Doing well. There is hope

[findingmyself]

I wont take harassment or calling me names only positive comments. If you don't want to reply then don't.

I have been doing really well I know its only been one week of school but I hope it keeps like this. Im trying my best to stay focused and not get upset over anything because it seems when I get upset about something it effects how I function which is not good for school. Im actually trying to make friends this semester Im talking a lot more. And quieting my job was hard but I love not working I feel so much more relaxed and have more time for hw. Last semester was crap because I was soo depressed about my psych abandoning me. So yeah Im trying to stay positive and motivated.

Jut a update I got a hug from my teacher today made me feel good {: its nice to know some one cares. He knows I struggle with school and has always been nice and understanding and been there for me.

I can honestly say I am a survivor I know I have a story and I need to share it one day. I know there is a reason God has put me through all this. Im very proud of myself because even though I struggle some how I never give up. Also meds are not every thing and only mask the problem. I never once give up and I want every one to know to never give up keep fighting even when you feel you don't want to or cant. Keep fighting. I never once give up never. Like when I got suspended from college and lost my job at the same time I didn't sit around I got up got a job and went to another college to get online classes. I dint give up when I had major depression for a year and 6 months. Didn't give up when I had akthasia. Didn't give up when they forced me to take meds to go back to school I just took the drug because I was willing to do anything to go back to school then stopped the med shortly after. When I was so depressed last semester because my psych abandoning me I didn't drop out of my classes I went to class and I went to my job still. I failed some of my classes and passed some with c. which was not great and really mad at myself but looking back I see I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I tried that's what really matters is I tried and to realize I was grieving and not to be to hard on myself to keep on trying.

Which Im doing Im still going to college never ever giving up. I will have my low times still feel like giving up some days but I always get back up. And that's what is important is getting back up when you fall and never ever give up. I know I have a story to tell to help others realize they can do it too and to never ever give up. I owe it all to God and Jesus they pick me back up and help me to keep going when I don't want to.


There is hope keep fighting :-)

[Indigo.]

Well done! I see you're doing well that's really good X

Focusing on your studies is the right thing to do :) I recall you saying how important going to college is for you, and I can really relate to that X

It's good to have support at school, so glad to hear that about your teacher.

I think you have a really mature attitude right now! Well done. :)

[findingmyself]

Thanks {:

[crazykat]

Well done, it is nice to hear a positive post. It sounds like your really trying your best. I am glad to hear you have made some new friends and that school is providing you with a bit of support. Well done

[findingmyself]

Thanks {: Im looking into some therapy groups I may try. As for individual therapy I don't think im ready to start that again. I feel I have put individual therapy behind me and I don't want to re visit that make me scared maybe in the future though who knows. I just want to focus on school and get to university.

[not_so_insig]

While it's great that you're doing well, I hope it lasts. Just that in the past you've posted that you are doing great & a week later you post that something has gone wrong. You do seem calmer than your previous post.

[crazykat]

That sounds like a good positive thing to focus on

[offlineforever]

Keep going Lauri.

[findingmyself]

Thanks {: I hope it last too hoping nothing goes wrong as long as I don't get close to any human beings then I will be good because they usually make me unstable.

Have a great weekend

[Copernicus]

Glad school is going well! Group therapy sounds a good thing to look into since you're had difficult experiences with the one-to-one stuff.

[findingmyself]

Thanks {: Hate how there is soo much stigma for borderline. trying to do group only dbt and the lady was like you have to do individual too to see if its right for you and to see if im not a danger. Its like oh my gosh so much stigma like seriously not every one that goes to DBT is borderline and not every that goes is crazy. Some people like me just normal human beings just want to learn some skills and get out. So much stigma its sickens me and hurts. So scared to call for the group because of that. And they wonder why people cant get help they deserve and want heres a perfect example on why.

Oh well the other group therapy im going to is easy to go to just had to sign up and show up. Thank you for treating my like a person not a disorder.

[offlineforever]

DBT is traditionally used for BPD and you are supposed to have both group and individual therapy for it. Or at least that is my understanding of it.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/an-overview-of-dialectical-behavior-therapy/0001096

[findingmyself]

yes I know. But some people just want to do group and they should be allowed. I may be allowed to do just group if I meet her once one on one but I don't know because I was too scared to call her today.

