Day to day routine with mental illness

[release-me]

I've been out of work or education for a few years now due to mental illness and numerous hospital admissions.

But I've sort of lost all confidence in life and find myself failing any attempts to join a hobby or volunteer or anything.

I was wondering for people in similar positions what is your daily routine like?

I hardly leave house except for appointments and the odd walk if I manage it. When at home I just watch tv / box sets, crochet, read when I have the concentration but that's about it.

I feel I have lost what once was a life and any attempts to try to build it up just don't last because I can't cope.

Do I just accept this is my life for the time being?

[Epicene]

I'm in a similar position to you, though moving forward a bit now. I think to some extent it can be helpful to accept this is your life right now. It certainly helped me, because it took the pressure off me to be continually striving and put my health first. If you're unwell, you're unwell. It's not your fault, and though you may feel you lost your previous life, there is ALWAYS the possibility for having a bright future. My main advice would be not to push yourself into anything big (volunteering, working etc) unless you truly want to and feel ready. Spend your days maybe gradually adding in new enjoyable things but don't berate yourself if some days all you feel up to is watching tv

[Perplex010]

Hi, I know the feeling, I have been out of formal education since I was 20 (I did a 1 year HND) and prior to that I did A levels at 18, so have been in and out really.

It was really bad for a while, and I was so depressed that all I could do was sleep, and go on my laptop. After that I started building other things in that I thought would be helpful. Regular exercise is essential for me, I used to go to the gym a lot, but now I do a good walk most days, because I like being in nature. My main passion is poetry, it's a big source of focus/comfort/achievement. I see my Mum quite often and we just go out for a coffee and/or a walk which isn't stressful as I don't have to do it on my own. After I came out of hospital I started meeting up with some friends for drinks in town and I even went on holiday with them, which I was pretty proud of.
I also enjoy art so am starting an evening art class, which I am a bit nervous about. Reading is also good but it is best to aim to do at least one thing outside the house each day, build it up slowly. Even if it is just going to a coffee shop or meeting someone for an hour. Those are just some suggestions, keep it simple though, because I do understand the feeling of being de-motivated and feeling like you have no life. Some people are just natural introverts, so don't be too hard on yourself.

[release-me]

Thanks for the above posts.

I'm trying to get some structure such as get up shower, exercise, crochet, tv, internet.

But I feel so guilty. I feel like this isn't a life
I'd love to actually go out more but my anxiety is really bad at the moment so can't even manage little things like coffee shops.

Unfortunately I'm pretty alone as well. I have lost all my friends and am very socially anxious.

Tomorrow eve there is an open try outs session for my local women's football team. I used to play when at uni so I am really going to try and get myself to that. not sure how but I really want to go.

I used to be so high flying and functioning and nothing used to daunt me. I was confident, had loads of friends, but now I don't know who I am. I'm the complete opposite of all that and have been for years.

I feel Mental illness has stripped me of nearly everything.

Again really thank you for your posts.

[Arienette]

It's hard but you have to really push yourself out of your comfort zone. I was the same for about 3 years - then I signed up to go back to college, and now I'm exercising and socialising and studying. I would have never thought this actually possible a year ago when I struggled to maintain going to 3 appointments a week.

It takes time, and the whole, fall 7 times, get back up 8 thing is really true for rebuilding your life.

Go for what you enjoy. Something positive. Try different things and see if a new interest comes up. Stuff like that helped me a lot. Like I never used to be sporty and now this year I've signed up for 3 races. xx

[tiptoes]

When I was off work with depression I found it difficult to be out of a routine. At first the only way I could really get routine in my life was around tv and internet.

I then started to set myself some challenges and rewards. At first these were mostly things within the house - doing bits of tidying, ironing etc. As these challenges got easier I started setting challenges to get me out of the house - walking for a paper, sitting in a coffee shop etc. Then started to add more and more challenging activities.

Sometimes the most productive changes are a serious of much smaller changes.

[Doikers]

I hardly socialise offline , Been many years since I tried work/education and then I broke down on the 4th day , Sorry , moaning , just so you knw you're not alone... :)

[random.swirls]

I used to have no routine but I've gradually built up and now work part time.

