Sorry to post

[NeverBetter]

im just so f*cked up wright now
my emtions are wierd one miniute hight and low or doing extrem stuff
i seem to always confuse other peoples mood if their joking i end up thinking its seriouse or laught when bad news happen so confused
most the time my face is blank or forced smile ...ahhh i dont know

voices in my head wont leave me alone or hullsnations
feel like i wanna just SH/OD so badly
im just reckless

i actually forgot how to care anymore

apperenlt my ED getting worse people say i look worse but i dont wann belive it i dont wanna recover i feel guilty when it upsets people but that passes after 5miniutes or so i know im selfish but
they say u should be hapy with what u do and who you are im happy with doing what i do habits wise
im not happy about other stuff
but just wish their was a magic wand that granted me what i wanted
and got people off my back

i can be a heartless bit but im not totally heartless
i having feelings to but they have gone walkies

i suffer bad anxiety and panick mode alot
im just soo lost i see no way out literaly NO WAY OUT
i know people say it will get better in the end , but thats not 100% garnteed is it ?

just need support or a hug

sowrry to ask

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

Don't be sorry to ask, it's good that you're asking for help. Have you managed to see your doctor yet?
*lots of hugs*
pm me anytime, if you'd like :)
xxx

[NeverBetter]

no not yet i hVE BEEN PODERING WETHER TO OR NOT
I DONT KNOW
JUST SO MESSED UP
hmmmm

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

I think you ought to see your Doctor, he/she should be able to help you. If you're still struggling with your feelings&emotions try writing down how you feel and showing your Doctor that way they'll be able to provide the best kind of help and advice.
xxx

[NeverBetter]

the thing is i dont get on with my dr last time i saw her i screamed at her
swore quiet alot ad walked out
so not sure what todo plus
talking to a new dr who wont know me will take ages to build up a background which i have done with several dr
in the past due to moving loadz ( was in care)
i just feel like given up sorry to waste your time

[dazed1989]

i know people say it will get better in the end , but thats not 100% garnteed is it ?

Not very much is certain in life...One thing is though and that is change, things change every day, little things big things, good things, bad things... Things won't be like this forever... change will happen by itself and you can also (and should also) make it happen for yourself... even if it starts with something small and insignificant.... small steps will make progress... you know if there are things you could or should be doing differently (things you can control) so start with those, we all have room for self-improvement.

Good Luck, hope you manage to sort the doctor situation out...

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

Please don't give up, you can work through this.
I know it takes a while to build up a background but I really think that writing things down could help you with this :)
&, with your old Doctor, I wouldn't be surprised if she understood why you screamed; often they have to tell us things we don't want to hear... so maybe you could try talking things through with her?
xxx

[annie-zoldeck]

just don't give up life might be a bitter and sometimes a killer but it is still full of joy and surprises and i think you defently have to go and see your doctor he/she will help you a bit but the rest is up to you

[NeverBetter]

just wondering how can my dr help me?
and i do try but it seem hopeless

[SpeakLouder]

I hope you feel better soon, don't give up though, the future looks beautiful.
I think you should see your doctor, although I don't know exactly what he or she will do, they are professionals and are there to help you. I hope you're alright.

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

Your doctor is there to help you, depending on what you tell him/her, how unsafe you are right now and the person they are will relate to how they choose to take action for example they may decide to try you on medication, or use talking therapies such as CBT or admit you to a ward.
But whatever they choose to do as long as you've given them the relevant information trust their decision and hopefully in the long term it will help you.
*Hugs* often things can seem hopeless; feelings like this can often be countered by thinking of all the positive things in the world/your life - friends, family, the sunshine etc.
xxx

[NeverBetter]

thaks for the lovely posts guys
also in the past goin to my dr has never helped
they wont give me meds anymore because cant be trusted with it
and not enoght funding for thearpy and all that at the momment

[annie-zoldeck]

just stay strong and don't give up and keep trying i guess after all that what would matter

[NeverBetter]

thank you for your support i am greatful really am

but staying strong is easy said than done and isnt always possible