Auditory commands and sharing with professionals

[Epicene]

I hear voices and it took me a long time to open up about this with my team. They are all very understanding and validating about it but I'm struggling knowing how to share recent experiences, or if I should even share them at all.

I am used to random chattering or commands to hurt myself. Recently though I had a very specific command and impulse to act on it, and it was about hurting someone else. I'm really panicked about this because its never occurred before and because I'd like to think I would never dare hurt anyone. I'm vegan so I'd literally not hurt a fly! Worried this makes me a bad person but I also feel quite alone with it and I don't know who to share it with to help me make sense of it.

[Cacoethes]

The very fact that you're worrying that it makes you a bad person means that you aren't a bad person.

I think it would be helpful if your team knew about this. They might be able to help, it sounds very distressing and they will have dealt with Similar issues before and they're the best people to talk to.
if you are struggling to communicate these thoughts to them can you write it down and give it to them?

[sherlock holmes]

I think these types of commands and thoughts are quite common. I don't hear voices but sometimes I feel strong impulses to do things (like throw something important in the river/off a balcony, push someone over, punch someone etc) yet I know I'd never act on it deep down.

It's good that you recognise you'd likely not act on the command, and as Beckie said I think worrying that you might be a bad person means you're not.

I think it's good to tell your team about this so you can get some support. Have you told your wife?

[Arienette]

Definitely talk about it. It doesn't make you a bad person. I've had similar experiences and acted on it, and it wasn't nice for anyone involved.

And what I remember was v distressing.

It's important to tell people so they know how to help you. In my other post I wrote about having lied about something, it was something related to a similar experience to what you've described and now I feel like I'm in a pickle because I lied and don't know how to correct the lie - bc I was ashamed.

In retrospect I should have told the truth and asked for another Dr so I could bc the Dr involved made me feel like I couldnt. If that makes sense.

If they're being validating and listening definitely tell them- then they can best help you. X

[Bellatrix]

I can empathise with this. Definitely talk about it. You deserve the support x

[Epicene]

Thank you everyone, it's really helped feeling supported with this. I haven't told my wife, no, but I did manage to tell my psychologist (though not exactly what the command was, just that it was to hurt someone). She helped me made sense of why it might have happened and also doesn't believe I would ever hurt anyone, so that's good. I'm just hoping it doesn't happen again because the experience was really unpleasant.

[Arienette]

i'm glad you managed to talk to your psychologist about it.

well done. x

[Steel Maiden]

Well done for telling your psychologist.

I used to get command voices. I managed it sometimes by punching up a pillow for as long as I could last. It didn't stop the voices but it reduced the fear and anxiety surrounding it.