[offlineforever]

Sadly Lauri just because someone wants to do therapy a certain way doesn't always make it possible.

However, have you looked at the resources online for DBT? there are a lot around.

[Patent Pending]

I did half of my course of DBT only having group sessions - because they didn't have enough individual therapists for everyone. However, I strongly suggest having both because I found it a lot more effective with both.

x x x

[findingmyself]

Yup it sucks because there denying people help. Group therapy only may be all some people need. I may call her I don't know. The DBT therapist here are all snobbish and stuck up and stigma which is totally wrong. When Im a therapist I will never stigma its soo hurtful and now too I do not stigma any one.
Oh well whatever I have that other support group just going to get the paper work and then show up.

[findingmyself]

well as many know I know because I did DBT individual and one group before only saw her for like 2 months and then she gave up on me left me.

Right now Im not ready to go back to individual therapy. Maybe in the future I don't know. But right now Im not ready to go back to individual therapy. I have been deeply hurt by therapists and psych more than any one will understand or know.

[findingmyself]

ARRRGGG IT HAPPENED AGAIN SOOBB I DONT GET WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME SOOBBB I ASK GOD WHY WHY DOES HTIS HAPPEN TO ME OEVR AND OVER. IM CONSTANTLY DENIED HELP WHEN ALL I WANT IS HELP SO BADLY IM A NICE CARING PERSON ALL IW ANT IS HELP WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THERE ATTENTION KIL MYSELF.

SAW MY NEW PSYCH SHE KEEPS CALLING ME MANIC WHEN IM REALLY NOT AND BIPOLOR WHEN IM REALLY NOT I WENT IN THERE NICELY TALKING TO HER AND THEN GET TREATED LIKE **** SHE SAID SHE WOULDNT GIVE ME A ANTIDEPRESSANT WITH THE VYVANSE SO SHE WONT SEE ME SOOBBBB }: IM CRYING MY EYES OUT SOOOBBB }: I just don't get why I cant get help I should kil myself that would show them to listen to me.

[Albus Dumbledore]

Lauri, if you want help from professionals, you are going to need to learn to keep to their boundaries and listen to them. If you are going to get so upset over a conversation that is meant to help you, then you shouldn't be seeking help. I've read a lot of your posts and to be honest, it doesn't seem like you actually want help, you just want someone to indulge you, and that is not what professionals are there to do. Killing yourself wouldn't show anyone anything, it would just upset your friends and family, so I wouldn't suggest it.

[findingmyself]

really high right now tooka lot of benzo numbing this ****. and cut. I was listening to her I just had a different opinion that is all from ym experiances.

I was being nice every thing just siting there calmy talking to her asking if I oculd please have a antidepressant with the vyvanse. She said I couldn't have the antidepressant with the vyvanse and then she said I cant work with you. And then she wanted em to try other meds I didn't want to try. aND THEN SHE KEPY CALLING EM HYPOMANIC AND BIPOLOR WHICH WAS SOO ANYOING BECAUSE IM TOOTALY NOT BIPOLOR. I couldn't believe she did that to me I thought she wouldn't leave me. Why does this **** keep hapeping to em over and over its annoying I want to kill myaelf im sick of treated like this I WANT HELP I DO SOOBBB BUT NO ONE CARES THEY JUST DISMIS ME LIKE im less then a person soobbb/ I WANT HELP I don't get why she couldn't give me a antidepressant with vyvanse soooobbb to just try it see what happens so I can prove to her Im not bipolar I told her lets just try it if I do get manic in her words then ill take what she want me to take.



SOOBOB I HAVE NO T HELP NOW WHICHMEANS MY CONCETRATION I HORRIBLE IM GOING TO SERIOUSLY HAVE TO QIET COLLEGE IF I DONT GET SOME DRUG FOR CONCMTRATION IM GOING TO DIE I CANT KEEP LIVIVNG LIKE THIS I CANT DO COLLEGE WITHOUT THAT MED IM QITING COLLEGE ALL MY DREAMS ARE GONE. I TOLD HER IM CRYING MY EYES OUT HOW IS THATBIPOLOR ITS nott.

don't TELL ME IM WRONG WHEN IM RIGHT. JSUT COMFORT ME. IT HURTSS.

[Cersei]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this at the moment.

