I'm going to court *UPDATED* with verdict.

[FranticMind]

As the title says, im going to court in less than two weeks to give evidence against my abuser, (my uncle).

tomorrow i am going to the police station to watch my video interview to keep it fresh in my mind, im worried and scared, i did my interview two years ago and i have forgotton most of what i said.

I guess i just need some nice words and hugs to get me through this difficult time.

[Pi.R^2]

This is a such a good and brave thing to do. I hope that he is punished for what he did and that you are given all the right support throughout and after the court proceedings.

I'm sorry I don't really know what to say, but I wanted to at least say something to acknowledge what you're doing. I'll be thinking of you.

*hugs*

[Ahimsa]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, I can't relate but I can appreciate just how hard tomorrow will be. Please try to stay focused on the fact that as soon as it's done, you're one step closer!

[FranticMind]

im really scared about tomorrow, im going to relive it all and ims cared, what if i have a horrid flashback in front of the policeman? what if i faint or something? ugh its going to be so hard, im going to stay up for as long as i can to make sure tomorrow never comes.

[Snow White.]

Staying up won't stop tomorrow coming but it will make you sleep deprived and more likely to have an adverse reaction to so much emotion. The best thing you can do right now is get the rest you need. I suggest being honest with the police about how nervous you're feeling and planning something comforting for yourself after. You can do this but planning to keep yourself safe will be key xxx

[havealittlefaith]

Hey Hun

Let us know how your going now x

[Patent Pending]

Thinking of you.

Hope today goes okay <3

x x x

[FranticMind]

today was awful, i walked out crying when it got to the bit about the rape, i have to go back next week to watch another hour of the video.

[Beautifully Broken]

*hugs Kat*

I don't know what to say, other than I'm thinking of you.
xxx

[FranticMind]

thanks nic, i needed that, *cuddles*

it turned out worse than i thought it was going to be, my video interview lasted for three hours so i have to watch it in 2 days, i dont have the concentration to sit there for a full three hours.

[Ranger Fairy]

I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and that you are doing amazingly for bearing to watch any of it in even little bits of time. *Massive Hugs*

[havealittlefaith]

Hugs hunni x

[Cacoethes]

you're being so strong Kat, i'm really proud of you.
You can get through this *hugs*
Make sure you keep talking and use the support you have x

[Still Scarred]

You're so brave to do this, I can't even imagine it. I don't have any advice but I think you're wonderful for standing up to him x

[FranticMind]

hey guys.

Im going to have a look around the court tomorrow, im scared, what if i see him there having a look around aswell?
then im going to watch the rest of my video interview on friday, im scared. has anyone else been through this, what sort of questions do they ask you in court? they are trying to make me look so mental that i made everything up when i didnt, im scared that the jury will believe the defense and not me. i have a suicide plan for after the court case as a back up just in case he gets found not guilty, im scared and i dont waant to die, i have made this plan years ago. i dont know what i want out of this, just some kind words i guess,

i must sound poathetic for saying how scared i am, im scared they will laugh at me in court for crying.

[Cacoethes]

hey guys.

Im going to have a look around the court tomorrow, im scared, what if i see him there having a look around aswell?
then im going to watch the rest of my video interview on friday, im scared. has anyone else been through this, what sort of questions do they ask you in court? they are trying to make me look so mental that i made everything up when i didnt, im scared that the jury will believe the defense and not me. i have a suicide plan for after the court case as a back up just in case he gets found not guilty, im scared and i dont waant to die, i have made this plan years ago. i dont know what i want out of this, just some kind words i guess,

i must sound poathetic for saying how scared i am, im scared they will laugh at me in court for crying.

*hugs*
you're being very brave Kat.
I don't think they would let him look around the court at the same time as you.
Do you have anyone going with you for support?
I don't know what kind of court you are going to, my only experience of courts is a county court.

I'm not sure what kind of questions they will ask you, are they going to show your video interview instead of asking you to talk in the witness box?

[FranticMind]

im giving evidence via video link, so they will play my video and then ask me questions about it, its the questions that im scare about, they will try to make me out to be a crazy liar.

