Feeling Wired

[Between Two Lungs]

I'm just looking for some advice really on how to cope with how I'm currently feeling. The best way I can describe it is wired and awake. Today I think my psych was relating it to a bipolar-like high? For the last couple of weeks I have felt really energised, but an unproductive energy. It's like I'm stuck where I am and I can just feel it pulsating through. My sleep has been pretty poor because I go to bed and despite being physically tired will still have that 'awake' feeling. I also have been waking early without going back to sleep which is rough. That said, I have also had some real lows where I've been suicidal... It's all a bit complicated really with exercise and being (weight restored) anorexic and things..

Tonight I went a little OTT and after deciding to put my shoe rack in my wardrobe, I pulled out everything from about 75% of my room before reorganising and cleaning it all back up. I now feel really tired and am in a shitty mood and yet my mind is still on hyper-alert and not ready to sleep.

Things can't go on like this. I have exams coming up in November, ones I didn't finish last year, so I'd really like to be able to reach my potential this year.

I'm starting to titrate down my antidepressent as we think that's the cause but it's unlikely to make a difference right away. Any advice for the meantime would be hugely appreciated!

[tiptoes]

When I am hypomanic I find the more I do the higher my mood goes so one thing that helps is to avoid things that could over stimulate myself. Your description of going to put a shoe rack in the wardrobe then starting to reorganise everything is so me when high.

Did your psych mention anything to help you sleep? The worst thing for my elevated moods is the lack of sleep that comes with them which makes my mood higher and me sleep less. Whereas if I can get a decent nights sleep it doesn't tend to escalate so much.

I find that doing mental puzzles helps me get to sleep things like counting numbers as prime factors or reciting the periodic table (I'm a science geek) helps but you could do it with anything.

Sometimes I find I can utilise my extra energy into work but sometimes I come across notes I have made when my mood has been high it is like they are written in a foreign language for all the sense they make.

i'm not sure if any of this is helpful. sorry.

[Between Two Lungs]

It was helpful, thank you for taking the time to reply Tiptoes.

I've got temazepam and olanzapine prn but the temazepam is pretty useless at the moment. The olanzapine is good in that it basically knocks me out and I'm somewhat calmer by the time I wake up though I tend to be hung over and I'm really scared of becoming reliant on it. I perhaps should've discussed things with him more but at the time there was so much white noise in my head I wasn't really present. He's now not available for 2 weeks and it's a week until I see my GP so medication wise that's all I've got.

I really like the idea of using numbers to help with sleep. That's something I will definitely try (I'm a very maths/sciency person too. :) )

This is just so difficult to manage! My moods seem to be really erratic and when I feel low, it's intense. I feel so self-destructive and negative.

I just cannot seem to stay still, literally and metaphorically. Over the last two days I've drove for about 9 hours and when I got home today I was exhausted and yet when I went to have a nap, I couldn't just stay there - my mind was awake, full of white noise and so up I got and have bumbled around since then because I don't have the actual energy to do anything more.

This experience is just so overwhelming and unfamiliar. I want my life to return to normal now. I don't want this and I'm scared the more and longer the lows become, the more at risk I am. I'm angry the antidepressant could've done this and I wish I'd never been on it.

[tiptoes]

In what respect are you worried about being dependent on olanzapine? Olanzapine is great for sleep, the hung over feeling the following morning wear off. It is hard to ask all the questions you want to ask when you are a little elevated. It also works as a mood stabiliser so might help you come down too.

I'm glad you liked the idea of using numbers to help with sleep. It does help me, hope it helps you too.

Don't want to sound preachy but be careful driving at the minute. I crashed one car twice during what I now know to be a hypomanic episode. I now have to be wary about the impact my mood might have on my driving and stop driving if my mood gets too high.

I understand some of your feelings. The first proper elevated episode I had was awful. It was just too too much and overwhelming and scary and yeah unfamiliar. Anti-depressants send me high too, which is rather frustrating when it is depression I suffer with more but I have found a medication that helps keep my mood stable but it did take a while. It was tough at times lots of anger, disappointment and frustration. There are some antidepressants that are lower risks of causing elevated moods there are other meds that can be prescribed alongside the antidepressant that reduces the risks too.

I hope that things start to get easier for you and that things return to a more even keel. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.