Depression, no energy, citalopram help?

[Arienette]

Hi,

I used to feel suicidal pretty much constantly, and cry at everything, and hurt everywhere, and sleep for hours upon hours. Finally my Dr prescribed me citalopram and it helped after a few weeks. When I went for a check up I was having a rough time again she she upped it to 20mg.

Now, I do not know if I am just tired, or just sad because I am not suicidal I do not know whether to say I am better, or just better than before because gradually things seem to be getting harder again.

I am so tired all the time and have so little energy. I feel heavy and weak.
My appetite has completely fallen off the face of the earth, and I've lost a little bit of weight (relatively minor but enough to be "lost weight" as I've not lost weight for months previously) because I just cannot eat. - it doesn't feel ED fuelled either because I want to eat and know it's not enough, but I just have no appetite and can only face very little food (well for me, it's not even little compared to previous anorexia days, but in comparison to my new norm it is little)

I think the result of no appetite is maybe why I'm so tired and weak and heavy feeling. And that is bringing my mood down because I just want to do my study and exercise and do stuff that I like in my free time.

But I have no energy. I have been working just over a year on my sleep pattern because I used to get up at 3-4pm. I got it to between 6.30-8 most mornings, but now, getting up is so impossible that I keep sleeping in tip like 10 - which is really annoying me and getting me down because I worked so hard to fix it, and it worked and now what I did before isn't working.

I'm back to oversleeping again, last night I slept 12 hours again and it keeps happening.

Where as I had gotten my sleep to 6 1/2 - 9 hours on a night and I felt good when I woke up.

I feel gloomy and down and even though it is interspersed with moment of feeling OK, most of the time is just gloominess and feeling down no matter how hard I try. I feel unmotivated, and getting started on anything is super hard, especially as at the moment it's really hit and miss for if I can focus at all properly.

And even with all that sleep I keep falling asleep at the kitchen table.

I'm on 20mg citalopram and am not due to see dr for 5 weeks now.

Even my routine is falling apart gradually. I LIVE by my routine, I can't function without it.

But I don't know if I'm just sad, or a bit blue but not depressed because it's not as intense as before - and even then some Drs didn't believe me that I was down at all for whatever reasons - and then I was obsessed with suicide and dying, and had violent thoughts and would cry for hours, or sit for days in the bathtub in a blanket staring at the wall and crying. And because I'm not like that, I think maybe should I be getting on with it? Or is it worth trying to talk to my GP via a phone appointment?

I mean, I can barely eat and it's really bothering me because I wanted to keep my weight healthy because it took SO much fight to re-build myself. And I think that's partially why I'm so tired all the time. It's so upsetting.

I'm also wondering if my sadness is a normal response to a difficult situation: I'm having difficulties with my landlord which are long term on going, and my relationship is exceptionally strained because my S/O is depressed, and it's coming out in volatility and anger which is usually directed at me lately.

[keep_it_together]

How long have you been on the increased dose? I think it can take a few days to adapt to the new doses and it may take up to weeks before you notice the full positive effects.

Being wiped out for a few days after upping a dose might not be too out of the ordinary. I know you want relief for how you feel now but these things can take a little while. Please hang in there.
I remember starting Citalopram made me nauseous and I wasn't especially keen on food for a few days.

If in the end you find that Citalopram isn't for you though there are quite a few others to try.

[keep_it_together]

Another thought occurs. 20mg isn't a lot for Citalopram iirc. I think when I was initially prescribed 25mg they said something like only 20% of people respond to a dose that low.


It might be worth a telephone appointment to see if you can get a larger denomination pill and up the dose.

[Arienette]

I started 20mg on 3rd Sep (so about a month ago)

They try to keep my doses low because I'm pretty sensitive to substances etc, and am quite small.

I might phone up though. I am just struggling knowing if I am depressed or reacting to difficulties in my relationship. She woke up not too long ago, and was really off with me and has stormed back to bed after a one way argument at me about "what was wrong with my face?" - as in I looked moody - but I was just concentrating on my UCAS stuff.

I can't tell.

And when I am down, it just seems to infuriate her lately. Maybe I'm struggling to cope with our "relationship".

