Being happy feels so strange?

[Arienette]

I don't want to jinx anything. But I feel really happy lately, and although it is enjoyable it is making me a little nervous because I feel like it is too good to be true.

I am on 20mg of citalopram and now 5mg of olanzapine. I am good at taking my meds because i remember just before bed. I don't have mania or anything, but it just feels so strange and weird to be THIS happy and content.

Am I just used to being depressed maybe, and now I'm like a mega version of myself? I'm productive and sociable and smiling and playful, and sometimes can't keep up with myself, but it's fun.

Has anyone else found that being really happy with everything, even though no circumstances have changes, really strange to accept and get used to?

I'm not complaining, it's just strange. I've been really productive ant getting stuff done, and managing on less sleep once the initial side effects from olanzapine wore off - but it's weird. It just feels weird.

Although enjoyable too. It's just making me a little anxious that's all. It would just be good to know if anyone else as experienced these feelings. Is it a normal part of recovery that I just wasn't aware of?

x

[sherlock holmes]

I'm glad you're feeling happier! I know you said you're not manic, but a few things started to flag up in what you wrote-

-you feel like a mega version of yourself
-you can't keep up with yourself sometimes
-you are really productive
-you are sleeping less

Just keep an eye out because those can be signs of hypomania which could turn into mania.

Personally, as someone with bipolar, for me 'normal' happiness is not exactly feeling happy. It's more like being content with things. I'm not having ten million thoughts a second, I'm not constantly saying to myself "I love this! Life is PERFECT!", I'm not super productive and thinking up lots of new things to do, I'm not talking faster. I'm not impulsive. Because those things are my signs of being hypomanic.

[Ballerina123]

I'm glad you're feeling happier! I know you said you're not manic, but a few things started to flag up in what you wrote-

-you feel like a mega version of yourself
-you can't keep up with yourself sometimes
-you are really productive
-you are sleeping less

Just keep an eye out because those can be signs of hypomania which could turn into mania.
I agree with this.
Any extreme mood changes should be acknowledged just incase they turn into illness.
Just worth keeping an eye on it really.

although I'm very glad your feeling good.

Could you maybe keep a mood diary to keep an eye on it.
emoods is a good app for that :)

[Arienette]

Thanks for your responses.

I'm not having ten million thoughts a second, I'm not constantly saying to myself "I love this! Life is PERFECT!", I'm not super productive and thinking up lots of new things to do, I'm not talking faster. I'm not impulsive.
This is basically how I've been feeling lately. It is quite far more energetic than the content feeling, because I've felt that before.

For example, lately I've managed to do all my college work, and I've written about 15 blog posts. I struggle with watching tv because it just isn't stimulating enough. - It's so far from what I know. Sometimes I've been unable to concentrate because studying isn't stimulating enough and I have too much nervous energy.

That's why I've been struggling with it though, because I can't chill out, I need to be doing doing doing. And the nervous energy is quite tense. I am sleeping though, just not the 12-13 hours I was sleeping before I felt happy. I've dropped to about 6-8 which I know is "normal" but I sleep a lot, all the time, no matter what. - I'm like a teen for sleep.

---
sorry I ranted. All of these feelings just feel alien to me. I've been documenting my mood so I'll put it onto a chart on my computer - I haven't filled in my charts for a long time.

xx

[Arienette]

I'm completely crashing now. I'm really drained. Maybe it was just gettin use to meds?

[Ballerina123]

Maybe you should mention this to your GP just so that your mood can be monitored more closely.
It does sound like you getting periods of high mood and I know when I'm high that it's hard to make good, healthy decisions.

Sorry your crashing though.

But yea mention it so you can keep an eye on it.

[Arienette]

Yeah I'm seeing them on Monday.

I will mention it though. Last time I was like this that I remember clearly is June and I even made a blog about how amazing I am (has since been deleted lol) then I had a huge crash into massive depression then I started citalopram.

So that was ages ago but it feels the same. I even uploaded loads of videos if how amazing I was on saxophone - I'm not amazing at all lol. And of me dancing: you've seen my dancing, it's not amazing at all lol. X

[Ballerina123]

Yea sounds like it is Goid to talk about.

How long do your highs last?

[Arienette]

About 2 weeks, sometimes just a little under. So 10-14 days.

That day I was at yours it had just started but I still sleep. I wasn't overly happy was I? Or do you think it's just a bit of irregularity in normal mood shifts? X

That stuff I mentioned in my last post was in June.

I've just Bern really productive and excitable this time, like near enough screaming when I say a joke, or finding tiny things so funny I jump up and down and stomp my feet and being a bit selfish not waiting for them and stuff. I'm just too go go go. I've perked up since my crash earlier. At least I'm still not depressed eh?!!!