I don't think she is dismissing you as a person. It sounds like she just does not agree with you, why do you think you have reacted in such a way to her denying you an AD?

With College, are you receiving any support from them? Also, if things continue like this would you consider taking a year out and repeating? I know I spent three year in College, only suppose to be two, because of my MH. Taking that extra time did wonders for me and I'm now training to do what I've always wanted to do. Just because you may not do well this year does not mean that your dreams are gone.

[offlineforever]

Lauri, she may have refused to give you an AD as it might react with the other medication you take.

She isn't doing this to hurt you, she is doing it to help you. You need to learn how to react to these things properly. To me it sounds like she said she won't help you because you won't work with her. As soon as she said something you disagree with you start having a go and getting aggressive.

tbh I'm not surprised that we are back here again. You don't seem to learn anything at all.

[CaiteeBug]

Lauri, she may have refused to give you an AD as it might react with the other medication you take.

She isn't doing this to hurt you, she is doing it to help you. You need to learn how to react to these things properly. To me it sounds like she said she won't help you because you won't work with her. As soon as she said something you disagree with you start having a go and getting aggressive.

tbh I'm not surprised that we are back here again. You don't seem to learn anything at all.

I totally agree!! Honestly Lauri, what more do you want from this thread? We have supplied you with excellent advice that you choose to ignore time and again. I really don't know what else to tell you or how we can help you.

[findingmyself]

No she wouldn't give me antidepressant because of the interaction. She said I could take a anti depressant with vyvanse as long as I take the antidepressant at night and vyvanse in the morning. She wouldn't give me the antidepressant because she was afraid I would go manic on it. It made me mad because imnot maanic im not bipolar and she keeps saying I am and that hurts when im not I don't know why she says that when I come in nicely sit on her couch like a normal persona and answers her questions and stop talking when she stops tooo So how is that bipolar its NOTT I WAS NOT LIKE RUNING AROUND THE OFFICE I WAS NICELY SITING INT HE CHAIR ANSWRRING HER QUESTION. If I was talking fast a few times its because I felt rushed and because I was neverouse. So how in the hell was I hypomanic and bipolar I WASENT IM NOT.


She said she would only give me a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic with the vyvanse and I just told her no nicely that I don't need those meds and that Im not going to put meds into my body that I don't need and are more dangerous. I asked her to please jut give me a low doe sof the antidepressant with the vyvanse just let me try prove to you I wont get manic that im not bipolar but she wont listen soobbbb. }:

Going to ask my general doctor if she will prescribe it to me or forget about it all together.

[findingmyself]

I took that online bipolar quiz it said I was not bipolar.

[ajrocks]

Hi lauri i'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way :(
I just wondered why are you so certain and against the fact you may be bipolar? Just because 'you are not running around the office' and just because you took an online quiz that says you aren't does not mean you don't have it.Their are many different forms of bipolar and it effects people in different ways some people don't even have an episode for years and others rapid cycle all the time their are so many variations.
From your previous posts and here it seems to me that you go up and down a lot and that when you fall you fall hard and when you're happy you are extremely happy. to me amongst other things you've written that does sound very much like bipolar-it sounds like me and I do have bipolar and I was in denial for a long time but once I listened to the professionals and got the help I needed and the right medication I was stable for a long time (I am only not stable at the moment due to other issues in my life.)
I'm not saying you definetly have it,i'm not a professional after all but i am saying that professionals as a particular rule of thumb do not say things for no reason they really don't like labelling people if they're not 100% sure.
Bipolar isn't a life sentence and its not a bad thing it can be managed thats all.
I think that she only has your best interests at heart and it would be very irresponsible for her to let you try a drug that she thinks could potentially send you manic and just cross her fingers it doesn't.
Try to put aside your reservations if you go again and take onbourd the things they say as it sounds like you do want help,you're just scared to listen which is understandable but its the only way you're going to move forward.take care

[tilly_bear]

Lauri, just to clarify so we can support you as best we can. When you post, my inital response is to give practical advice or a possible explanation. I think what you prefer is just to have people express emapathy rather than trying to "fix it". Have I understood that right?

[Morpheus]

You seem to take what she says as some sort of punishment. Like if you behave and not yell at people etc. They shouldnt say these things. It is not a punishment. She has your well being at interest. If we could diagnose ourselves, then why would we ever need psychiatric help? She is there to help you and of course she wouldnt give you a medication she believed could make you manic.

