Flashbacks that are real?

[when.will.it.end]

Does anyone feel like their flashbacks are real? I have this backwards thought/core belief/whatever that my flashbacks are real and that if I stop being dissociated for a second I'll wake up and find myself in the middle of being raped or any number of other horrible things I see and feel. It's not safe to not be dissociated, even for a second. So I remain in this low level state of dissociation all the time. I try and explain this to people but they don't understand because I'm functioning on the outside and can maintain conversations/life. I don't understand it either. If nothing is real and yet life is so stressful why do I bother doing any of it? I may as well be dead or on a beach in Thailand.

Am I making any sense?

[youonlyliveonce]

Yeh u r making sense I feel the same have u tried grounding techniques they might help I have a bowl of water by my bed n I splash my face wen it's really bad or get in a cold shower clothed or unclothed

[iamatortoise]

I think I understand what you are saying. As said above could you try 'grounding' yourself when you're having flashbacks/dissociating? There are lots of different things you can try. I keep a necklace of beads with me at all times. I use them to fiddle with when I'm struggling but when I feel like I'm zoning out or whatever I start counting them or focus on what colour a specific bead is.

Could you do something like that or listen to music?

Have you spoken to anyone like a Doctor or psych about it?

[when.will.it.end]

Thanks both.

I'm reluctant to put a lot of work in with grounding techniques because I feel like I need to be dissociated in order to be safe from flashbacks. But if I was using grounding techniques for flashbacks rather than dissociation then that might work. If that makes sense.

Yeah I've spoken to my therapist and CC about it. They are both understanding and say it's understandable why I think like this.

My appointments are hard at the moment. Really drilling home how bad the flashbacks and dissociation is.

[youonlyliveonce]

Keep going Hun cud u talk to ur cc n therapist bout how u can cope

[when.will.it.end]

Yeah I have talked to them both. Like I say they both say it's understandable

I'm really struggling with it today. Had a very bad night of nightmares last night, weird ****. Really graphic. It makes me not want to sleep. But I'm exhausted. Flashbacks all day, nightmares all night. I can't keep going like this.

[youonlyliveonce]

I know Hun I feel the same
My dbt therapist said to try n change the ending to the nightmares or put something on before u to to sleep so I up to sleep happier
Sum times wat is worse is the worry of the nightmares rather than the actual nightmares

Sending hugs

[when.will.it.end]

Thanks <3

Yeah, have no idea how to have enough control to change flashbacks or nightmares! Sometimes I try and stop them halfway through but don't usually manage it. Wish I had some sleeping tablets. Seeing a GP on Monday will hopefully get something then. Really hope I get some sleep tonight.

[youonlyliveonce]

Wats ur sleep hygiene like

[when.will.it.end]

Pretty good I think. The only thing I do that I shouldn't do is watching TV before bed but I find it quite grounding so I think that's why I do it. As far as I can tell it doesn't influence my nightmares. Maybe I shouldn't be doing it I don't know.

But I have a pretty set routine before bed. I've been having less baths since I moved here because the bath here is a bit crap which doesn't help but other than that it's alright.

[when.will.it.end]

I can't sleep :( it's not safe..