I think the thing is to start slowly so what about finding a class or something in an area you enjoy? This would just be one day a week then build up to do something else.

What's making you give up is it something you can try and counteract?

[Perplex010]

It's ok if you can't manage things. Just take it slowly, I still feel like I'm not the same as other people my age (in terms of academic achievements, social life etc) - but it's about finding the things you do enjoy and valuing them as part of your routine. For instance, me with poetry and walking. They're not jobs, but they are things I love to do to fill the time. It's hard feeling human when you lack a recognisable "purpose" - and it doesn't help the anxiety, but that's the price that we pay for our MH conditions.

[release-me]

Thank you.

I am meant to be getting a support worker to help me with getting out the house with the anxiety which I am hopeful about.

I absolutely forced myself to go to a ladies football try out session and quite enjoyed it. Not the human interacting bit but I enjoyed the exercise and playing.

I sort of have problems with commitment. I start something and manage it for a fortnight then I suddenly get overwhelmed and scared and anxiety is so uncontrollable I have to quit or stomp it seems to happen with things Where I am responsible to another so a volunteering post for example. I can't take the stress and it sends my mental health in a downward spiral. So maybe I need to focus building up a weekly commitment which doesn't require me being answerable to anyone, somehibg just for myself like you say, coffee shop visits. The anxiety is so much easier to handle when ivknow I am not at risk of letting anyone down.

[Perplex010]

Sometimes the most productive changes are a serious of much smaller changes.

Yes that is very true. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

[Perplex010]

Thank you.

I am meant to be getting a support worker to help me with getting out the house with the anxiety which I am hopeful about.

I absolutely forced myself to go to a ladies football try out session and quite enjoyed it. Not the human interacting bit but I enjoyed the exercise and playing.

I sort of have problems with commitment. I start something and manage it for a fortnight then I suddenly get overwhelmed and scared and anxiety is so uncontrollable I have to quit or stomp it seems to happen with things Where I am responsible to another so a volunteering post for example. I can't take the stress and it sends my mental health in a downward spiral. So maybe I need to focus building up a weekly commitment which doesn't require me being answerable to anyone, somehibg just for myself like you say, coffee shop visits. The anxiety is so much easier to handle when ivknow I am not at risk of letting anyone down.

It doesn't really matter if you don't complete things - just do as much as you like for as long as you can manage. It's all good for building some confidence or just having the experience.

Good that you tried out football, I like football too, wish there was somewhere near me that did that.

Coffee shops are actually really good places for socially anxious people. The only person you have to talk to is the cashier/Barista - other than that you can take a book or a laptop/tablet and just mind your own business and enjoy your drink. I find it soothing, but I have to admit I feel a lot less anxious when I am just in there for a short time with my Mum. It helps to break the day up.

[-Shae-Lynn*]

I've been in a similar boat for about the last 4 years. I found a peer support mental heath drop in centre that runs programs during the day that helps a lot. There isn't any pressure to go though when you do go there is lots of stuff to do and you can make friends with peers and staff.

Could you look into something like that in your area?

[restlessmindatm]

Hi, my wife has a friend who cannot work for various reasons including her mental health and she also does crochet so my wife and her set up a site online selling handmade bits and bobs. Her friend doesn't just crochet but has learned to craft using materials she gets from hobby shops. Its not work to order, she just does what she can but they've made a lot of friends on FB through it.

Sometimes they will get together and make soaps or something but mostly its them making bits and adding it to a pool and anything they sell they split fifty fifty. I would say it's helped both of them as my wife no longer works now and I'm out working so its been a nice way for them to connect to others who do the same things.

They just do things as and when. There are no expectations or stress except when the dogs play with the wool!

Maybe you could look on FB at the casual craft groups there and find others with similar interests in crochet? It could lead to some friendships and productivity I mean productivity from your perspective of course not from anyone else's, nobody has any right to stand in judgement of you. People might not think our friend does much but only because they don't appreciate everything else she has to do just to get to that level to start with.

Good luck and best wishes.