Also, you claim to be so against meds, put up articles on the forum etc. Then why, why do you depend so much on medications to fix your life, your concentration, your school life? The medication is not there to fix you, it is there to help you. You were sure the yvanse would fix your life however it didnt so now you are looking for a new drug. Maybe try to focus on you, what you can do rather than looking for a medication to fix your life. Cause quite honestly, the odds of finding that, are almost non existant.

You need to take responsibility for your life. The professionals are not saying these things to hurt you. Its not a matter of behaving and then they will do as YOU say they should. They have medical training, you dont. You see them because quite simply, you are not qualified but more than anything, it seems like you just want to manipulate them into doing what you want and when they refuse, you get angry and upset and they are hurting you, abusing you etc. They are not here to agreee with you or do as you say. They are here to guide you, challenge you, help you and most of all, teach you how to help yourself.

[findingmyself]

I don't think she has the right to call me bipolar when she has only seen me two times she has no right. This could just be my personality not bipolar Has she seen me crash if im bipolar like she says no she has not seen me crash so she has no right to call me bi0plar from seeing me only two times.

Yes I want sympathy and empathy on here.


I just know im not bipolar I don't struggle like they do. Im able to hold down a job and go to college all off meds. I never get depressed for no reason. I don't crash. I have never experienced manic. I don't go on spending sprees. And I go to college and don't do nay thing manic I don't talk fast nothing Im quiet in class all the time and talk only when I want to or asking a question or something. I don't do bizarre things.

No the vyvanse worked its just when I went off of it on the weekends it made me depressed so I just want a low does antidepressant with the vyvanse to see if that will prevent me from getign depressed when I stop taking the vyvanse. I just want help with concentration that's all.

Thanks for being nice. Im not in denial. I just don't want to take meds I don't need and that are more dangerous than antidepressant.

Seeing my general doc tomorrow keeping my fingers crossed il get the meds I want.

[Cacoethes]

Stephen Fry has bipolar and he's been pretty successful at pretty much everything he does.

How do you know that the meds you want are not dangerous but the other ones are dangerous?

[Morpheus]

I think we have all witnessed you crash over the past couple of weeks though.

[FabulousMike]

Laura, I read back on page one you were looking into group therapy or something?

I do group therapy and I must warn you, people will not agree with you all the time and I know you have issues when it comes to people not agreeing with you.

If it's anything like my group (which I hope it would be) it will be hard and I mean hard! You have to take responsibility for everything you do, you have to explain yourself sometimes in different ways so everyone will understand and it can be hard sitting there for like 3 hours hearing others speak about problems.

Of course i'm talking about myself and my group that I go to but just remember, it will be hard and you have to keep the other members in mind.

[findingmyself]

well maybe the crash you saw was the day I stopped the vyvanse and got depressed. This is weird but her leaving me is really not bothering me well of course yesterday it bothered me I poped a benzo and cut and today called her a lot of times and emailed her but now im over it I don't even want to talk to her maybe because I have a feeling my general doc will give me what I want. Im just over it quickly because I have been through this many times and know she's not worth it its a waster of my time to get all stressed about it so im just going to let it go forget about her.

I feel good lately I think because I quit my job. I really like just going to college and not going to a job too. Im having some concentration issues lately that why i wait til the last minute to do my hw but I think im doing better at getting hw done so far that is we will see how it gets when there is harder and more work.

Yes Im tying one group its self harm group therapy.

[offlineforever]

This is weird but her leaving me is really not bothering me well of course yesterday it bothered me I poped a benzo and cut and today called her a lot of times and emailed her but now im over it I don't even want to talk to her

This is a massive contradiction Lauri. If it didn't bother you at all you wouldn't be starting to spam call her.

You are just repeating past behaviours and not taking anything on board as to how your actions are causing this. You cannot move forward until you realise that the majority of your problems and reactions stem from you.

[ajrocks]

I was able to hold down a job before I was diagnosed and go to college for 4 years to get a diploma albeit a struggle without medication,so it can be done,just putting that out there.
Not everything you read or see on T.V are typical of someone having it in real life and soaps often go for the worst case scenario that's all.
Does this therapist you saw twice have access to your past notes I wonder?

