Could I get a bit of encouragement please?

[Serendipity.]

Hey guys. I'm sorry to post, it is nothing major or serious, I could just use a bit of encouragement to keep going and being 'normal' right now :P

I've just started a new job. It's in care, which I have done before and I do love it, and it's day shift which is so much better than nights, but it's also much more intense, and I am just quite overwhelmed. Not with the work itself, just getting to know the routines and where everything is and the people.

Realistically, I know it will be okay, and I just need to give myself some time to settle in. I know I have some unhelpful thinking patterns which are playing up at the moment (catastrophising - "I'm finding it tough therefore it probably means I can't do the job or ANY JOB EVER" and comparing - "I bet no-one else feels like this; everyone else just walks into a new job and manages perfectly"). I can recognize that I'm doing this and turn things around, but it isn't always easy.

I also recently ran out of venlafaxine (I know, not sensible) and withdrawal has seriously not been fun. It is more or less over now, though I'm still feeling a bit wobbly and weepy for no apparent reason! I know that any feelings that are caused by that aren't "real" and don't actually mean that I am going to be depressed or whatever, it's just not a very nice feeling. I think I've left it too long now to start taking it again at the same dose, so I need to go and see my GP (I wanted to talk to her about potentially coming off it anyway) but it will probably be at least a couple of weeks before I can get an appointment.

I am so tired. So, so tired, and I have to do five twelve-hour shifts in a row, starting tomorrow and I'm just dreading it. I could cry. Well that's a lie, I already am! I know that most of this, if not all of it, is just very much normal life stuff. And I do have so, so many positive things going on in my life just now. I would just appreciate some encouragement and support to keep going and make sure it stays that way.

[tiptoes]

Leaves lots of encouragement. Sorry short on words tonight but hope your shifts go ok. best of luck x

[Charmed]

Hi lovely, I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now, it sounds like you have a lot going on.

Firstly congratulations on getting a new job. Starting a new job can be daunting and difficult, I'm pretty sure everyone struggles when they start something new, so please don't think you're on your own with this. This is completely normal! Do you have any support at work? For example do you have supervisor meetings etc. could you possibly discuss things with them? It's okay to just ask what would make things easier to adjust and see if they have advise. Failing that, could you talk to your colleague's about what they did when they first started and how they dealt with it? I'm sure many of them would have been in a similar position to you and can offer some advise.

Venlafaxine withdrawal sounds horrendous and it's not surprising you are struggling so much with this. Not having a GP appointment with no meds for 2 weeks is quite a while, is there anyway you can get an appointment sooner? Usually if you ring up before 9am surgeries can fit you in sometime that same day. Or perhaps try and explain your situation.

12 hours shifts in a row sounds horrible! Will this happen often? Perhaps for the next 5 days just try and rest as much as possible as well as keep yourself properly fed. It's probably not going to be the most fun 5 days, but it's important to sleep enough and make sure you're having proper meals.

Thinking of you <3

[Aubergine]

Hey.

Can you get a phone appointment with your GP, just to ask her how to titrate up your dose of venlafaxine? A pharmacist could possibly advise you; it would depend how comfortable they were with doing so.

Five long days in a row is a lot. Can you break things down? Do you get a break? I find that splitting days up helps.

Thinking of you. :)

[Serendipity.]

Thank you guys <3

I'll try and make sure I eat and sleep and stuff. It takes me an hour to get to work and an hour to get home, so all I'll really have time to do is work and eat and sleep, I just need to focus on getting through it. We do get breaks (15 minutes, half an hour, 15 minutes) so yeah that helps.

I do need to talk to my GP about things so I'd rather just wait until I can get an appointment. I will try and phone to make one tomorrow if I have time.

I am just weeping all over the place for no reason, I will reply properly at some point, I just wanted to say thank you, I really do appreciate the encouragement and support <3

[Aubergine]

*hug*

[Patent Pending]

*squishes*

I am once again low on words but I'm sending loads of love and positiveness.

You will settle into the job and get there eventually. I thought I was taking ages to pick things up but turns out everyone was really surprised how fast I had. I guess my advice is stick at it and we're our own worst critics ♡

Much love

x x x

[Serendipity.]

Thank you guys xx

I'm having a major wobble right now. I started work on a different unit (secure dementia) and it is really, really tough. I am trying to tell myself it will get easier once I adjust to it but it's so hard.

I'm so so tired. I need to do better with my sleep hygiene, but to get my eight hours (I am one of those people who really do need eight hours!) I need to be asleep within an hour of getting home and I've never been able to do that.

I wish I didn't struggle so much. I feel like I've lived the past year constantly outside of my comfort zone, and while I know that it is worth it really and I have achieved things, it is exhausting.

I am so so tearful and so so scared of this turning into anything more than a wobble.

[Uglyducklin]

I'm low on words but so sorry things are tough.

