day is a victory. One more day of proving you WON'T be beaten by this. An amazing victory, when part of your own psyche is the enemy.
We are pretty amazing for dealing with this day in, day out. Even the days when we feel we are not winning the battle, we win by continuing to breathe, to live. So what if we bow to the urge to hurt ourselves. We didn't give up, we didn't give in to the part that says only one way out. We look for another option, the option that is continuing to breathe, to live, in the hope of another happy moment.
And the happy moments eventually come. They may be fleeting at times, but they are worth it. You appreciate them more for the struggles before Them..
Keep fighting. Lean on your supports, even if it's just venting here. Keep breathing, living. You have strength and wisdom, you've made it this far, just keep going.