[findingmyself]

Its not contracting myself if I say yes I was upset but now im not. I have stopped calling and emailing her and if she calls tomorrow I probably will just ignore it im over it. Ill be okay.

Nope she doesn't have access to my past notes I didn't allow it and she didn't ask for them. ajrocks if that is the case then psychiatrists need to stop telling people that have bipolar that they have to be on meds for life.

Any ways Il be okay I have a good general doctor she knows about my mental health stuff so Im not too worried about seeing her tomorrow. I know she really cares about me and always on my side.

Looking forward tomorrow we are starting to swim in my college swim class tomorrow. I love swimming.

[findingmyself]

And I never said I was totally against psychiatric drugs what I was saying was lots of things things need to change about them .

[FabulousMike]

Yes Im tying one group its self harm group therapy.

Good luck with that but is a therapeutic group or a support group? There are massive differences between the two.

[ajrocks]

Its not contracting myself if I say yes I was upset but now im not. I have stopped calling and emailing her and if she calls tomorrow I probably will just ignore it im over it. Ill be okay.

Nope she doesn't have access to my past notes I didn't allow it and she didn't ask for them. ajrocks if that is the case then psychiatrists need to stop telling people that have bipolar that they have to be on meds for life.

Any ways Il be okay I have a good general doctor she knows about my mental health stuff so Im not too worried about seeing her tomorrow. I know she really cares about me and always on my side.

Looking forward tomorrow we are starting to swim in my college swim class tomorrow. I love swimming.

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're saying here? please can you rephrase or something-I don't understand the part about psychiatrists need to stop telling people that have bipolar that they have to be on meds for life-eh come again??

glad you have a good G.P and i'm glad you're looking forward to swimming also which country are you in? uk?

[findingmyself]

I said that because if people can go to college and have a job that are bipolar like you were explaining you did all off meds and I have too then that shows that bipolar people can live there life off meds that they do not need to be on it forever.

Im in the U.S

I don't know if its a support group or what it is I have never been but its in a therapist office and Im pretty sure the therapist leads the group. So it could be both support and also therapeutic.

I was going to do the DBT group therapy too but since I have to meet her for individual first I don't think Im going to do it. They always cause drama in my life and hurt me and I don't want that. I just want to be happy.

about to go swimming in a few hours {: little nervous about wearing the swim cap im going to look so ugly.

[FabulousMike]

I said that because if people can go to college and have a job that are bipolar like you were explaining you did all off meds and I have too then that shows that bipolar people can live there life off meds that they do not need to be on it forever.

Im in the U.S

I don't know if its a support group or what it is I have never been but its in a therapist office and Im pretty sure the therapist leads the group. So it could be both support and also therapeutic.

I was going to do the DBT group therapy too but since I have to meet her for individual first I don't think Im going to do it. They always cause drama in my life and hurt me and I don't want that. I just want to be happy.

about to go swimming in a few hours {: little nervous about wearing the swim cap im going to look so ugly.
You have to keep in mind that everyone is different though, just because one person can get by without meds doesn't mean others can...

Enjoy swimming.

[ajrocks]

Ok now i understand what you mean and i think i may not have made myself clear what i meant was yes i did do all of that without meds HOWEVER if i had been diagnosed sooner and had the medication i would not have probably done some of the really silly and dangerous things and upset a lot of people half as much ad i did and i probably could have got a better mark om my coursewprk and had help with my concentration issues or struggled so badly during pregnancy and other episodes when i was put on an antidepressant tjat sent me manic and thats just half the story so yess people with bipolar when it effects them that badly DO need to be on medication because without it its a danger.however some people with bipolar aren't on meds but it very much depends upon their symptoms,doctors etc.
I only asked bout where you were just because im the uk we don't usuallu get asked if we want our notes passed to the next therapist is all they norm just do it.
I stand by what i say when i say a therapist,psych etc do not say things for no reason.i hope one day you might be able to open up and let them in.take care

[Pomegranate]

People also cope differently at different times. I'm very recently diagnosed with Bipolar alongside traits of BPD. I completed college with no meds and only the odd counselling session. At the moment/the last year or so I've really struggled to deal with University and had to defer all exams/homework for several months. I'm on Seroquel XL at the moment but it doesn't mean I'll be on it forever! Even my psychiatrist said that and she lowered the dose when I requested it. At the moment you've said you are struggling a lot with college. Regardless of what your diagnosis is, maybe it would be worth listening to the advice of your doctors. You do seem very erratic with how you post on here and this isn't the first time someone has suggested a mood stabiliser is it? A mood stabiliser would also help with your depressed moods (if they are caused by bipolar disorder or something similar). I know your opinions re side effect etc but surely trying one medication for a while is better than being on multiple meds (like vyvanse, anti depressant, benzos etc)?