[Icecube. Swirls]

Kat, you are being extremely brave to even watch any part of the movie.
Please stay safe. Is there anyone who could come with you to give you moral support. I am thinking of you. Massive hugs. You are in my thoughts.

Love From Meera xx

[FranticMind]

i think my CPN is coming with me, she rang me up today and she is going to give me an injection of PRN before i go and she is picking me up at 3pm. i feel bad, i havent been in college all week and im nissing out on a lot of work.

[Cacoethes]

I think you've got enough going on without the added pressure of college work. You can always catch up with the work. Are they aware of what's going on?

You need to focus on getting through this right now, you are being so brave x

[FranticMind]

thank you beckie, i suppose college can wait :)

[FranticMind]

so i went to have a look around the court today, it was alright, the witness protection volunteers were really nice and understanding. i have some good news aswell, the defence did an independant psychiatric report and the report was so good that they are struggling to find fault with it, so my diagnosis of complex-PTSD still stands and theres nothing the defence can say about it.

[havealittlefaith]

-huge cuddles babes-

Just been reading through your thread babes i know this probably doesn't seem helpful or anything but the court isn't as scary as it seems and yes they do try to twist things and they try to say your lying but you have to be calm and they will ask you things like did you scream and just ask you to elaborate more on your video and if there's any pictures etc you get shown .. I found it hard and I understand your feeling of if he gets found not guilty I'm currently in limbo now until the verdict and I have the same feeling of I can't live if its not the verdict I want but please remember this you know what happened and it is not your fault if you don't get the verdict you want ... Can you talk to your cpn about your plan , when is the court date scheduled?? will it be a week long??.... I am here for you an I can't understand how it feels to be you but I can relate in some way you will get through this babes I will be here for you you are so strong <3

-sending love and hugs - x

[The Stolen One]

You're so strong to be doing this, I'm sure everyone is super proud that you're going through with it, despite all the hurt and upset that it's causing you.
I have nothing useful to say either really, I just read this and wanted to say that you're doing really well, it'll all be over with soon hopefully.

[FranticMind]

i dont want to do it, go to court i mean, i cant do it, i cant, im not strong enough. my mum thinks its a matter of just being asked questions, but its worser than that, they will be making me out to be a liar and thats what i hate. i cant answer questions becuase i dont want to remember what happened, it will drive me to OD, ive ran out of money so i cant afford cigarettes to help me either.

[havealittlefaith]

Babes you can do it. I blocked out loads of what happened and I said I didn't rember and its okay not to remember.
If it would help inbox me and we can exchange numbers :)

[pixiedust_11]

Kat, you have much more strength inside of you and around you than you realise. We're all so, very proud of you for even considering taking your abuser to court, let alone actually going through with it. You have plenty of support around you. Try to utilise the fact that we all want to be here for you, and that your cpn will be with you and will help you with appropriate after-care. It's a scary process, we understand. It will all be over, just by taking things in baby steps. Perhaps it's an idea to try and not view the procedure as one big scary event, but instead taking small steps at any given time, in order to help you get through it without feeling too much stress.

The defense may well try to twist arguments in order to make them seem right, however you said yourself that from a rational and independent psychiatric perspective, your diagnosis will help you greatly and that there is no real fault that can be found in your evaluation. To be honest, there's only so far that a person can go in fighting the system when they're obviously not going to get anywhere with it. Your uncle may try to plead innocent, but you have the law and the truth on your side. You have people who want to protect you, and what to do what's right by you. We're all here for your darling, and we care about you so much. It's scary as hell but we want to help unload that fear for you so that you can feel safe in doing justice for yourself. Keep talking to us xx

[FranticMind]

thank you everyone,

Im going to see the rest of my video interview tomorrow, its going to be a long one and im not ready for it. only 5 days to go before i give evidence, im shitting myslef, i have to watch my video interview - 3 hours long - on the morning of the trial again and then they ask me questions on it, i dont know what sort of questions they are going to ask me and im scared that they are going to make me out to be a liar.

