Need Help Please....

[liveforthemoment]

Kelly and I broke up. I tried to end my life and spent two weeks in the mental ward.

I now have a new apartment in a different city. She told me she hoped my son burned in hell. That's what ended it all. She beat me up.

This is my first night in my apartment and I get spooked really easily so I can't sleep until daylight but I'm so freaking tired.

I have lost my wife and two children. I miss little kaleb so much. I had to block her on FB because she was being so nasty.

My apartment is small and cozy and I like it but my mind is reeling all over the place.

I'm scared. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm exhausted. I'm hurt.

I'm sorry.

[liveforthemoment]

Not many people that I used to know are not here and that scares me.

I have cut and was forced to get stitches. I'm pretty bad off.

My mind can't process what has happened. All the losses. The absolute loneliness. The isolation. It's just me and my cat. He helps some. I have taken pills to sleep but it's not working.

I have nightmares when I do sleep. I want to cut again just to release but my family would be so angry. They have helped me so much.

I am single now after an 8 year relationship and I don't know how to live. My routine has been so disturbed.

I'm so sorry that I'm back in this situation. I need my friends.

[Margo]

Hey Rachael.

That sounds awful. From memory I recall this relationship always being a bit turbulent. I'm sorry it ended so viciously.

I think most in that situation would be shaken up and distressed regardless of their mental health.

The most important thing right now is to get your support team around you to keep you medically as well as you can be and as stable. I hope you have a good worker who can help.

Try and keep busy in the day if you can. Get out and get air; it will help out sleep a little.

I hope you can settle. Take care

Xx

[liveforthemoment]

Thank you.

My sister lives literally 2 minutes away and she came and got me today and we ran errands and then she hung out with me for a while. She is coming again on Friday. Also I am going to the pumpkin patch with her, her husband, and my beautiful niece on Saturday! :) I'm excited about it. Mady (my niece) is 1 1/2 and is so much fun. I have a blast with her.

I know things will get better. I'm feeling a bit better today. I don't like the night time because that's when I get so lonely. I'm going to keep busy.

xxxxx