DestroyMe
14-06-2015, 06:44 PM
in the last 3 years my partner and I have gone through at least ten living arrangements. I started out [before we met] living with my mothers [now ex-bf]'s daughter. left there and moved in with my partner and his mother and brother as it was not safe for me to live with her anymore. moved out of mother-in-laws place into my own mothers un-used apartment [who leases an apartment, stays in it for 3 months and moves in with a boyfriend? O_o]
ended up not being able to keep up rent and such [which was not the deal. we ended up having to pay anything when we only agreed to pay lights/cable] so end up "legally homeless" which basically means paying a butt-load for hotels for a year.
switched hotels at least 2 separate times. ended up moving back in with his mother for a brief period. then ended up back in hotels. [switched hotels twice]
finally found an apartment that the landlord said we didn't even qualify for [partner didn't make enough and the only reason we could even afford to put a downpayment on is because family sent us money to help out] ended up literally begging for said apartment and getting it because landlord is nice.
we've never been late on any payments rent or otherwise.
we've had to have help with rent since the beginning as even this apartment is too expensive.
our lease is up in three months and because we can't afford this place [or any other place if I am to be frank] and can't afford to piss money away on hotel rooms we're looking for a van to trade the truck in for so we have something we can live in.
I have told friends this, I have told them that we can't afford rent, can barely afford to live on one paycheck [partners. I can't work. and were I to get a part-time job my food stamps would be cut off so instead of helping out with bills with the meager 160$ paycheck I would be getting it would be going towards food.]
and almost ALL of them act like we're just planning on living in a freaking van for shits and giggles.
granted there are a few that really honestly want to help and have since told me which states are most to least expensive.
but in the past month I've gotten responses such as:
"oh just move here [to this states that's forever away distance wise] and get an apartment [which is 600$ in rent and we have zero money to afford that much less money to toss at a downpayment] it's easier!"
"lmao good luck with that"
"traveling is expensive" [no **** thank you for your input -_-]
as well as various condescending unhelpful statements from family [mine] who seem to think that I am still 13 years old and not a 25 year old grown man.
"if you get stuck out there we're not helping you. it's not a good idea to move out of state" [yes because being homeless in this state is clearly so. much. better.]
we have asked around about stuff, like which states are the easiest to afford to live in, which states job market isn't in the toilet and the cost of living/min wage because I need a job [I'll deal with the chronic pain. money is more important them my health right now] and what the apartments and such go for and whether they're affordable. also asked around about a van. as we're weary on putting 1k into the truck when we don't even know what's wrong with it.
and 8/10 times we're met with condescending statements and people we consider "friends" scoffing at this and not being helpful. [literally the people being helpful are out of state and scattered]
my family is zero help, they think that we're doing this for fun [???] and they also seem to fall back on the "well if you just *get a job all your problems will be solved!!1" response despite the fact I've explained to them a part time job doesn't pay hardly anything and all of what my paycheck would be would go towards food and not bills. [meaning my partner would still be paying all of the bills.] and also the fact that I've explained to them that I'm having increasing hip problems because I can't walk properly due to having CP. [I've filed for SSI and been denied SSI. several. times.]
and I'm just beyond sick of people either making light of this or just flat out "oh that's a bad idea"
because yes clearly living on the street is a better idea /sarcasm/
we have three months to find a van before our lease is up or we are screwed and being an adult should not be this stressful. :/
ended up not being able to keep up rent and such [which was not the deal. we ended up having to pay anything when we only agreed to pay lights/cable] so end up "legally homeless" which basically means paying a butt-load for hotels for a year.
switched hotels at least 2 separate times. ended up moving back in with his mother for a brief period. then ended up back in hotels. [switched hotels twice]
finally found an apartment that the landlord said we didn't even qualify for [partner didn't make enough and the only reason we could even afford to put a downpayment on is because family sent us money to help out] ended up literally begging for said apartment and getting it because landlord is nice.
we've never been late on any payments rent or otherwise.
we've had to have help with rent since the beginning as even this apartment is too expensive.
our lease is up in three months and because we can't afford this place [or any other place if I am to be frank] and can't afford to piss money away on hotel rooms we're looking for a van to trade the truck in for so we have something we can live in.
I have told friends this, I have told them that we can't afford rent, can barely afford to live on one paycheck [partners. I can't work. and were I to get a part-time job my food stamps would be cut off so instead of helping out with bills with the meager 160$ paycheck I would be getting it would be going towards food.]
and almost ALL of them act like we're just planning on living in a freaking van for shits and giggles.
granted there are a few that really honestly want to help and have since told me which states are most to least expensive.
but in the past month I've gotten responses such as:
"oh just move here [to this states that's forever away distance wise] and get an apartment [which is 600$ in rent and we have zero money to afford that much less money to toss at a downpayment] it's easier!"
"lmao good luck with that"
"traveling is expensive" [no **** thank you for your input -_-]
as well as various condescending unhelpful statements from family [mine] who seem to think that I am still 13 years old and not a 25 year old grown man.
"if you get stuck out there we're not helping you. it's not a good idea to move out of state" [yes because being homeless in this state is clearly so. much. better.]
we have asked around about stuff, like which states are the easiest to afford to live in, which states job market isn't in the toilet and the cost of living/min wage because I need a job [I'll deal with the chronic pain. money is more important them my health right now] and what the apartments and such go for and whether they're affordable. also asked around about a van. as we're weary on putting 1k into the truck when we don't even know what's wrong with it.
and 8/10 times we're met with condescending statements and people we consider "friends" scoffing at this and not being helpful. [literally the people being helpful are out of state and scattered]
my family is zero help, they think that we're doing this for fun [???] and they also seem to fall back on the "well if you just *get a job all your problems will be solved!!1" response despite the fact I've explained to them a part time job doesn't pay hardly anything and all of what my paycheck would be would go towards food and not bills. [meaning my partner would still be paying all of the bills.] and also the fact that I've explained to them that I'm having increasing hip problems because I can't walk properly due to having CP. [I've filed for SSI and been denied SSI. several. times.]
and I'm just beyond sick of people either making light of this or just flat out "oh that's a bad idea"
because yes clearly living on the street is a better idea /sarcasm/
we have three months to find a van before our lease is up or we are screwed and being an adult should not be this stressful. :/