homicidal thoughts

[Dr_boo]

Im getting homicidal thoughts about children.
I almost killed my friends baby.
can anyone help?

[talaiporia]

Hi there. That sounds very difficult. Is your friend aware of this?
I wonder if you see children normally in day to day life or if anything has made you feel liek this?

[Dr_boo]

I didn't tell my friend.
I havnt told anyone.
I feel like this when I see any child. Ive been having problems with anxiety lately.
Im not sure who to tell and scared they will arrest me or put me in hospital.
can you be arrested for thinking about killing children?

[talaiporia]

I think it's probably important that you aren't alone with the / a child while you're feeling like this, but no, you can't be punished for thoughts like this.

It mught be worth talking to someone about this - your doctor or your friend so that you aren't left in the same position again.

Have you felt like this bfore?

[Dr_boo]

I have felt like this before yes. I couldn't tell anyone last time because of my job.
Ill try not to be around children.
I feel like someone wants me to kill them so she doesn't have to.

[talaiporia]

I don't think anyone would want you to kill them, and I think your friend would be very upset if you harmed her baby.

Could you tell someone how you're feeling this time?

[Dr_boo]

who should I tell?
It feels unsafe :(

[talaiporia]

Do you have any contact with a duty worker out of hours like HTT or similar?

[Dr_boo]

yea I can try out of hours crisis team? but scared they will make me go to a&e or the police :(

[talaiporia]

I think it's worth just having a chat with them.

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Please try and call the crisis team; you shouldn't have to be alone with these thoughts. Try and remember admission is always, always last resort and they would only do that if they feel you/someone else is risk but they would always talk to you beforehand.

In the mean time, we are always here.

[Patent Pending]

This sounds very difficult to be dealing with. Well done for reaching out here.

You should try to reach out for support, you shouldn't be dealing with this alone.

A doctor or MH professional will be able to try to work out where this has come from.

x x x

[Dr_boo]

thanks guys Ill try and tell my team today.
Ive had a friend staying not been able to speak to the crisis team. Ill call them today and see what they say.
Its like my mind want me to be a killer.

[Steel Maiden]

Homicidal thoughts are more common than most people realise. Anxiety can play a part in this.

I've had homicidal thoughts before in times of extreme stress.

Yes contact your team and be honest with them.

[Dr_boo]

Thanks i told my team. They think im psychotic but I just feel like a bad person.
They said they will give me a med review soon.
I havnt left the house because I scared of what I'm capable of

[Patent Pending]

Well done for telling your team, I know it can't have been easy, so you should feel proud of yourself for that.

You're not a bad person, you have not acted on these thoughts, and the fact that you feel bad about thinking them show's you're a good person, otherwise you wouldn't care so much.

Is there anything inside that you can do to distract yourself?

x x x

[Cacoethes]

I think it's a fairly common thing. I've heard of other people experiencing stuff like this. Like if you're in a kitchen chopping vegetables and get thoughts that you Could do something Like stab someone.
I don't think you're a bad person because you recognise it's not a good thing to do.

[Isoverity]

Thanks i told my team. They think im psychotic but I just feel like a bad person.
They said they will give me a med review soon.
I havnt left the house because I scared of what I'm capable of


People who have been abused, mistreated etc often feel compelled to harm others as they have been harmed. Elements of the events and abusers get inside people and try to drive behaviour in similar ways. Its wise to be concerend about this but don't identify with it. Obvioulsy you are at odds with these compulsive things and they don't really represent you. Struggling with them resentfully can make the fixation stronger. Don't be "for" or "against" the urges. Just "observe" them objectivly as if from a distance or like they were happening to someone else.

[Snow White.]

You're doing really well to manage this by telling your team and keeping yourself and others safe by not going into situations with children, you should be proud of your efforts that is a really good sign. You can get through this. If you feel the risk escalating please make sure you reach out.