"Say Here" thread

[The War Doctor]

Wasn't the Say Here thread supposed to be unlocked yesterday?

[Snow White.]

I thought so. I reported it so the mods could see :)
Because not everyone was staring intently at the date like me.

[FabulousMike]

You're never getting it back mwhahaha ;)

[[Luna]]

http://i1299.photobucket.com/albums/ag65/mfarley74/but-i-want-it_zps4cf093a2.gif

[Snow White.]

SO GOOD.

[Pomegranate]

*bumpity bump bump*

Any word on the grand reopening...or lack of?

[random.swirls]

It should be soon!

[Snow White.]

Thank you :)

[Pomegranate]

Huzzah!

[MunchBox]

Hallelujah, praise the Lord. It's been a long year.

[lau_83]

What's a say here thread?

[Patent Pending]

It's the 'Say here what you can't say to someone/get something off your chest thread' it's stickied at the top of the Serious forum.

x x x

[whirlpools]

In all seriousness, I still have worried feelings about the say here thread. I think it can be a great tool, but it can also be one to induce paranoia in the RYL community. That may be denied but it's clearly.been used to hurt members in the past. With so many people fighting a hard bottle in their lives, let's just be mindful of that and that we are all survivors of difficult circumstances, however that manifests.

[whirlpools]

Oh, I just wanted to add in case it isn't clear, as I think it's important, I mean that as a general comment and certainly not about anyone specifically.

[Snow White.]

I understand, that general mindfulness should translate to the rant forums also which are essentially very similar if you want it to be. Ie. It's not isolated to that thread.

I think it would be nice that if people abuse the privilege of the thread they get banned from it, instead of closing it again. Just my 2 cents there but hopefully all this won't be an issue again :)

[ASkatersDream...]

I agree with whirlpools and don't get why so many people get hung up over one thread. If I was mods due to number of rule breaking that happened I wouldn't even think about opening it again

[Snow White.]

Because to some people it's a safe place for expression. I know you may not understand that if you don't use it for that but I'd hope that you and others can appreciate that.

This is not the only thread that's had a lot of rule breaks. The safe room didn't get closed when it happened in there and sometimes the bpd thread breaks out into rule breaking too but those posts are just removed.

Anyway this is an irrelevant post without hearing from the mods and what they are thinking.

[griddlebone]

I have to say, I also believe that this thread lends very much to the paranoia of the community. Although the safe room etc do have their fair share of rule breaking, the volume in the Say Here thread was vast and unmanageable. The thread have very good intentions at the beginning, however it turned into a place full of subtle flaming and general unpleasantness.

I am hoping that now it has been giving breathing space and some time off that perhaps it wont fall into that cycle again. I do think that for those members who were involved in the issues on that thread, before it reopens it might be a good idea to just evaluate what the issues were and try not to recreate the same behaviour.

I personally believe in members having another chance with this thread, although I cant lie and say Im not dreading it being reopened because it was such a drain on time before.

However members here aren't immature or children for the most part and I believe taking things away from people rarely helps to fix things in the long run. We did agree to it being locked for a year, so it is only fair for it to reopen and given a chance.

My two cents as both a mod and a member, my opinion is my own and I dont speak for the rest of the mods!

[Bishop]

It's going to happen. It happens in the Safe House/Room, in RVs, in Serious. People make good friends, and good enemies here. I won't lie, I do it in m RV a fair bit, but it's generally really obvious who I'm on about (:tongue2:)

I guess there's not much that can be done? A disclaimer?

[griddlebone]

There will be guidelines in place when it reopens, we're ironing it out at the moment.

[Snow White.]

Thanks Liv, lovely to hear from a mods perspective. I feel like it wasn't always such a big problem but maybe more so recently? I understand why you'd be dreading it open and I bet if I was a mod I'd be the same. But I really hope it goes okay :(

[Snow White.]

I have a suggestion, you may have already thought of it :)

But is it worth unsticking this thread and starting a new one so you can put the new guidelines super clearly in this first post and also it will be a fresh start?

