Too much support. seems an uncommon problem.

[Ballerina123]

I scared this thread might anger people because they usually have the opposite problem. I'm not trying to anger or upset any one I am actually finding it a real problem.

Resently my mental health team have been seeing me too much and im starting to get sick of it.

My cc sees me twice a week and calls me 2-3 times a week (she actually called me 3 times today already). My psych wanted me in hospital but im not sure it's necessary so I said no so now htt see me daily.
I've had 2 MHAs in a week at home.
My housing support worker sees me weekly too.

Yea I've been having some anxiety and some stress but im not that ill. Not enough for all of this attention.
I've asked them to reduce visits and discharge me from htt and they say no. They just keep saying they are worried and when I say about what they don't answer.

I'm really no sure what I'm doing wrong and know this time and treatment could be given to someone who is really ill but im getting it instead.

It's like the opposite extreme to those who struggle to access help.
I know i should be greatful and i am I just feel a bit overwhelmed because I'm running out of things to tell them and they just keep telling me "I don't think your telling us everything"
I mean what do they want to know? The colour of my knickers.

[in_BPD_hell]

Hey

Wow.. Sounds like they are concerned.
I am delighted you are getting support
If you don't feel it's necessary do you think you can ask for more space or independence to see if it helps you in anyway?!
On a different note (sorry if you think this is inappropriate I don't mean it to be) if you are still so involved with services etc do you think going back to work so soon will be helpful or do you need more time?

[sherlock holmes]

To be honest it sounds like you need that level of support right now. To have two MHAs in one week means that you were seriously close to being sectioned, plus your team want you in hospital and because you've refused you're under the HTT.

You might not be the best person to decide if you're well or not as it seems you have lost some insight. Can you trust your team that you need this amount of support?

I do agree with in_BPD_hell in that starting a job when you're having the hallucinations and being unwell is probably not the best idea. I'm not sure you'd be cleared by OH if you've had MHAs so recently and been under HTT. It would probably best to be stable and not needing HTT for a few months before thinking about work.

[Ballerina123]

My team know that hospital makes me worse so I'm not sure how that is in my best interests.

And it's not a risk thing because I'm not wanting to harm myself or others.

Yea im not sure about the job either. I'll email them today.

[in_BPD_hell]

its hard if you have lost insight
they take over and you just have to go with it
hope your managing to keep safe xxx

[Ballerina123]

Thanks. Yes I'm very safe.
I do have insight though. So I'm not really sure how that thought has come about...

[in_BPD_hell]

do you know why they are keen for you to be under HTT? or in Hospital?
that will help you if you understand there concerns

[Ballerina123]

No they wouldn't explain it that's what's getting to me.
I spoke to my support worker and she suggested I get an advocate to help iron out some of the confusion.

[tiptoes]

I hear you.

I see someone from student support, a psychiatrist and care coordinator through early intervention and a mentor through DSA.

Most of the time we organise it so I see either the person from student support or my care coordinator each week, my psychiatrist every couple of months and my mentor every fortnight. In the summer I had a hypomanic episode and they all wanted to see me weekly and my CC phoned me in addition to my appointments and they wanted HTT involved too but I said no to that. I just wanted to scream "leave me alone". I was fed up of saying the same things over and over again and begrudged having to spend time with them when I could have been spending the time being awesome.

That hypomanic episode was my least destructive, was brought under control more promptly than my previous ones. Their support enabled me to continue at uni and it kept me out of hospital (which was also being suggested). Yes it drove me mad at the time, yes it was a pain, I felt so guilty for taking up everyone's time for "just" a hypomanic episode and I felt such a relief when they started to back off again but it did make a difference.

Hang in there, try to be open and honest and I hope things start to look up for you. Here if you need someone to talk to.

[in_BPD_hell]

Are you having any delusions?
Are you eating?
Are you self harming?

[Ballerina123]

Are you having any delusions?
Are you eating?
Are you self harming?

