tripwire
28-09-2010, 12:01 AM
Hi all, I'm new here. Sorry if there is a better place for this. If there is, I will delete and repost.
Sorry this is kind of long.
I've been on psych meds since I was 12 (nearly 15 years). It started out as treatment for clinical depression and never stopped. As of now, I take Lithium, Wellbutrin, and Klonopin to manage my depression and anxiety. I don't have bipolar disorder. The latest in my series of therapists tells me I have a "mood disorder not otherwise specified."
I'm starting to question whether these medications are doing me any good, especially the Lithium, which I have been on since 2003. I have had depressive episodes but always with an appropriate precipitating event (almost always following a major life change, such as moving across the country). I've seen at least a dozen different psychiatrists throughout this time, and I'm starting to wonder if they just pick up where the previous one left off without evaluating me to see if I have improved. For example, I added the Wellbutrin to my regimen shortly after I separated from my now ex-husband and was very depressed. That was over a year ago. It is entirely possible that I don't need it anymore.
I have a very flat affect now, which bothers me. I am not motivated to do much. I don't have hobbies really. I don't have many friends. Its not that I am depressed, I'm just deeply apathetic. Lately I am feeling as though I'd rather feel SOMETHING than nothing at all, even if that means being depressed or anxious. I feel like all of the things that make me who I am are deadened.
Right now, I'm seriously considering tapering off all of my prescriptions and seeing where I stand without psychiatric drugs. I'm terrified at the prospect, as I can't remember what it's like to be without them. However, the idea of getting my emotions and zest for life back is very appealing. I'd like to have the chance to try and manage my depression and anxiety without chemicals. Maybe if I actually work through these things instead of killing off the symptoms, I can live a much happier life.
Can anyone relate to this? Am I a fool for wanting to try? Any thoughts are appreciated. I'm feeling so conflicted.
Sorry this is kind of long.
I've been on psych meds since I was 12 (nearly 15 years). It started out as treatment for clinical depression and never stopped. As of now, I take Lithium, Wellbutrin, and Klonopin to manage my depression and anxiety. I don't have bipolar disorder. The latest in my series of therapists tells me I have a "mood disorder not otherwise specified."
I'm starting to question whether these medications are doing me any good, especially the Lithium, which I have been on since 2003. I have had depressive episodes but always with an appropriate precipitating event (almost always following a major life change, such as moving across the country). I've seen at least a dozen different psychiatrists throughout this time, and I'm starting to wonder if they just pick up where the previous one left off without evaluating me to see if I have improved. For example, I added the Wellbutrin to my regimen shortly after I separated from my now ex-husband and was very depressed. That was over a year ago. It is entirely possible that I don't need it anymore.
I have a very flat affect now, which bothers me. I am not motivated to do much. I don't have hobbies really. I don't have many friends. Its not that I am depressed, I'm just deeply apathetic. Lately I am feeling as though I'd rather feel SOMETHING than nothing at all, even if that means being depressed or anxious. I feel like all of the things that make me who I am are deadened.
Right now, I'm seriously considering tapering off all of my prescriptions and seeing where I stand without psychiatric drugs. I'm terrified at the prospect, as I can't remember what it's like to be without them. However, the idea of getting my emotions and zest for life back is very appealing. I'd like to have the chance to try and manage my depression and anxiety without chemicals. Maybe if I actually work through these things instead of killing off the symptoms, I can live a much happier life.
Can anyone relate to this? Am I a fool for wanting to try? Any thoughts are appreciated. I'm feeling so conflicted.