My best friend/roommate is using again :(

[aphrodesi]

My college roommate and one of my best friends has started using illicit drugs after a couple months of sobriety. She doesn't know that I know, but I happened to see her post about not wanting to be clean anymore on her blog and I walked into the room last night to find her high on benzos. I tried to confront her about it gently this morning, but she sort of brushed it off as an accident, and now she's "at a friend's house," and her blog says she's using with them.

I don't know how to be a supportive friend. I don't want to scold her or guilt her, despite the fact that it's really affecting my emotions as well (because she's one of my friends and I don't want anything bad happening to her), but I also don't want to enable her by pretending it isn't happening.

Does anyone have any advice about how to be a supportive friend to a relapsing drug abuser, while maintaining a semblance of sanity for oneself? I feel really lost and would appreciate any ideas you all might have.

Thanks so much!

[Wonderland.]

I'm sorry to hear that your friend is using again. It must be very worrying for you.

I've been through substance misuse of benzos (& other drugs) and from my experience it's very hard to come off of them because they are so physically and psychologically addictive. For me it was an escape from my problems. This may be the case for her too. It may be a sign of underlying issues.

It might be worth talking to her calmly and try to ask and understand why she feels the need to use. The only person that can make the decision to stop is her but a little persuasion and understanding can go a long way.

Stopping benzos needs to be a gradual process, and should be done under the care of a doctor, so they can taper off safely. It can be rather dangerous to just stop cold turkey.

Have you got any support at the moment? It can be very difficult seeing a loved one go down the path of drug use. So it is important that you look after yourself too.