They haven't said im delusional. They haven't actually said what's wrong with me (if anything).
I'm eating fine.
I haven't self harmed for years and have no plans to do so.

[Ballerina123]

I hear you.

I see someone from student support, a psychiatrist and care coordinator through early intervention and a mentor through DSA.

Most of the time we organise it so I see either the person from student support or my care coordinator each week, my psychiatrist every couple of months and my mentor every fortnight. In the summer I had a hypomanic episode and they all wanted to see me weekly and my CC phoned me in addition to my appointments and they wanted HTT involved too but I said no to that. I just wanted to scream "leave me alone". I was fed up of saying the same things over and over again and begrudged having to spend time with them when I could have been spending the time being awesome.

That hypomanic episode was my least destructive, was brought under control more promptly than my previous ones. Their support enabled me to continue at uni and it kept me out of hospital (which was also being suggested). Yes it drove me mad at the time, yes it was a pain, I felt so guilty for taking up everyone's time for "just" a hypomanic episode and I felt such a relief when they started to back off again but it did make a difference.

Hang in there, try to be open and honest and I hope things start to look up for you. Here if you need someone to talk to.
Thanks but by the sounds of it you actually had something wrong with you.
I don't believe there is anything significantly wrong with me except a bit of extra stress which they are just making worse by stressing me out over so much support

[tiptoes]

At the time I didn't really think there was anything wrong with me, certainly not to the extent they were suggesting.

[tiptoes]

My level of paranoia gets assessed at reviews with my CC using the PANS scale (I think that is what is called) would it be worth asking them to do something like that with you then you would have evidence to support the fact you aren't paranoid for them.

[Ballerina123]

I have just got a call off my mum saying she had a voice message off the amhp saying would like to talk to her.
They didn't ask my permission.
Is this braking confidentiality?
As far as I know I'm not currently being considered for section. Well that is what I assumed when psych seen me today.

Wtf?

[MissAnonymous]

If any of the MHA assessments recently came about because your mum requested one, or if she has contacted them then it could be her getting back to her as she is you NOK (?)

Perhaps ask her if this was the first she has heard from them.

I can't say if its breaking confidentiality because I don't know and that would be a big accusation to make, could cause a lot of confusion and upset for someone on here to comment when none of us really know what is going on. Not that I think its any help me saying this cos it seems you don't know the full story either.

I suggest you keep asking questions and insist on an advocate and if you feel they are not answering questions you can request your notes. There is a policy that encourages staff to show your notes (at least the ones that particular professional has written) to reduce the need for formal requests.. I'll have a google but I have tried to use this before. An advocate may be able to help also.

[Ballerina123]

My mum knew nothing. She was as shocked as me.

I have asked her what she would say if they decided on a MHA and she said she would say I don't need one and she is against medication for me. Which is good but im not sure how much say she would have.

I'm so sick of them just doing stuff and not asking me or explaining why or even making me aware what they may do.

[in_BPD_hell]

I am not surprised - they have no respect for confidentiality (disclaimer - in my opinion... I know this isn't everyone's experience...!!)
all I would say is sometimes they need to speak to those closest to you to get a full picture or understanding of what is going on for you at the moment
try not to let it bother you or wind you up

[MissAnonymous]

Right, some trusts will allow informal veiwing of notes, perhaps bring your mum with you so she can understand what is happening too...

For example Central and North West London Foundation Trust say on their website that; 'We are happy to facilitate access to your records. We can provide informal access through your doctor or other practitioner. Just ask to see your recent notes (less than 40 days old) and they will discuss them with you.'

I understand the uncertainty must be hard but try and remember that whatever really is happening, they must be thinking they are doing the right thing by you, even if they have got it wrong. They're not wasting time on you, is what I am saying, you have been very unwell.

[MissAnonymous]

I think you should write down a list of clear questions to your care team, be constructive though, don't just try to argue your point from the off.

