Where to get help?

[emmyloves]

For the past 12 months now i have been back and fourth to my doctors and consultant (well to my consultant only 2/3 times and them appointments are months apart but they have done nothing to help me. My consultant promises me that he will sort out childcare for me so i can have the physiotherapy which to him i REALLY need but when i phone up to see whats going on (as its been months now) hes secretary doesn't know anything about him referring me to a CPN to get childcare or anything and you can never get to speak to him and my doctors just refer me to the crisis team for a few days and then they discharge me and don't do anything anyway.

When i was 14 i got diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and depression and just a few months ago diagnosed me with BPD. I've been in two adolescent units, several hospital stays for overdoses etc..
Now i am 23.

Recently i hit crisis mode where i deliberately ate a cashew nut (i have a servere nut allergy) so my friend rushed me to hospital, they treated me, next day they put me in a crisis home for two weeks (like restbite) which was pointless because they just left you to your own devices, it wasn't a secure unit or anything, i even slashed my wrists infront of them, they did nothing so i rang an ambulance myself who came to calm me down and who were going to admit me but i said no in the end. When this episode happened my child was with her dads mum and she took over the childcare for awhile. Its a long story i wont bore you with but i thought i'd drop in that my child was safe during all this.

I just don't know where to get help anymore, my consultants useless, my doctors are useless, i have a small child and now because of my episode social services are involved when this could of been avoided. All i really want is a counselor or a CPN and some meds. Its not fair when i talk to other people they seem to have this and i don't. I'm sorry if it comes across as me being some kind of a spoilt child and I WANT IT NOW! kind of thing but this has been going on for years now since leaving adolescent services who were fantastic i know services are really stretched with cut backs and what have you but what am i meant to do?? I'm just so tired and frustrated. Everyday is a struggle to just survive and theirs not a day that goes by that i don't think about ending my life, its like i don't matter at all. I do want to get better, i just don't know how to control my emotions or when i'll hit crisis mode again because it could happen at any moment say like an epileptic shock.

Anyway sorry for rambling hope that makes sense.

:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

[frenchhorn]

have you asked your GP or consultant for a referral to a counsellor or the CMHT?

I had to fight for 3 and a half years before I got a care co-ordinator, although it may seem like everyone else has the support, they don't always and even if they do it may have been a long fight. I also don't have a therapist at the moment and am waiting for a referral from my psychiatrist.

what do you want from a care co-ordinator? They don't just give people a care co-ordinator because of a diagnosis, there has to be proof there is need for one, I'm not at all saying you don't need one, but maybe try to think abouut what you want from one.
Unfortunately because of money cuts and resources not everyone who needs a care co-ordinator is getting one and even if you have one they can't stay forever (I could lose my care co-ordinator because of money cuts soon)

I am sorry you have been through so much and are struggling at the moment.
DBT is usually recommended for people with BPD, so maybe ask your GP or consultant about that and ask for a referral.

[emmyloves]

have you asked your GP or consultant for a referral to a counsellor or the CMHT?

I had to fight for 3 and a half years before I got a care co-ordinator, although it may seem like everyone else has the support, they don't always and even if they do it may have been a long fight. I also don't have a therapist at the moment and am waiting for a referral from my psychiatrist.

what do you want from a care co-ordinator? They don't just give people a care co-ordinator because of a diagnosis, there has to be proof there is need for one, I'm not at all saying you don't need one, but maybe try to think abouut what you want from one.
Unfortunately because of money cuts and resources not everyone who needs a care co-ordinator is getting one and even if you have one they can't stay forever (I could lose my care co-ordinator because of money cuts soon)

I am sorry you have been through so much and are struggling at the moment.
DBT is usually recommended for people with BPD, so maybe ask your GP or consultant about that and ask for a referral.

I am going to make an appointment with my go when I go back home next week as I am in Birmingham at the moment staying with my family. I live in derby.
I just want a counsellor I can talk to every week and work through my issues with. I don't even want physiotherapy but if my consultant thinks I really need it then so be it. It's costing them more money referring me back and fourth to crisis teams and going to a&e every 5 mins and having social workers involved. I've had DBT it doesn't do anything.

It's disheartening with the fact that my ex who also suffers with BPD and says that "he puts it on" so he can claim his benefits gets thrown an oppucational therapist, hospital units left right and centre and leaves the unit after two days cause he wants to get home, have KFC, sleep in his king size bed and watch his big telly, he hates being told what to do and authority figures so you could imagine what a surcure unit did for him. Every mental health professional seems to be tip toeing around him. But when it comes to me who has had a load of mental health history behind me since the day I was born who should they spend the money on? I'm not jealous of him or anything it's just so disheartening because he said himself his attention seeking. I'm sorry if not many people agree with me about this but it's just how I feel. I'm sick to death of the cuts I have a small child for gawd sake I deserve at least some support even if it's so little. It's not our problem services are cut.