[FranticMind]

i watched the rest of my video interview today, i found out that im in court next wednesday at 10am, that means meeting my CPN at piccadilly train station and going to the court.
i cried at my video interview, i cant believe i was 16 when i did it, i looked so vulnerable, my body language was vulnerable and i kept covering my face. i talked in detail about how i was raped, the questions i was asked, it was awful.

worser still i have to watch all three hours again next wednesday morning, so i have to go through it all again.im scared and i dont know what to think.

I have a few questions:

1) what am i supposed to wear at court? i dont want to wear a suit because i dont have one, no money to buy one, and i will feel uncomfortable. im thinking of just going smart but i dotn want to get shouted at by the judge.

2) does anyone know what sort of questions i will be asked? im scared of being cross examined because they will make me out to be a liar.

3) i have been asked by my psych to go into hospital next week informally, i dont want to go, how do i tell him i am safe without them sectioning me? (i really am safe, i have no intention of suicide).

im sorry that this is really long, i could do with some cuddles. thank you for reading

kat x

[whirlpools]

Regarding number 2 is there anyone you can ask about it who is working with you, for example your solicitor? Is there a special police team working with you on it who could help a bit? I know it's probably unlikely that they'll know exactly what the defence will say but there are probably things that are fairly common in trials like this.

Really hope you get some answers to your questions, it must be incredibly stressful to go through something like this.

[TimesLikeThese]

I went to court with my girlfriend (at the time) when she was giving evidence against her abuser, so I can understand how difficult this is for you.

With regards to what you wear, it is best to be smart but also make sure it is something you feel comfortable wearing. It doesn't have to be a suit, it could just be smart trousers and a nice blouse or something like that.

With the questions, from my experience, you will watch the whole video interview then your lawyer will ask you a few questions if anything needs clarifying. They are on your side and this is nothing to worry about. When you are cross examined, I'm not going to lie, it will be difficult. The lawyer may try to twist your words or the events and make you out to be a liar, but remember this is their job as they are defending your abuser. All you need to do is stay calm and tell the truth. If they say something that is wrong or not what happened, tell them eg "No that's not right" or "That's not what I said/what happened". If they ask you something and you don't know the answer, either because you can't remember or you just genuinely don't know, be honest and say you don't know eg "I can't remember" or "I'm not sure about that" - try not to make something up or something to say just because they have asked you a question (I know you won't, but the temptation might be there).

All you need to be is honest. Tell them exactly what happened and nothing else. And if you need a break, tell them and you can have a few minutes to gather your thoughts/emotions. My girlfriend stopped part way through the cross examination because she was upset, and that was absolutely fine.

I wish you all the best. Please PM if I can be of any help. Take care!

[FranticMind]

thank you for the replies, it helped a lot :)

only 4 days to go before i go give evidence, im scared.

[talaiporia]

Take care Kat, I hope it goes as well as it can.

[Icecube. Swirls]

I hope it goes well kat . I'm thinking of you.

Love from MEERA xx

[Snow White.]

Thinking of you Kat, you're doing amazingly, keep up the good work and remember we are here for you every step of the way xx

[FranticMind]

only 1 day to go, the nerves are setting in now >.<

[havealittlefaith]

hugs x

[darlkill]

hugs n good luck thinking of you

[Thatgirlnextdoor]

hope everything went okay today kat, thinking of you x

[Cacoethes]

Thinking of you today Kat x

[TimesLikeThese]

Thinking of you. I hope it goes as well as it can. We'll be here for you if you need us.

[FranticMind]

head is too mushy to reply now, will reeply tomorow, thank you everyone x

[Icecube. Swirls]

Hugs Kat. Thinking of you. I hope you are ok.

Love From Meera xx

[Snow White.]

Thinking of you Kat, we are here when you're ready x

[yoyogirl]

Thinking of you Kat

[FranticMind]

so we turned up to minshull street crown court today at 9:30 for me to give evidence. the witness protection people were lovely and let us in through the side door.
it turned out that the case had only started that day so they had to swear the jury in, give the opening statements etc. it lasted all day from 10am - 5pm. we were sat in the witness area for all that time just talking.

it turns out that there wsant enough time ofr me to give my evidence so i ahve to go back tomorrow to do it, the good thing is though that i will definately give ALL my evidence tomorrow instead of it being split into two days, just thought i would share, i am okay and i am managing well. and so are my family, they are really supportive.
my CPN came with me today aswell and she took me out for literally about 20 cigarette breaks :P

[Snow White.]