As suggested you could ask them what clinical assessment they have made and why. If they explain their assessment tool and clinical indicators you might get a more direct answer. Again though I would have someone with you if possible.

[Ballerina123]

Update:
Called my cc this morning to see what is going on and they are currently organising a MHA. When ask why she said because I appear though disordered and my speech sometime makes no sense and as a result they think i need meds for disorganised speech. I said I didn't want meds and they said that's why they are doing a MHA so they can force meds.

Anyway I said I will try the meds if it keeps me out of hospital. They said that if they keep me out of hospital I will need to see the htt twice a day and have supervised meds. Which doesn't fill me with joy but if i stay off section then I guess it's ok.
Htt are coming round in 10 mins with the psych to assess me (again).
I'm just gonna agree to it all because it's not worth the argument anymore. And the last this i want is forced meds/section.

Also my cat is ill which is just adding to the stress because I'm really worried about her. Another reason why I need to stay out of hospital.

[in_BPD_hell]

I am so glad you understand where it is at now. that's good to hear
good luck with the MHA and I hope you manage to cooperate with HTT
keep us updated

[tamobhuuta]

how did you get on with the HTT today?

[tiptoes]

I'm sorry that you are having to back on medication. I know you were hoping to manage med free. Try not to be disappointed you have given it everything you can and accepting medication now, however begrudgingly, doesn't mean that there won't be an option to try again without medication in the future.

Hope you are ok and that you cat is feeling better.

[Ballerina123]

Thanks for the support guys.

The MHA was ok. I'm not really sure what it's called but im on a kind of "semi" section. Basically htt will give me my meds daily and if I refuse them at any point all the paper work is in to put me on a section 3 in hospital and force meds.
So I'm kind of being forced them now because I had no choice to say no.
I think they are wrong to put me on meds and they will ruin everything.
Anyway it's just the situation for now and ill just have to play their game for a while.

my cat is ok though. She is ill but the vet gave her lots of medication and although it cost me a fortune he said she will be fine which helps my anxiety and stress level.

[in_BPD_hell]

A community treatment order?
Hope if helps!
Sorry it's not what you wanted but at least your at home not in hospital

[Arienette]

I'm glad your cat is ok. I hope that you're ok and manage to stay home like you want to.

xx

[Ballerina123]

Just wondering when you said you have insight, if you notice any of these things in yourself?

If so and you notice them happening, do you see them as issues?

If not, and other people are saying they notice them, I would honestly question why it is you do not notice them, and question your insight.
i don't see those things in myself. But my doc and cc have been saying regularly "what do you mean?" As if they don't alway understand, which is frustrating but I guess I can see to them why this is the case.

I'm not sure about insight. I feel I have it but it's is obviously being questioned so I'm not sure where I stand.

In terms of weather I see it it as an issue: not really i think i function fine.

[Ballerina123]

Auror - not being able to go out because of auditory hallucinations is not normal for me no. So i guess that has changed but it's not bothering me too much because I don't mind being at home. But yes I would probably see this as an issue in a friend so I can see your point.
I don't recognise the speech problem so it's hard to make a judgement on that. I do often feel people are just not listening right.


Anyway I'm trying to stay positive.
Although the meds have not changed my thinking they have made me feel more relaxed which I guess is good. It's only been 3 days though so I'm sort of just waiting to see if anything else changes.
Another positive is that I've not really noticed any side effects except a bit of a hung over feeling when I wake up in the morning.

I'm worried about the thoughts going completely though because I quite like some of them (hense why i didnt want meds); They are like my company when I'm home alone.

Anyway I'll see how it goes.
I'm complying now so hopefully soon all of this will be over.

[Ballerina123]

Also i did go out today to buy a new diary so I guess the team will see that as a positive. I didn't particularly enjoy it but I did it anyway.

[in_BPD_hell]

Very positive! Xx

[tamobhuuta]

I think it's good you went out. how are you feeling now?