[keep_it_together]

A lot of that sort of thing I used to find wasn't helped by being in a bad mood myself when extremely low. It's not rational but then bad moods aren't are they. I know I'm not exactly easy to live with when down not just because of the sadness, but because of the quickness to irritability and lack of being able to defuse situations like that.

It's not easy at all when you feel so bad is it. It's always worth trying to get your dose upped though or maybe asking about different meds.

I found Citalopram helpful in the first instance, and it seemed to be my GPs knee-jerk reaction antidepressant but when I saw someone a little more experienced with my issues he recommended a tri-cyclic antidepressant and to me it made Citalopram seem like the light stuff. There's many other options or higher doses of the one you're on now and if it's just not doing it for you you can be surprised what a difference it can make having a higher dose or trying something else.

I'd definitely suggest you speak to someone about upping the dose, your local community mental health team might have some out of hours numbers (I only found out that they do this recently) to call on if you can't wait till Monday, they could advise on dosage and help you to get access to a higher dose if that's appropriate in your circumstances.

[Arienette]

Thanks I'm discharged from CMHT but am seeing a woman at Psychologies on Monday who I can ask. If I get desperate I'll phone out of hours gp.

Thank you for your responses. X

[keep_it_together]

I didn't have much luck when I tried calling the out of hours GP. They told me to call a pharmacist who told me to call my regular GP on Monday....

Don't be afraid to tell them what you'd like to try if you don't think what you're on now is working.

I hope you can relax this weekend. Take care

[Tenna]

Was just about to post a topic like this, have been on 20mg of citalopram for 3 weeks after a month of 10mg, was going actually pretty fine up until yesterday when everything felt worse than when I started taking this ****, thought it was maybe just a rare occurrence to have all of the negative energy and suicidal thought come back but it's all still there and worse than before taking citalopram.

Anyway I am no real expert just sharing maybe it's some what comforting to know you aren't alone.

[Ballerina123]

It may take a while for your body to adjust.

Remeber though that you have just started college and the brain can zap a lot of your energy while studying. If your struggling to eat enough supliment drinks are good and they have loads of vitamins in them to keep you healthy.

I take a multi vitamins with B vitamins in it daily and that seems to help me althought they can take a few weeks to work.

Good routine and early nights help also.

Some anti Ds make you tired at first though so it might just be a waiting game.

[Arienette]

Remeber though that you have just started college

Yes true. I suppose I'm used to only needing to be somewhere once maybe twice a week, so maybe I'm starting to struggle with adapting because I've done so little for so many years, and now that college is regular and has been for a month, maybe I'm struggling to adapt.

I have been hitting up the nutrition shakes because it's fortified and dense energy so it means I'm getting something. A drink is easier to face when my appetite is rubbish. And I've been going to bed earlier also, at like 10 instead of the usual between midnight and 1am.

I'm also struggling to know how to balance studying with me time and managing life functioning tasks like doing the washing, or cooking and eating (especially as the latter makes so much mess and takes so much time).

It's silly because I KNOW better than to not be bothered with food but when my appetite is so dull and my motivation is low, it's hard to get motivated because I'm not driven by a "I'm hungry I need to eat" feeling - because it's not happening very often.

I"m just planning more, and trying to be a bit easier on myself with study. Some days I feel like i need to study all day every day in order to feel OK about my efforts, but I'm trying to just say that if I do *something* each day, then that is OK.

I'm just a glum cloud lately. I have no idea how people with full time jobs manage to have relationships and friends and families and time to eat and do the washing etc at all. Just no idea. I used to manage it, but now I have no idea.

- sorry to rant -

I just keep forgetting to take into account that I've just started college and maybe it is more difficult in some areas than I imagined (as in coping and functioning etc)

thought it was maybe just a rare occurrence to have all of the negative energy and suicidal thought come back but it's all still there and worse than before taking citalopram

This can be really common in young people and young adults. I have not had a return of suicidal thoughts though, I want to live and I know I do: which means it is still helping me slightly. I just feel pretty low and gloomy and lethargic. I'm sorry you're struggling with your meds too though.