Suicidal (May/Will Probably Trigger)

[DarkWhispers123]

I am so over always being depressed, never being good enough, not being trusted, failing to stop cutting, everyone else being so damn happy with their lives and themselves. I hate myself. I am ugly. I am a bitch. Why does this life HURT so much?!?

[lilmissjay]

Hey!

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time at the moment. I understand how feeling this way can make you feel so alone and hurt, but you definitely are NOT alone. Everyone on this site, and I'm sure there is at least one person in real life, who cares about you and can relate to what you are going through.

You never mentioned this in your post, but has something been going on it your life to cause you to feel so bad? Are you getting any sort of professional help and also support from your friends/family?

Unfortunately, life isn't always going to be perfect (that goes for everyone on this planet). Something will always happen that will bring you down and even cause you to feel depressed, but it is your own choice to allow it to control your life or to accept it and try to find at least one positive thing during that time and to move forward the best you can.

Perhaps you could pick up a new hobby, hang out with friends, make some new friends, go for a walk, watch a funny movie/TV show, read, write, draw. There are so many things, that are positive, to get your hands and mind busy so that you can take your mind off the negative things for at least a little while.

Anyways, I really hope I have been of some help. Feel free to send me a PM if you ever need someone to talk to.

Take care and stay safe :)

[Paw Print]

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I know how hard it is when you feel like this.

is there anything you can do that makes everything bearable even?

Are you seeing a therapist or anyone you can talk to?

[DarkWhispers123]

I dont have a therapist but i have a boufriend that I could talk to.

[Paw Print]

that would probably be a really good idea. Is he supportive? Do you think that talking to a therapist would be something you could or would do? I find it much easier to talk to someone who is not emotionally and personally involved in my life (family and friends).

Have you thought about calling a crisis line when you are feeling particularily unsafe or distressed? Sometimes this helps me.

[xomeyaxo]

Hi :/

[DarkWhispers123]

yes he is supportive and i would go see a therapist

[barewelcome]

I'm 23, and I'm feeling exactly the same way. Everyone has graduated college, and has real jobs. It's embarrassing looking for "college type" jobs while everyone I know is happy, beautiful, and successful when I feel so sad, fat, and failing.

I had similar thoughts today as I sat outside trying to get fresh air. "Why do THEY get to be happy?" I have never been happy in a stable way.

I think a lot of the problem stems from me not knowing how to talk about this with my real close friends, or my parents. So it bottles up inside me. But I know if they were to come to me with their problems, I would certainly let them know how important they are to me. And I think you need to consider that you are important to someone. Imagine a friend, or your boyfriend coming to you with these issues. What you feel for them, and how much you need them around is exactly the way the feel about you.

[Paw Print]

That is really good. Can you maybe ask him to help you find a therapist or make and appointment with your gp for a referral? It can be hard to take the first steps on your own, easier with support and help.

How are you feeling today?

[DarkWhispers123]

Tired and I have the urge to cut

[Patent Pending]

Can you do something good/fun to take your mind off the urges? Or talk to your boyfriend? Even if it's not about how you're feeling just to take your mind away from it?

x x x

[DarkWhispers123]

It is 1:53am over here and I am trying to contact my boyfriend through the messaging thing on my iPad but its wing a piece of crap ad not sending

[Patent Pending]

Ah, sorry didn't realise the time difference.

It's good you're trying to contact your boyfriend. Is there any other way you can contact him? Or maybe go into chat on here, it can be a distraction?

x x x

[DarkWhispers123]

Unfortunately, no and the chat does not work on iPads

[Fiddlesticks]

Is there no support numbers you have nearby? Any crisis lines you can call? Just try and keep yourself distracted, but if you feel you're going to hurt yourself it's best if you seek some help.

[DarkWhispers123]

Not that I know of. I think I will go seek some help as I am not coping with these urges

[Field Of Paper Flowers]

Talk to your boyfriend, ask him to go with you to your doctor/therapist. Try calling him if you can, you need to talk to someone asap.

[DarkWhispers123]

I wil try contact him again on the messaging app on my iPad but it wasn't working before and he will probably be asleep

[Paw Print]

You could try imalive.org. it is an online crisis chat like a crisis line except you chat over the internet with someone instead of on the phone.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.

[DarkWhispers123]

I will try out the website. Thanks.