Maybe even a name change so that posts are not like specifically "say to other people" posts, but framed as a mini rant space?

Just ideas! I'm sure you've got many. Thanks mods x

[Snow White.]

Can we have an update?

I liked my ideas to try and keep it on the right track but I guess nobody else did :/

[Ardea]

I think your ideas sound good! There will probably always be problems with that thread - but it might be worth trying to change some things. I was just waiting to see what would happen when it was reopened. After four weeks - I'm starting to think there's a good chance it won't be reopening. An update would be nice though - so I could stop checking on it.

[Snow White.]

Yeah the mods said it would be reopened so I trust that. I guess they're putting a lot of effort into ensuring it goes as smoothly as possible from the beginning, which is sensible.

[griddlebone]

It's all very quiet on the mod front at the moment, I will try and bump it and see if we can get it launched :)

[Snow White.]

Thank you Liv :)

[LilMissEmma]

So were people bitching about people in said thread?

[talaiporia]

Yep. :) It was closed briefly (a month?) but it continued to escalate so it was closed for a year last March.

[LilMissEmma]

Wowsers.

You'd think people would be more subtle if they were gonna do that.

[griddlebone]

It wasn't just that, it was mostly that the thread was being used for conversation between members, whereas it was supposed to be just posting what you wanted to say to someone, not to converse with them about it on the thread.

[LizzieRose]

In my opinion, I'd just use my RV thread to say things to people. However, I've never said anything about other members in my RV thread before. I love you guys too much to even think of doing that. Though I have mentioned my thoughts on RYL before in it, but they were thoughts of paranoia "You guys don't like me", "I should disappear", so they were not clear thoughts, nor were they about any members, just me being paranoid. xD

[Snow White.]

Hello mods, just wondering if we could have an update please on how this is going?

Thanks so much :)

[Cryptic.]

I think a lot of members and bullies on here used it against other members, and would simply put "Not about anyone here" when clearly it was, however, there was a time when this thread was so useful for letting things out, I just hope it doesn't go down that kind of road again where it is locked and members use it wrongly.

And I'm not saying I haven't done this either, because I have, I am not claiming perfection when it comes to this thread, for me, it was very difficult NOT to retaliate to people who used that thread as a way to attack me and many others.

I hope when it is unlocked, things will be much calmer and the dust will have settled and it can be used for the original reason it was opened. :)

[Pi.R^2]

It wasn't just that, it was mostly that the thread was being used for conversation between members, whereas it was supposed to be just posting what you wanted to say to someone, not to converse with them about it on the thread.
Correct me if I'm wrong (the thread has been deleted so I can't check), but wasn't one of the main points raised in the FCQ thread about the safe room that the safe room ''rules' aren't actual rules and so one could only really politely ask people to follow them and it wasn't something mods wanted to get involved in policing? Why is it different for this particular 'sub-rule' of the say here thread? Obvs flaming is against the whole forum rules so that is a completely different kettle of fish, but supporting people isn't, so why is the same logic not being applied here?

I reiterate, I'm only going on what I remember of that thread, so please accept my apologies if I've remembered incorrectly!

[griddlebone]

Correct me if I'm wrong (the thread has been deleted so I can't check), but wasn't one of the main points raised in the FCQ thread about the safe room that the safe room ''rules' aren't actual rules and so one could only really politely ask people to follow them and it wasn't something mods wanted to get involved in policing? Why is it different for this particular 'sub-rule' of the say here thread? Obvs flaming is against the whole forum rules so that is a completely different kettle of fish, but supporting people isn't, so why is the same logic not being applied here?

I reiterate, I'm only going on what I remember of that thread, so please accept my apologies if I've remembered incorrectly!

The 'say here' wasn't a rule, but it was the point of the thread as stated in the title, therefore by starting conversations in the thread it was counted as thread hijacking, which isn't the case in the safe room.

