Family?

[[SundayGirl]]

I live at home with my family. They can be very supportive but my mental health is 24/7 and they often get annoyed at me.
I suffer from depression, bpd, severe anxiety & an ED.
I get told alot that I'm very difficult to live with & my sister especially can't really cope living with me.
I feel like a massive burden.

Everyone is angry at me because of yesterday. It was a very tough day & struggled alot with suicidal thoughts, my mood was rock bottom & I was very nasty. I said something's that I regret.
Today I feel the same, but even worse, like I may hurt myself, because I'm such a horrible, difficult person. I feel like I should give everyone a break & kill myself because I'm nothing but a problem.

I can't tell my family this, they've supported me threw suicide attempts before but the last time I told somebody I'm struggling with general life & don't want to be here I got told to "get on with things".

I don't know what to do.
Living at home makes my feelings of being a problem & low self esteem worse but I don't have the money to leave

[SoDark]

Every family is different but I have found that it took many years before my family accepted me as I am and now they have become very supportive and offer to help when I am struggling. In the past they found me selfish and annoying.

[Too Shy]

That sounds like a really difficult situation, and I can understand how difficult it is living with family sometimes.

Do you know what it is that they are saying is difficult to live with? I know however much I love my family I find it difficult to live with them sometimes - not because of anything they have done but just because it's so difficult when you need your own space!

I don't think you're a burden at all though. It sounds like you had a really difficult day and everybody says things that they regret sometimes. I know this was a few days ago now, how have you been since then? Do things feel any better at home?

It's hard when people don't understand or think you should just 'get on with things', because of course mental health doesn't work that way! It doesn't make you a burden, though, and killing yourself would definitely not be the answer, it sounds like however difficult things are at home your family really love you, and they would be devastated. Could you try and sit down with them (or write down?) how you feel about either, or about what's going on with your mental health so that they can understand it a bit more? Is there anything you can think of that would make it easier at home?

[larahabig]

I can feel your pain, but suicide is not a solution don't try to do this, share your problems with your old school friends and hangout with them, light your mood and take a break and open up with your family, if you want some professional advice than i know a very well experienced online helper that is "Limitless soul". Don't take it too long it will pull you down in black hole spiral.

[ParanormalChickenGeek]

I can really sympathise with you here as I had the exact same issue when I lived at home.
Can you work towards moving out? Going to uni and getting my degree etc to get a decent job to afford to move out definitely focused me on getting on with things as I knew it'd be better in the end.

[[SundayGirl]]

Thankyou all for the advice.

Unfortunately it is impossible for me to move out at the moment.

I feel like if i had some support then things would be more manageable but I dont have any. On good days my family are so supportive but they just cant deal with the bad & i really need them to.

Ive been off work sick for two days due to being unable to cope. Im certain im going to lose my job soon.

:/

[ParanormalChickenGeek]

I'm sorry things are so difficult.

Have you ever had any support previously that you can access again now? Can you go to your GP?
Do you have close friends you can spend some time with away from home?

I hope things improve soon x