Voices - Cant concentrate

[Ami]

Hi

Voices just get more and more and people muddling my thoughts about and taking them in and out of my head. I have exams this week and next weak. But cant think or concentrate cos I need to do something.

And more things they say i listen 'dont eat the cheerios - poisoned to control you'.... 'dont take meds, trying to brainwash you' so been trying anyways but I cant ignore them for much longer. 'get rid of evil - cut it out' 'do this' 'do that'.

'do you remember me? you left me to die' .. i cant deal. Its just accumulating.maybe i can fix this. I am taking meds just to prove that it is actually real.

I have some haloperidol I guess I could use prn but not sure. They will scream and it will just give me parkinsonisms. But it might turn their volume down a bit.

Sorry, Dont really know what Im wanting from this post. Just someone to talk to I guess.

[Seneca]

I know it doesn't sound that helpful, but you should always ignore the voices when they tell you not to take your meds. If you don't take your meds, they're not going to leave you alone. Also, if they're saying really irritating stuff, you could try playing your iPod loudly to block them out. Or if they're insulting you, just agree with what ever they said just to shut them up.

Hope this helps.

[Ami]

Thanks for your reply. I am trying hard to maintain social-ness because usually thats the first thing to go, and I just end up never leaving the house. But ive been taking diazepam more so because I get so panicked when imposters are out or they talk about me and everyone is sending messages.

I might try just one earphone so i can still here when people are after me but not enough to distract. I guess the 'yeah whatever' thing might work but it might just wind them up.

Thank you x

[CrystalSong]

I am sorry for your illness. I will pray that your state improves. Your medicine is not poison and the sense which you have that it is not effective does not prove that the voices are real. I endured several different anti-psychotiics before I found a working regimen. The first breakthrough came with a medication which was effective for half of the day. Rather than terrorize me all day and night long, I found half a day of peace. Then I found a combination after two years that worked for days, though I would hear those horrific sounds only at times.
I wish you luck on your journey towards healing,

Crystal Song

[Cedrus]

I think you should contact your psychiatrist. The stress of the impending exams might be triggering the voices to get worse. The last time I was at college I lasted less than 2 months before i got really ill and ended up on a section 3. Has anyone ever sat down with you and gone through your 'warning signs'? Its helpful to have something to help you see you are getting a bit poorly, although it doesn't always work due to lack of insight. I think you should tell the voices to get lost. They can't do anything to you, it will be you and your actions that can do something. I know that may be hard to believe. I used to believe I was being manipulated a lot and I felt like i couldn't control my actions, but what I find helps is if you constantly tell them in your mind to 'f off' and just basically be rude to them, it helps get the anger out. But I think that only helps when your life isn't being totally invaded by them, like when its in the backgound. I think you should ring the cmht and ask to speak to the duty worker on shift, also, tell a close friend what is going on so they can keep an eye out for you. *hugs* x

[Jessy]

Sometimes if you acknowledge the voices they'll quieten down a little bit, so the 'yeah whatever' may help.. if it doesn't then I'd take the haloperidol.

I found it really helped me with the voices. It didn't stop them as such.. but it really quietened them down and sorta made them sound muffled and flat, so I was able to concentrate on other things and take my mind off them.

I hope you find something to help, I know how distressing then can be.

[not_so_insig]

I would see (this has been suggested to me, but it doesnt work with my voices because then they become abusive) if you had bargain with the voices. Such as "I will listen to you at 7 pm, if you will shut up now".

The headphones/ipod thing is really great, if it works. I use my ipod every single day.

PRN medication is good, I have diazapam for this purpose (also for really bad anxiety). I would also use it, but I can understand your parkinsonism worries though.

I would also find other ways to see if I can cope. For me, I found (only recently, less than 6 months ago) that baking cakes is an distraction. Also (I dont care if this sounds babyish, but it works for me) I found colouring in, you can buy cheap colouring books everywhere, or if you dont have the courage to buy them in shop (especially if you dont have any kids or younger siblings/cousins), then there are plenty of free images if you google it.

I do agree with PilotVeteran, get in contact with someone such as your psychatrist or CMHT (if you under one). I know when I was going through immense stress last year my psych temporarily increased my quetiapine, Maybe an temporary increase of your antipsychotic whilst you are going through your exams, rather than relying on PRN medication may be the answer.

You are not alone, my voices have been tormenting me for ages, and they have gotten worse yesterday too!!

[Ami]

Hi,

Thank you all for replying. Haloperidol does help a great deal but the side effects were too bad to cope with. Im also on aripip 30mg so not sure if they would badly interact. But haloperidol did help.

Piolet, I think I have done 'signs of a relapse' years ago when I was first in hospital and diagnosed. But not lately, but I kind of know just because its been years. I hear my brother which is the scary thing because he's three and i hope hes okay.

xx

[Ami]

All the ideas are worth a try so thanks for that :-)

My mam got me a 'grown up' colouring book full of angels which I might dig out because Ive never really used it! i dont know if my meds really can go any higher. Im taking the max recommended dose (30mg) but not much side effects for a change, so im not sure. I think I would see my gp maybe? Probabaly quicker than waiting for a psych appointment.

Sorry your voices are getting worse too.
x

[Cedrus]

I think you should speak to someone asap before things get worse. How long have you been on the aripiprazole? the gp is a good idea, they should be able to get you in touch with your psych quicker. maybe you should give your brother a call so you can hear that he is safe. I really think you should try and talk to a professional soon.

x

[Ami]

I spoke to my mam and my brother is okay, just scared me. She doesnt know about the voices so i just asked how he is.

I have been on aripiprazole approx 3 weeks or so I think. I have only forgot one but its coming harder to take because they say its putting stuff in me so other people can control me etc. I really should go to the drs anyways to remove the thought broadcaster out of me since I dont really fancy cuttting it out myself .
xx

[Ami]

Sorry to bring this back up but why do spies and voices and 'the other world' become more loud / annoying/ controlling when trying to do exams for example, or anything important in the 'normal world' ?

Is it to just **** things up, or like a test or just trying to take over. Im sick of them messing my stuff up or taking my thoughts anf removing them and replacing them to delibarately mess me. I have ideas who it is too. On e of them is the dr.

[Ami]

On my next appointment, I will ask why the other dr is doing such things. I will warn him I know whats going on so stop the silly business. Wish everyone would stop this pretending but i know people are brainwashed so I will, to an extent, understand why they are saying xyz isnt real.

I am seriously not that happy. I feel ill. I know it is real because I have took lots of meds and lately I have been on the highest dose of aripiprazole for 4 weeks on thursday and if it was actually not real then it would go away but i understand these 'meds' are just trying to brainwash me. If I told the whole story the spies would torture me before I could hence the reason they are spying.

[whirlpools]

In my experience, sometimes psychosis isn't helped either because it's treatment-resistant, or because it's psychological and more helped by intensive therapy.
I think voices etc. can get louder around exams and things because one becomes more stressed, and psychotic symptoms can elevate when you're stressed. Also, I think voices and things 'controlling' us attempt to undermine us if they are coming from the more destructive parts of ourselves - so when we try our best to progress in life and achieve things we want, there's another part trying to destroy it.
I went through a lot of what you're going through in previous years, so I understand how frustrating it is when nobody identifies with what you're experiencing. I suppose it can be important to try and accept the possibility that these things may not be true, just as I still have to accept that science can't prove that they're not true - I just choose for them not to be, if that makes sense. But I think maybe you need to believe it is true at the moment.

[Ami]

Thanks Laura I apprecitate your reply. I will respond tonight but I think that you make a lot of sense. x