[findingmyself]

Thanks all. Im sorry you struggle too I think every one struggle s in college its so dam hard and so much stress. Keep going for what you want let nothing stop you.

Seeing my general doctor went well she is s nice and really cares about me and always on my side I love her {: Never gets me in trouble never overreacts and understands and accepts I know my body best. So she did exactly what I wanted gave me a antidepressant for night and vyvanse in the morning. It s just to try to see if taking the low does antidepressant will help prevent me from getting depression when I stop the vyvanse on the weekends. Nervous about taking the antidepressant but since im taking it at night it may feel like im not even taking it. Im done with psychiatrists I have learned my lesson to just go to my general doc for drugs now. And I met a really nice police officer today lol Im not going to get into that story but he was super nice and on my side {: didn't think I was crazy or anything and told me its not my fault these people keep not helping me{:

Im doing really well off meds mood wise I feel great but govt is a lot of work load which is stressing me out im behind in the work that's stressing me out so hopefully the vyvanse will help with that.

Good luck with school all

[Morpheus]

Your GP sounds irresponsible. To go against a psychiatrists advice just because you want an antidepressant.

You only like her cause she does as you say, give you the drugs you want etc. The moment someone challenge you or doenst agree with you, you react like a child and claim they do not want to help you. If you know so much about how you should be treated etc, then why do you insist on seeing professionals? You clearly dont need them.

[findingmyself]

Well she said she is going to ask for the psych notes too. And this general doctor in the very beginning gave me Zoloft and saw how I was fine on it so yeah she's pretty sure ill be fine on it. And she said what I was asking was reasonable and doesn't see no problem. She said many people take stimulants with antidepressants. Im just going to see my general doctor from now on {: Well I like her too because she really listens to me and doesn't try to argue how I feel like many psych.

Im just trying to do well in school I don't want a mess like last time with all the **** they put me through. I want to take my meds get to school pass be productive and make friends and do well.

Its too dam early right now lol I have to get to class. Take care

[FabulousMike]

Well I hope you do well at school but i'm starting to see your behaviours a lot and no offence, a pill will not help with those...You need to see a head doc.

[Cacoethes]

Sometimes feelings and behaviours need to be challenged.
If you go through life with people going 'awww hugs have some pills' nothing is going to change. Meds can certainly help, but they don't help with the underlying causes. To help with underlying causes, you sometimes need to be challenged and need to hear things you don't want to hear. That's how therapy tends to work.

[FabulousMike]

Sometimes feelings and behaviours need to be challenged.

Ain't that the truth!

[findingmyself]

It s just going to help with concentration and getting things done. But yeah I agree but every ones different it works for some and others it doesn't. Maybe in the future but right now I don't need drama I just need to focus on school.

[findingmyself]

Been having these weird dreams lately for like a week. And there the kind you remember when you wake up. Really weird I don't know why this is happening its not the meds I haven't started it yet. Have a good weekend all.

[findingmyself]

Arrg mom forgot to pick up my antidepressant. I was supposed to take it tonight because I want to start the vyvanse again Monday. Im scared to take it bec I don't know how it will make me feel hopefully since Im going to take it at night I wont feel like im taking it.

[findingmyself]

hmm any one here?

[Snow White.]

How are you doing?

[findingmyself]

Im good took the low does last night had a little hard time sleeping but I should sleep okay tonight. This med is making me yawn a lot. Im just wating until I get a good nights sleep to take the vyvanse again. Because I find when I take the vyvanse and dont get a good night sleep I have a big crash when I dont take it. But maybe the antideprssant will help with that so I dont need to worry. Im not sure if thes meds are going to work or not. I like to sleep and take naps. I might have to wake up early just to take vyvanse which I wont like. Just taking it one day at a time.