[Aardbei]

It will get easier, but you need to stay on top of things. Make a GP appointment and if you can, schedule time to talk to your employers about how things can be made easier. It might help to write out a list of things that need sorting.

Love you x x x

[Epicene]

Thinking of you and really hope you feel better soon. Remember there is always occupational health who may be able to support you in your role. You are not alone x

[Serendipity.]

Thank you so much, all of you.

I do need to make an appointment to see my GP. I will definitely call and do that tomorrow. Feel free to nag me if I don't!

I ran into the deputy manager at work and she apologized for the five long days in a row, and it shouldn't happen again. So that's comforting. I'm not sure about talking to them. I've always been really reluctant to do that because I don't consider myself to have a disability or anything, so I don't feel I deserve special treatment or allowances (I'm not sure what would make things easier anyway!) and I don't want to make things difficult for my employers. I don't know. I will think about it.

[Aubergine]

I will nag! I'm good at that. :)


It's good that it shouldn't happen again. It's a lot! *hug*


I guess the benefit of talking to your employer is that it might make them a bit more aware. I don't need special allowances at work really, but I find it really helpful that my manager is in the know about some of my difficulties and is therefore able to support me a bit better. It's usually just "take five minutes" or something, but it can make all the difference. :)

[Serendipity.]

Thanks lovely <3

The thing is, they are aware, as I do always declare stuff, plus I wear a short sleeved uniform so it's a bit obvious I may not be entirely sane :P I don't know, I just feel like bringing it up would be whiny and pointless.

[Aubergine]

Have you just declared a diagnosis? Or have you had the opportunity to explain how what you experience affects you? It's the impact is has on you that's the important bit, and you can't always get that from forms or just knowing that someone has hurt themselves in the past. It wouldn't be whiny or pointless. It can help your employer too. :)

[tiptoes]

It must be a relief that 5 long shifts on a run aren't the norm.

Often when I am asked about what adjustments I'd like made they ask me about things that will stop me getting sick. Which I hate because it feels like planning for the worst and also feel bad for adjustments that I might not necessarily need and it is focus on the disability. What I prefer to think about are what things help me stay well. For me things like routine and being able to stick to a good sleep pattern etc.

Would thinking about how you can implement things that help you stay well be something you'd consider talking to them about. Lots of people need slight adjustments. My mum was a nurse and as she started to get older she really struggled with stamina and a bad back, so it was arranged that she would do long shifts rather than short ones (so more days off to recuperate) and would only work a max of 2 in a row. Adjustments don't necessarily mean special treatment just slightly different considerations when diviving up the duties and rota etc.

did you phone up about a GP appt?

[Serendipity.]

Thank you both. I guess I just find it hard to see the point; I don't think there is anything work could do that would help? All the things that do help are things that I have to put in place. You are probably right though. I will definitely think about speaking to them.

I haven't got around to making an appointment with my GP either. I keep putting it off but I think I do need to make one. I will do my absolute best to make one on Monday.

I think things are going downhill. I am still happy about lots of things in my life, but behind it all I feel quite down and I am scared of getting 'depressed' again (I know it isn't really depression but that's what people keep calling it and that's how it feels). I think if I'm honest, things maybe haven't been completely right since my mood stopped being 'up' and that was weeks ago. And then starting the new job and things hasn't necessarily made things any easier. I am trying hard to manage it. But I know speaking to my GP is probably the sensible thing to do right now.

[Aardbei]

Please make an appointment on Monday, Hannah x

[Serendipity.]

Thanks lovely. I do appreciate all the nagging really!

I managed to get an appointment today as there was a cancellation. It was fine. I've been prescribed mirtazapine, because of finding that the venlafaxine was making me quite restless, so she thought something more sedating may be useful. I'm really not sure about taking it due to work; dragging myself out of bed at 6am is hard enough at the best of times and I can't see myself functioning well at work if I'm feeling zoned out. I've taken it briefly before and think I did find it quite sedating.

She also gave me a list of counselling services, most of which aren't relevant because they're aimed at specific issues which I don't have, but I called one that is and left a message so hopefully they'll call me back before too long.

I just feel a bit tearful and full of woe. I've done counselling, I've been on and off antidepressants. I know there isn't really anything else and it's worth continuing to try with these things, and I know that ultimately it is down to me to take responsibility for sorting my problems out, it just feels like it has been a very very long road already and I'm not sure how much I can get out of doing the same things over and over.

[Aardbei]

I can 100% relate to your last statement but what I always tell myself is that it is about perseverance, as you said, and finding the right combination of things. There are so many different medications and dosages and combinations which will work to take the edge off, and then the right counselling will teach you things you'd never heard before and that in combination will be the road to recovery. More counselling can hardly be bad because you never know what unique perspective a new therapist could have, or a new feeling a medication might give you. Don't give up! x x x