I'm 24 and Feel like time has gone too quickly.

[Kate1990]

Hi,

I'm 24, from the UK and I recently graduated university, I got married and I'm about to move in my new home..all which sounds absolutely great...Buts its not.

I still am looking for a full time job and I just cant find one, I'm applying for anything and everything I can..retail jobs..anything to just get me a little bit of money for now. I don't care if its shop work whilst i'm young I don't mind not having a job in my degree field. but i just need something to get me out of the house and get my mind working as normal.
At the moment I find myself been awake till 6am, and then sleeping in till around 3.30pm so my body clock is all over the place to say the least. I'm up online watching youtube videos and reading blogs about graduates, advice etc or i'm applying for even more jobs.

On top of this I just am in complete panic mode.I'm 25 late october this year - granted its a while yet..but thats just made me panic I know 25 is still really young but..last time I checked i was 19 and it was 2010 and all i can think is how the time has gone so fast..too fast infact. I think what depresses me is that I felt like I wasted 4 years of my life at university where i was stressed out, in debt and unable to go out and enjoy myself as I was snowed under with work.

Now i'm graduated with a degree I just want to be able to go out, let my hair down and have fun with my husband and friends whilst I'm young and now that I finally have time to do so. But I had a bit of a lecture from a 40 year old family friend how that at 21 he had a mortgage and how he wasn't going out anymore. and became this 'family man' .Which just made me feel bad..Like so at 21 are you saying your sell by date is up? this seemed ridiculous to me, but also set in more panic and anxiety more and it seems I have lately become a bit obsessed with the fear of getting older on top of everything else I was worrying about.

Its safe to say I am a bit of a mess at the moment and I think it could be depression and anxiety all rolled in to one especially with pressure from everyone and everything to be a certain someone or act a certain way. I don't know, in my opinion I thought 24 was still young and still time to explore everything..I'm not saying I want to go out getting drunk every night like I did when I was 19, But i'd like to have some nights out and chill time with my friends?

I just don't know, i'm so confused about everything. Does anyone have any advice or who has been 24 and can give advice to their 24 year old self?

[Arienette]

It's fine to go out at 24. I go out still and do immature stuff, granted not as immature as at 19 but so what- go out and have fun. The only person you owe anything in your life to is yourself.

You're already married: which is cool. Id love to be married by now. And you've achieved a degree which will help you carve a future you want in the long run.

You've done well but if you feel like you need a release as to go out then go out. You're responsible for your happiness and do whatever makes you happy. It doesn't matter what other people think or expect, because at the end of the day who is experiencing your life?

You are so do what makes you happy. X

[Iamcatbug]

I agree with everything that Arienette said.

When I was 24 I was on a gap year from uni, and actually only graduated last year at the age of 26. I'm still in education now studying a masters degree and have only just reached a decision about what career I want to do in the last week or so. And I'm going to be almost 30 by the time that I finally get to starting that job.

One of the best pieces of advice I've heard from several people that I try to remember when I feel like you do is simply that 'life is not a race' and it is true, there is no magic formula or anything to what age you have to be settled down and on a secure job or anything, there is a lot of pressure on people to know exactly where they want to be from a young age. But as long as you are happy with where you are going and are not rushing that is fine. Life isn't a competition. My Dad is coming up to retirement age and he has only just found a job he likes.

As a final point, a lot of people find it difficult to get a job after their degree so you are not alone in that respect. But I totally get that it can be overwhelming to not be able to get any sort of job. I'm not sure if the following suggestion will help but have you thought about volunteer work of some sort? Just to help you get pit and about. Also depending on your degree and what it relates to you may be able to get experience in that area to help with future job applications as I know a lot of career type jobs look for experience as well as education.

[Epicene]

For me, it comes down to accepting that a) my health is most important, even if time sometimes seems to be running out, and b) that I don't need to conform to societal expectations.

I am 25 and like you, I am a graduate and have married. However my mental health has been really poor over the last few years and that's put limits on things like work and feeling like I'm progressing in life. I remind myself that when I am well, I can still have opportunities in the future. I may have another 75 years of life to do all that! Also, its a bit random but we recently got a cat. He is amazing and it makes me feel settled in my every day life, more family oriented etc.

[sherlock holmes]

You're still young, yes you've graduated, got married and have a house but none of that means suddenly now you've got to stay home at weekends and have no fun!

I agree with the others. Life isn't a race and it's your life so you can do it however you want. Find a job you'll enjoy! Go out with your husband and friends and have a good time. You have a lot to be proud of, celebrate that rather than mourn the time that has passed.

You can still be responsible by managing your own home, looking for work/having a job and balance it with doing fun things. Your friend made his choice by staying home and being the family man when he was 21, but that doesn't mean you have to do it too.

Find what works for you!

[Fading Light]

Hi Kate, I'm only a few months older than you, graduated from university and facing the same problems about finding a full time job... I'm also trying to make things work in my personal life and thinking of relocating and that makes it even more chaotic for me...

Now don't let all this pressure get into you. You're a free person and you deserve to enjoy your life, especially since you're still very young. You have to live your life, so you won't be feeling like you've missed it later on. You seem quite serious about your efforts in finding a job and your marriage, so don't be harsh with yourself. Everyone might have followed his own path from whatever age they wanted, but its you who knows what's best for you. And I'm saying that just because you're serious and trying to make your life work. Keep looking for a job and try not to be so stressed about it. It's quite hard to find one, so try not to get depressed and go out guilt-free and enjoy yourself a bit.