This must be so difficult but it sounds like you're feeling a bit now positive and I'm glad to hear that you're managing well. I'm very proud of you :) sounds like a massive day I hope you're able to get some rest.

Well done on your strength so far :)

[FranticMind]

so today i was at court.

I watched my video evidence for 2 hours, and then answered some questions. my barrister was lovely to me and gave me questions to accredit me, however, the defense barrister asked me horrible questions,
one of the little gems were 'did the voices in your head tell you to lie about the rape?' in which the judge replies 'that is an innapropriate question, move on'.

i havent finished yet though, i have to go back tomorrow and finish the questions from the defence barrister.

i could do with some love and hugs x

[Icecube. Swirls]

Awww Kat , I am thinking of you. You are very brave. I am here for you. If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me anytime you want. Sending you massive hugs.

Love From Meera xx

[TimesLikeThese]

Well done on today, you're doing really well. The defence barrister will be nasty but remember it's because it's their job, not because they want to make you out to be a bad person/liar/etc, but it sounds like the judge is on top of it and is stopping them from provoking things too much.

I hope tomorrow goes well. Keep going, it's nearly over. Have you got anything planned for tonight?

[Gofeen]

Well done. Hugs and good luck for tomorrow!

[Ahimsa]

Good luck for tomorrow, we're all here to support you regardless x

[Pomegranate]

I'm in awe of how brave you're being. Try and remember its the defence barristers job to be like this. It doesn't mean anyone (maybe not even him) doesn't believe you. Good luck tomorrow. Try and do something nice for yourself, although I appreciate that may well be the opposite of what your instincts are telling you to do. Take care.

[Snow White.]

So proud of you and your strengths, I'm glad the judge called him out on that awful question that is so inappropriate. At least the judge is there to protect you from that as much as possible.

Wishing you all the very best, please keep yourself safe, you are doing so well. Remember we are here for you xx

[shadow-light]

not much to add that hasn't been said, but wanted to add to the general concensus of how brave you are being. And as has been said it's the defences job to do that sort of thing, they have to look for any angle they can exploit to try to create reasonable doubt, luckily sounds like the judge is not allowing them to go too far though

[Cacoethes]

You're being so brave Kat *hugs*
I'm so proud of you.

[darlkill]

Well done and good luck today

[youonlyliveonce]

Hope today went as well as could be

[FranticMind]

hey

im sorry i couldnt have updated this, it wa sdecided that i should go IP over the weekend because the defence's questions on friday were too horrible, but im back home now, and im just waiting ont he verdict, i will keep you all posted, its likely to be friday when the verdict is.

thank you for all your nice and kind words xx

[Sunshine]

Hi you don't know me but you have been so brave. You should be so proud of yourself. I can't even imagine the strength you must have to be cross examined. You are truely inspirational.

Take care
X

[TimesLikeThese]

That was such a brave decision of you to go inpatient over the weekend. It's really good that you recognised the defence's questions as a 'trigger' almost and took the necessary steps to keep yourself safe. Did you find it helped?

Yes please keep us updated. I hope the verdict goes your way. But remember, even if it doesn't, that doesn't mean he's not guilty, it just means that there wasn't enough evidence/there was some doubt about it. But I hope it doesn't come to that!

Take care xxxx

[FranticMind]

im so pleased,

my abuser has been locked up for the night because the judge thought he was going to do a runner. it means that me and my family can now go shopping without bumping into him tomorrow :)

[Icecube. Swirls]

That's excellent news kat. I'm so pleased.

Love from MEERA xx

[FranticMind]

so today the charges were read out against him.

there are 15 charges, 9 of which have already been proved.
the nine charges as long as i can remember are:

* downloading rated 1-5 child pornography
* downloading animal pornography (humans having sex with animals)
* giving alcohol to an underage child

there are another 6 charges which i cant remember but even if he is not found guilty then there are 9 charges to which he will be sentenced.

