opinions please :/

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

hey guys,

i've got this meeting tomorrow with my CPN and probation worker, its playing on my mind a bit, so i've written something down but would appreciate it if some of you(whoever reads it) would give me your opinions.


first of all i want to say that i don't think i want ANY kind of help from mental health services, if this has to go back to court then so be it.i'm not going to be condemned for saying that i don't want help anymore.

this past week without contact from Claire or Sarah has been bliss,having no-one on my back. last tuesday really threw me,it was the final straw for me and i'm not giving in or going back on what i've been telling myself.
i don't realise that i play mind games and that they are cryptic, but hey if you can't figure out what i'm saying then you can't be intelligent enough. i must be intellectual enough to start reeling them off,and for me to micro assess situations must also make me clever eh.
its just something i do.

katy always wins anyway,so you will never get one over on her.
losing you and sarah won't really affect me,but i will probably be worse off when i need a crisis admission or something.

the reason i don't want to work with anyone is because i have a feeling the person from pathways in Leeds is a guy and i don't work with guys what so ever,never have and never will.
i don't even have signs of a personality disorder anymore!! so therefore don't need help.

thanks in advance :-)

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

oh whats the fecking point :@

i don't need opinions 'coz y'all know i micro-assess things

[startingagain]

It seems the main concern is that the person from Pathways is a man? You could make it clear that you'd rather wait until a woman was available. Hope you get it sorted.

[whirlpools]

It sounds like you're pretty angry with what they said about playing mind-games. Did they clarify what they meant by that? I wonder if it can be worked through rather than a knee-jerk reaction that will probably leave you in trouble with probation and with less support.
As startingagain said, can you request a woman from Pathways? I've heard of it before and only understand it as a mini therapeutic community, so sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but it's likely you will not do much individual work once you are on the programme.

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

i dunno, coz the thing is i don't think i need help. i feel better now, like i'm not ill.

[Sleepless123]

i know i have been PM'ing with you and we have already discussed what you have written.

i just wanted to say though i am concerned about you.You do need help and support right now.A lot.

There are some very serious things going on for you.

i know you are confused and hurt and angry and understandably so but i really hope that things can get sorted out.

xx xx

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

i know,you're being a great support.

i'm just fed up of going to appointment after appointment and getting nowhere. i'm fed up of talking,fed up of trying. i just give up with it all.

i'll get through this on my own,even if it kills me!!

[Sleepless123]

i see your frustration and hurt.i really do.Sorry i dont mean to nag.

i really hope something positive comes out of tomorrow for you.i think your being really brave to go especially given how your feeling at the moment and i just really hope something positive does come of it for you in some way.

Please give them what you have written if you still want to and take it from there.

xx xx