The universe has spoken to me.

[insidemyhead]

I was just trying to write an essay and feeling very stressed because I have really bad blank page syndrome and all of a sudden time slowed down and my mind went blank and in a very loud voice came 'I am your creator, you are chosen, you must write a list of your desires and preach my word, I will deliver to you and you will reach enlightenment but most of all you will deliver to me'. Then it went time sped up again and my music returned and life was back to normal, I'm very confused this hasn't happened in four years since my uncle died and I meditated to an unhealthy level. I mean it was brilliant in that moment but afterward i'm not sure I nearly cried because it was gone and then I returned to being normal. My life is horrid right now i'm not happy I hate every aspect of my life bar the love of my family it's what keeps me fighting, i'm flat most of the time and all I want to do is sleep to pass the time. I hear voices so this could be a trick on their half but I don't think they have the power to mimic the universe they can't slow down time. Anyway i'm on medication to control them and it usually works so that must mean the universe really spoke. I don't want to preach no-one hears my voice why would they hear it now? I feel sick to the pit of my stomach something isn't right I'm honoured but deeply worried this is my illness coming back. I don't know why i'm posting i'm scared and sick of it all I don't want to be a prophet to the universe I just want a normal life! I want to be well again but have to face the reality I may never be well.. :crying: I really just want this over. I'm fed up! I don't know what i'm expecting.. I just don't want to be alone right now.

[beautiful_seclusion]

Do you have someone you can tell? You say you are very stressed; often our minds play tricks on us when we are having a bad time. I really wouldn't believe what it says; you have no way to know it is something that will be good for you. Could you tell the doctor that prescribes your meds? Perhaps the ones you are on need adjusting? I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Kyaneos]

That must be been really terrifying to deal with.

To echo what the above poster has said, stress can do horrible things to us, especially if you already have a history with voices. It has good that your medication has been controlling them so far, but if you are worried, it might be worth going back to your doctor for a meds adjustment.

I know it is worried but try not to worry about what you heard, you mentioned you are close to your family, do you think you could talk to them about what you heard?

[insidemyhead]

Thank you both. I agree stress does horrible things, i'm hoping it's that, I've calmed down a bit, put a smelly candle on and forced myself into sleep for an hour the room now smells very nice and is keeping me grounded. I may tell my mum we've been expecting something like this.. because everyone's telling me i'm presenting with 'prodromal symptoms' since they took me of an antidepressant, i'm awaiting to go on a new one so will see if that stabalises me gets me on a even keel because i'm all over the place I'm just waiting for the letter so I can go on it. I might write a letter to my mum explaining what happened because it was very scary and I don't want to be alone. I don't think i'm going to believe what it says I just hope it doesn't start sending me codes if it does i'll have a serious discussion with my cpn. Thank you both for replying it means a lot that you posted when you may well be suffering yourselves so thank you x

[Kyaneos]

That sounds great! Its good to hear you seem to have a firm plan.

A letter to your mum sounds really sensible as it can be hard to say things out loud. Let us know how you get on?

[insidemyhead]

I haven't written the letter yet I'm very scared to she has her own things going on and is very stressed im currently hard to live with and dont want to make matters worse, I may tell her over the weekend when we have a quiet moment. I will let you know though, thanks, take care x

[talaiporia]

Hi there. Just wondering if you'd had a go at the letter yet? It can be a really helpful way of expressing our feelings and just getting them out in the open. It can also help to release a lot of tension and anxiety inside of us.