Slipped up after nearly 2 years

[fakesmiler]

Hi,
Well it has been a long time since I have posted here for support, but I find that this afternoon I slipped up and cut quiet badly. I was at home alone and decided against A n E due to the cutting being my leg and the worry of driving and secondly not wanting it on my records due to my job.

My partner got me dressings and tape, I have attempted some make shift steris where I can. The scarring will probably be pretty bad, but I guess that's my own fault!

I am just really really struggling. I have phoned in sick again for work tomorrow but really can't afford to take any more time off than that. I just don't knw how to stick myself back together after a wobble this big as it hasn't happened since I have been working properly.

SOrry this is long x

[chinahorse]

Talking to you elsewhere but you know where I am. xx

[Pi.R^2]

I'm so sorry you're struggling and that you slipped up. Remember a slip up isn't a relapse if you don't want it to be.

Do you think it might be worthwhile taking a bit longer off work to really get your head together? I know we're not the same person, but in my experience of our job, it's almost impossible to keep going when you're in a really bad place mentally and sometimes a short while away from the ridiculous pressure and stress does the world of good.

[fakesmiler]

This year I have had a day off for a stomach bug- our job must be one of the few where you can't use the toilet when you want. Then 2 days off for a throat infection. This is my 3rd sick period. So I am already going to be involved in a back to work talk.
Also I imagine you are in the same boat with ks4 at the moment. My year 10s have an exam in 2 and a half week and year 11 is looming closer with a CA deadline approaching. I just can't afford to take the time.
x

[i.am.me]

I can totally relate to this. I wobbled to, on my arm which angered me so so much as all my scars had finally gone white. And then it almost took over me again! It's so addictive.
But, as was said earlier, a wobble doesn't have to be a relapse. We are allowed to wobble, ****, we're allowed to relapse but you can pull it back. You stopped yourself once so you can do it again. You can.
As **** as we know they usually are, try some alternatives. Even if they will never satisfy you like a cut will they will remind you that you have stopped and you can stop and you can cope without a cut. Cause you are stronger than anyone else you know, cause you stopped hurting yourself when it is so hard to do that.
You can cope with whatever made you wobble, just believe you can.
Good luck mate.