Apathy

[Dragon_Smoke]

Hello everyone, hope you are well so close to Christmas.

This is a pretty awful thing to ask advice for, but my problem is just... Well, that I can't seem to care about anything. I was being treated for depression up until a couple months ago and yes I'm no longer suicidal, crying and have my energy back but I just can't... Do anything.

I feel like there's something wrong with me in comparison to everyone else, they all seem to care about the life they live even when upset or depressed, I'm just blank, not even empty, just grey. I was constantly suicidal but I don't even care about that any more, life death, both just seem... Like they're far away for real humans to deal with.

I don't even feel sad, just, nothing except fear or anxiety sometimes when dealing with people.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to find here by posting this, I just think it's gone on long enough and there's only so much antidepressants can do.

[Morpheus]

Medication makes me like this and being like this makes me even more non functional in life than being psychotic or depressed or anxious or whatever else i struggle with does. Hence why i have discovered and my team has accepted after ten years on meds, that they are not for me.

Illness in itself can do this too apparently hence why i was kept on meds for years and years that didnt help the psychotic symptoms anyway for me but this feeling was excused as illness rather than the meds. In many cases it probably is illness causing it but for me its definitely medication related.

But i do relate as i felt like this for ages and it was so damaging for me and i lost every hobby and interest that gave my life meaning. It even damaged my relatiobships to others as i was seen as cold and indifferent and not understanding which is so far from my normal personality. I was a completely different person in many areas. I absolutely hated it.

I would suggest talking to whoever has been treating you cause you are not supposed to feel like this either and it will not make you any happier.

[Dragon_Smoke]

Yes medication has done that to me as well. I've been on antipsychotics for 6 years and worry the effect on dopamine levels has contributed to it. I can relate to feeling uncaring towards other people before I started the drugs I was a very compassionate person and overly empathic so to result in who I am today is kind of upsetting.

How are you coping with not being on medication now? I'd love to get therapy, one-on-one, I know it'd help me. I'm seeing my care worker in a few weeks I'll mention it to her.