Back to work?

[SoDark]

I have been of of work for a month and a half now on medical leave. I have spent most of that time inpatient and partial hospitalization program. I am really still struggling and I don't have a lot of options. I am supposed to go back to work in three weeks. I don't feel good about this and I am anticipating failure. I feel like it would be less disappointment to my clients if I just don't go back rather than go back to work and disappoint them all over again. I have to go back to partial today after four days off for the holiday and my anxiety is growing.

[tiptoes]

An alternative way of looking at it is to say that you have three weeks to work with your programme to work on getting you ready to go back to work. Can you think about what would have made working easier before you went off sick?

Is there any possibility of a phased return so that it is as much of a shock to the system to return to work?

[SoDark]

The plan is to start off working three days a week and go from there.

[Ballerina123]

I was also gonna suggest a phased return.
Have you spoke to your mh team about going back to work and how it's affecting your anxiety? Could they support you more?

[SoDark]

Suicidal thoughts intruding on my day. I havn't even gone back to work yet. This is not going to work out.

[SoDark]

Back and forth and back and forth. I feel like my job is the only thing that gives me meaning in my life. Most of my clients have decided to wait for me and saw one who freaked out and just wanted to hug me. I don't think I'll ever get better and I don't want to bring my clients back just to leave again. I cried all day yesterday. The plan at this point is to go back december 22 three days a week for one to four weeks then full time. By the way I'm broke.

[crazykat]

I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you at the moment. I know you said financially things are hard but is it possible to slowly ease yourself back into to work say 1 day and then build it up from there? Otherwise is there anything that either you or your workplace could put into place to make it any easier?

I would advise that you also talk to your treating team, they might also be able to help you with some different strategies. Also perhaps between now and the 22nd you could do little things to help build up both your self-esteem and mood. Even if it is as simple as going for a walk somewhere nice or catching up with a friend. As often when we are feeling low all we want to do is withdraw but by practising some opposite action it might help.

[SoDark]

I am returning to work Monday for three days a week and will be continuing work including EMDR with my therapist after she comes back from vacation on the 31st. Therapy is going well and it is now hard work. I have to try to return to my job, my clients are waiting for me. I have not support financially so my plan is to return to full time after two weeks. This is all overwhelming but I am actually doing much better than I was. I just don't know what will happen with the added stress of returning to work but I do have skills and supports so here goes.

[tiptoes]

I'm glad your therapy is going well and that you are doing better than you was. I hope that returning to work isn't too stressful.

Let us know how you get on. Best of luck

[SoDark]

Feeling terrified about going back to work tomorrow. That's all I can say.

[SoDark]

I start back to full time tomorrow but I'm really not feeling well. I don't really have other options. I need money. Besides, if I can't do this now I'm done, doomed, not going to make it.

[Ballerina123]

Is there anyone who can support you at work? Could you talk to a manager about how you feel?

[SoDark]

Suicide is looking more and more like the only option here.

[Ballerina123]

Is there anyone you can talk to about these feelings?
/thoughts?

[SoDark]

I have therapy tomorrow.