[frenchhorn]

I'm a bit confused what physiotherapy has got to do with your mental health, of course a physical injury/illness can affect MH, but you appear to be saying you need the physiotherapy for your mental health.

I was having counselling and then when I was diagnosed with BPD I was told by the psych who diagnosed me that I would need more intense therapy as counselling wasn't nearly enough and I could probably outwit the counsellor, or something, can't remember his exact words.

You need to remember that a counsellor is different from a care co-ordinator, and if you say you want a care co-ordinator just to talk to once a week, then chances are you won't get one (that is pretty much what I said the first time I was referred and was told they don't do that)

I hope when you get the appointment with your GP it goes ok for you.

[emmyloves]

[QUOTE=frenchhorn;3845437]I'm a bit confused what physiotherapy has got to do with your mental health, of course a physical injury/illness can affect MH, but you appear to be saying you need the physiotherapy for your mental health.

I was having counselling and then when I was diagnosed with BPD I was told by the psych who diagnosed me that I would need more intense therapy as counselling wasn't nearly enough and I could probably outwit the counsellor, or something, can't remember his exact words.

You need to remember that a counsellor is different from a care co-ordinator, and if you say you want a care co-ordinator just to talk to once a week, then chances are you won't get one (that is pretty much what I said the first time I was referred and was told they don't do that)

I hope when you get the appointment with your GP it goes ok for you.[/ Psychotherapy I meant sorry. :eyeroll:
That's exactly what I was told I need something more intense than just talking therapy but why promise me something and then it don't happen. It doesn't cost to just at least have some communication with me.
So what am I supposed to do then, when they ask you what help do you think you need, you tell them for ex "oh maybe this could help" and then they don't give it you. What am I meant to do. It's a joke. I am unwell. I don't know what "right" things to say to em anymore. It's like no one cares.

[frenchhorn]

ah ok, no worries, I was just a bit confused, should have realised myself you meant psychotherapy, sorry.

I know it is very frustrating, trust me I understand, as I said I spent over 3 years fighting and having referrals and about 5 different psychs agree I needed to be under the CMHT, but they kept refusing me.

[Ballerina123]

You could put in a complaint and ask them to investigate why you aren't being able to access these services.
It may not rectify the situation but it should help you to understand why they feel these treatments are not appropriate or can wait.

Do you have a care plan? If so you can use that as evidence that you have been offered therapy but they havnt sent the referral.

There are many reasons why your bf may get more time with services. E.g they may feel he has limited capacity when it comes to his behaviours. There maybe an "attention seeking" element, but sometimes attention seeking can be dangerous and need more monitoring by services.

[x-Silvermist-x]

Hi, how are you feeling today? I would be persistent with your psychiatrist so that you have the best chance of accessing therapy. How long did you do DBT for, was there a follow up?

x

[emmyloves]

You could put in a complaint and ask them to investigate why you aren't being able to access these services.
It may not rectify the situation but it should help you to understand why they feel these treatments are not appropriate or can wait.

Do you have a care plan? If so you can use that as evidence that you have been offered therapy but they havnt sent the referral.

There are many reasons why your bf may get more time with services. E.g they may feel he has limited capacity when it comes to his behaviours. There maybe an "attention seeking" element, but sometimes attention seeking can be dangerous and need more monitoring by services.

Hi, how are you feeling today? I would be persistent with your psychiatrist so that you have the best chance of accessing therapy. How long did you do DBT for, was there a follow up?

x

I think I will put in a complaint. I don't have a care plan or anything. All I have is a consultant who I see every 3/6 months and my GP. No meds or anything. At least put me on meds but they feel that won't do anything.

Everyday I want to die, I feel emotional pain and low. I don't know how I feel one min to the next and these crisis keep happening and i have to get rushed to A&E, I've had enough. My daughters social worker is going to get onto them hopefully that pushes me forward to somewhere and I did DBT in the crisis house I was in few weeks ago the staff were not very supportive they just gave me a booklet and told me to get on with it. Also had it when I was in adolescent didn't do anything.

[sherlock holmes]

DBT is a complicated therapy. One course takes about 9 months, and that's having a group session and an individual session every single week. Often two courses are recommended. There are lots of skills to learn that MUST be practised daily for the therapy to work.

Just because you've tried it twice doesn't mean it was given to you properly, or that you had the opportunity to practice daily. Don't write it off because you think it hasn't worked. If you get a chance to do it again, then you'll need to throw all of your effort into it. After all, if you're suicidal then you can't get any lower, and DBT will give you your life back if done properly.