[Pi.R^2]

ah, ok, that makes sense I guess. It's just sometimes hard not to- like, when someone posts a picture in one of the picture boards and adds a comment like "sorry about my face", and you can't help but add a little comment in your reply about how their face is delightful, even if the point of the thread is to show off baking or recently purchased items.

The thought of there being a thread on a support site where supportive replies are considered hijacking doesn't sit easy with me, but I respect that that's the decision of the moderators and will argue no further.

[griddlebone]

The thought of there being a thread on a support site where supportive replies are considered hijacking doesn't sit easy with me, but I respect that that's the decision of the moderators and will argue no further.

Most of the time it wasn't supportive replies, it was people having conversations. There are many other threads where supportive replies are encouraged, along with there being many 'sofa' threads etc for conversing. This thread wasn't made for that purpose. We aren't trying to discourage people from being supportive to others, but that wasn't what was happening on that thread for the most part.

[Pi.R^2]

I completely understand. Thank you for taking the time to clarify :)

[Pi.R^2]

^that was going to be my suggestion; when it's re-opened, it could be helpful for someone to post a reminder that if you want to reply to a say here post, the PM function is always there!

[Snow White.]

It's nearly been two months since it was supposed to be open, can we have an update or anything from the mods?

Thank you x

[Abintra]

so much anger so much tension, due to backstabbing it is any wonder this thread isn't back with heads like that who needs a body

[random.swirls]

Hi all

The moderators locked this thread for a year due to continued rule breaking. This thread is on it's last legs and if to much moderating is required than it will be locked and no further chances will be given.

This thread is not to be used as a way of inadvertantly talking to other members. So this means no posts should be about another member as in the past members have used this as a way of flaming. In addition we will not allow members to reply to posts as the last time this happened the moderators spent a lot of time editing posts etc.

If you have any questions about this please post them here.

The mods

[Snow White.]

Cam is it maybe worth starting fresh with a new thread in Serious so everything is very clear from the beginning? It's so long I worryv important mod notes will get lost and people won't check the first post because it's so old.

Also what did you think of the idea of renaming it? The thread is a merge of "say something here you can't say. ." And "get it off your chest", what if you just called it the latter which might seec less person communicating to others but still getting things of their chest.

I know I mentioned this earlier but I guess I wondered what your thoughts were, I feel like it might reduce the drama for you.

[random.swirls]

We did think about creating a new thread and my viewpoint is that at times we need to trust members to do the right thing. The thread has been locked for over a year and there have been discussions here and the rules are in the first post so if members choose to abuse it then we will close the thread a new thread wouldn't stop that I don't think.

One of the things that we are often accused of is bubble wrapping this site and I guess that to me one of the ways we can try to counteract this is by placing trust in members rather than removing the thread and in a way removing it's history.

I confess I missed the point about renaming it - do we have any ideas? I have added a bit saying that the rules are in post 1.

[Pi.R^2]

Whilst I think that's a nice idea Aimee, I wonder if perhaps the very fact that it was closed for an entire year will serve as adequate prevention of problems? I know if I had hypothetically (*shifty*) been part of the rule breaking that got it closed in the first place, I'd have spent the last year feeling awful for having ruined it for other people, and wouldn't even post in it at all, let alone break a rule.

ETA: I was out-ninja'd! I essentially agree with Camilla.

[talaiporia]

Re: names, there's "Pandora's Box" on the main site that's kind of the same.

[MunchBox]

Now it's open I'm a little apprehensive to post in it.
For the love of God, someone post in there first.

[Kyaneos]

^ that

[Bellatrix]

done.

[random.swirls]

Yep!!

[forever_lost]

Can I just say meaninglessly that one of the things I like most about the say-it thread is that posts are buried quickly? I like being able to write something then have it half-disappear. And that the posts take up really little attention and space. Unlike in a rant thread where I'll keep coming back to it and have to see it again, or worse, making a mark by getting a whole thread of its own. Sometimes I just want to put something out there, feel heard by letting everyone see even though no one cares much or knows what it's about, then be able to just forget about it. Especially if it's about something small, or if I don't need to say much.
So basically, thanks mods for giving it a second chance.