[youonlyliveonce]

Fingers crossed he gets along time

[Ranger Fairy]

I hope he gets a long sentence, and that it will help you too. Thinking of youxx

[FranticMind]

so my uncle was on the stand today.

he denied everything including the rape. it makes me feel sad, all i wanted him to do was to admit it. it turned out that he had 6 police interviews, all of which he lied on, he denied sending the sexual texts even though it was black and white evidence, he denied giving me alcohol on three occasions and then he admitted it in court today.
he also admitted to downloading child and animal pornography which is also black and white evidence.

[havealittlefaith]

hugs you have been so brave x

[Unbreakable.]

I think you are so amazing and show such strength during such a hard time.
I hope very much he gets what he deserves and I hope that it will help you to heal and move on.

[Pomegranate]

Thinking of you today. You've been so brave.

[crazykat]

You have been incredibly brave throughout all this, well done. Thinking of you

[LegoGirl]

My thoughts are with you. X

[LittleCloud]

Kat- I am in awe of your bravery and strength. I know you didn't have a choice- but you made it through. Sorry for coming in late as support- I just saw this thread. *Hugs* I hope that he gets a long sentence and that going through this process, however traumatic gives some closure

[yoyogirl]

I hope he gets the punishment he deserves

[FranticMind]

OMG the jury has been sent out today to make their decision, we will find out on monday, #shitting it.

[LittleCloud]

*sitting here with you*

[youonlyliveonce]

Sends hugs

[Ranger Fairy]

You are in my thoughts. Whatever happens you are so brave. Sending massive hugs.

[Fire Fly]

You're so strong! You can do this Kat! *hugs* x

[Tig]

You are awesome Kat for doing this, well done lovely <3

Wishing you all the best for Monday.

Have you got any plans for the weekend to help keep you as safe and distracted as possible?xx

[Pi.R^2]

I really really hope he gets the sentence he deserves. Will be thinking of you over the weekend.

Take good care of yourself- you've been so brave and strong, you deserve to treat yourself this weekend!

[FranticMind]

thank you for all the support <3

lottie and jenna - i went shopping today with my family at a big shopping centre and got a new dress for my birthday, so that was a really big distraction :)

[Icecube. Swirls]

Aww that's nice. I'm glad that the shopping distracted you.

Love from MEERA xx

[crazykat]

I hope that it goes well on Monday and that he gets the sentence that he deserves. Well done for distracting yourself hun

[UnanimousAnonymous]

Hope it went ok today. x

[FranticMind]

the verdict was today, he was found:

GUILTY

and sentenced to 23 years in prison!!

im so happy!

[Tig]

Oh reading that made me smile :D

Well done on all your hard work in securing this conviction Kat. You have been a true inspiration and so, so brave.

xx

[when.will.it.end]

That's brilliant news!

[LegoGirl]

Wow! brilliant news!

[Pomegranate]

That's fantastic!

[Ranger Fairy]

That's awesome news! You have been so brave. I really hope you helps you to begin to move on.

[tiptoes]

Fantastic News!

[random.swirls]

Fantastic news

I can't imagine how you feel but this made me smile

Xox

[Gofeen]

Great! Well done Kat! Now, spoil yourself.

[TimesLikeThese]

Yes! I'm so pleased for you! Well done on all your hard work and keeping strong throughout! :D

[Cacoethes]

That's amazing Kat!
I'm so proud of you, you've been so strong through all this. You should be so proud of yourself xx

[Icecube. Swirls]

Fantastic news . This made me smile!

Love from meera xx

[Unbreakable.]

Brilliant :D

[UnanimousAnonymous]

Great news!
xx

[youonlyliveonce]

Great news bet ur so relieved

[FranticMind]

thank you everyone, im so relieved, it means i can get on with my life now :)

[Fire Fly]

Welldone Kat! This defo made me smile. I'm hope it has given you some relief knowing he will be locked up and stuff. Keep going x

[Thatgirlnextdoor]

Omg! This is amazing news!
You were so brave throughout the whole situation and he got the punishment he deserves!

well done kat xxx

[MunchBox]

That's fantastic news, Kat, I'm happy for you.

[crazykat]

That is great, well done for being so brave throughout all this