littlemermaid
30-09-2014, 12:18 AM
I wish I was part of the BPD community here at RYL. I really need some people that will listen and not push me away when I bring up scary stuff. It has been awhile since I have been here.
Last I was here I had been "kicked out" of therapy with my current therapist. She felt like I wasnt "self regulating" well enough and was too dependent on her and too much of a risk for her to deal with....anyway she wanted me to go do DBT for 6 months and then she would consider having me back. That was last nov....Since then I have been with a new therapist doing full model DBT. As much as I miss my old therapist, things have been going very well with this newer therapist. But now things are changing.....I HATE change.
I really don't feel like going in to the whole thing right now, but the important things to know now is that I may have to leave DBT for financial reasons which means going back to my previous therapist. Initially when I left her my goal of working with this new therapist was just to get back to the first one. Now that I have the chance to go back I dont know if i want to. I am meeting with her in a couple days to discuss options expectations, and just see if working together again would be a good idea. Ok, that sounds reasonable.
My my current therapist is on vacation this week. I am having a really hard time staying "safe" I really want to SH, but doing that would likely ruin my chances of going back to that other therapist, and I have a contract with my current therapist that I don't want to break. Plus I dont want to have to tell her that while she was away getting married, I cut. She has back up phone coaching this week, so I could call for coaching right now, but I don't know the women that I would be calling and I am too scared to.
So that is why I am writing. I miss my therapist, I feel like I need to talk to her right now, and I cant. Plus I am freaking out about her getting married cause im worrid about her having babies and going on maternity leave (I know thats a long way off, we have spoken about it, but I am still anxious about it)
Thanks for reading and thanks for the support. Sorry for asking for support when I am never on here giving it...
Last I was here I had been "kicked out" of therapy with my current therapist. She felt like I wasnt "self regulating" well enough and was too dependent on her and too much of a risk for her to deal with....anyway she wanted me to go do DBT for 6 months and then she would consider having me back. That was last nov....Since then I have been with a new therapist doing full model DBT. As much as I miss my old therapist, things have been going very well with this newer therapist. But now things are changing.....I HATE change.
I really don't feel like going in to the whole thing right now, but the important things to know now is that I may have to leave DBT for financial reasons which means going back to my previous therapist. Initially when I left her my goal of working with this new therapist was just to get back to the first one. Now that I have the chance to go back I dont know if i want to. I am meeting with her in a couple days to discuss options expectations, and just see if working together again would be a good idea. Ok, that sounds reasonable.
My my current therapist is on vacation this week. I am having a really hard time staying "safe" I really want to SH, but doing that would likely ruin my chances of going back to that other therapist, and I have a contract with my current therapist that I don't want to break. Plus I dont want to have to tell her that while she was away getting married, I cut. She has back up phone coaching this week, so I could call for coaching right now, but I don't know the women that I would be calling and I am too scared to.
So that is why I am writing. I miss my therapist, I feel like I need to talk to her right now, and I cant. Plus I am freaking out about her getting married cause im worrid about her having babies and going on maternity leave (I know thats a long way off, we have spoken about it, but I am still anxious about it)
Thanks for reading and thanks for the support. Sorry for asking for support when I am never on here giving it...