Distressed *Triggering*

[stumpy]

I've found out the son of the guy who raped me back when I was only 8 years old (I'm 28 now) has been trying to contact me through Facebook, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to him, I haven't seen him since I was 9 years old :crying:

He has children now, as does his sister, their dad who raped me died when I was 11 years old, but just the thought of his son trying to contact has turned my life upside down.

I spoke with a friend earlier and found more out about the guy who raped me, and am really disturbed about what I've learnt, I'm finally seeing a new counsellor next Tuesday but really not sure if I can last that long, I feel like I'm gonna snap and crack up, Paul the son of the guy wants to meet me after all these years, I'm so scared, I don't know what to do :crying:

[Snow White.]

I'm so sorry you're going through this :(

It is just my opinion but I don't think you should meet him, given how upset you are (understandably) after the message.

Do you have anything that usually helps you when you are feeling distressed? We are here to help you. xx

[ajrocks]

Hiya that must be awful :-( I had someone Pm me on there who hurt me years ago (i'm not good at saying or writing those words so hurt is the best i can do.) and I decided to ignore and block him on there do you think you can do this? Do you know why this guy wants to contact you? I personally think that it isn't a good idea its going to bring up lots of stuff and already seems to have.You don't owe this guy anything,he may be sorry for his dad-if that is why but you are totally not obliged to acknowledge him and it doesn't sound like you are in a good place to do that at the moment and you also don't know what he will say,he may even say things that make you worse.
Ultimately the decision is yours.I hope you can reach a one you are happy with.take care :)

[stumpy]

I did block him already, but he's been in contact with one of my friends, and asked her to ask me if I'd meet him, I don't want to, so I think I'm gonna just ignore his request through my friend to meet me, I'm gonna go now and see if I can get an emergency counselling session, talk this through with my counsellor, before it gets to me any more, I don't really know why he wants to meet, I know he has children now of his own, so maybe it's for them, or maybe he just wants to know how I am, and what my life has been like, but whichever way, this is not going to happen, I don't think I can put myself through that, the torment of knowing he may look a lot like his dad as he's got older just scares me too much, thanks for the support and kind words :-)

[ajrocks]

I think thats a very wise choice :) but i'm so sorry he contacted you in the first place its horrible and difficult to just try to shut all that off again now you've been reminded so i hope you can get in to see your counsellor soon :)

[stumpy]

Well my counsellor thinks the same too, he did suggest however that I message him and tell him, that I won't meet him and that it isn't a bad thing that I won't it's just for my safety, sanity and emotional wellbeing, but then if he does continue to bother that maybe I should pop round to the police station and speak to someone there, explain and maybe they could help :-)

[Epicene]

I think your counsellor speaks wise words and that you need these reminders of the trauma out of your life. You deserve to feel safe now.