Dangerous Schitzophrenic?

[Tenji]

So a couple of weeks ago i went to a friends wedding in london. I met this lad while i was there, a friend of the couple, and got on really well with him.
We stole a few kisses, which is bad cause i have a fella. and when i returned back to manchester (hes from london) we've been in touch a lot.
Despite that i have feelings for him, it wouldnt work and i love my fella. he knows this but we've been brutally honest.
However, a few nights ago he told me had schizophrenia. I barely bad an eyelid cause my good mate has schizophrenia and i have many mates with different mental health issues. He wanted me to know that hes 'not normal' and that i should leave him alone. i told him to stop being silly.
Last night he revealed that hes lost many friends and relationships over this. i told him i would always be his mate. he said 'no you cant, im not good' and i said 'its just the schizophrenia talking'. He then went on to tell me some pretty dark things that happen in his head. i still wasnt bothered.
he then revealed he once stabbed someone. They attacked him but he defended himself and went too far. then he left them in the alleyway. He said hes tortured by it everyday and that hes scared he will do it again.
I didnt judge him, but he is kinda dark. He says he always wants to cut people up. i said 'would you do it?' and he said 'oh yeah. but i stop myself because of the repercussions'. I said 'why dont you get help' and he said 'i dont want to'. he said that getting help would be accepting what he did and he can't do that yet.
Ive told my mate about this guy and she said avoid him and stop talking to him. But i cant do that. I can see good in him, no matter what he or anyone else says. im not thinking of getting into a relationship with this guy and he lives hundreds of miles from me anyway.
I'd feel terrible abandoning him like this when hes told me he doesnt tell people like this often.
I dunno what to do. I don't think he's dangerous. And this isn't my feelings for him talking [yeah i still do after this].
Am i being totally stupid?

ps- sorry for spelling it wrong in the title. just realised. doh!

[Kitkat :)]

First and foremost, the fact that he stops himself from stabbing people shows that he still retains self control, and the fact that the only time he did do it was in self defence, so its not like he went out of his way on purpose to do it.

All you can do is be there for him. Listen to him when he wants to talk to someone, because like he said he doesn't do that often, so if you did stop talking to him then he would feel extremely let down, I would imagine. (I'm not guilt-tripping you into staying his friend, I'm just trying to see it from his point of view and yours).

I imagine that your friend would tell you to avoid him because she cares about you, but also because she doesn't really understand mental health disorders. People who don't always assume that people who have them will do bad things, when nearly all of the time that is not the case.

It's fair enough if he can't accept what he did yet, like I said all you can do is be there for him and when the time comes that he can accept it and wants to get help, then you support him.

Just a quick question, has he not gone to get help for his schizophrenia alone (not to help him deal with the fact that he accidentally killed somone in self defence)?

[Tenji]

the thing is it was self defence yeah, but he went overboard and ended up stabbing this guy multiple times in the chest. I dont know the ins and outs of it.

Thats what ive been telling my friend. I feel that if i was the first person to give him a break and actually continue to be his mate then maybe he will be able to talk to me and then go on to possibly get help. i mean either way, i still see him as a good person and i want to continue being his mate despite this.

My friend understands mental health issues. She has them herself, and she knows the other person we know with Schizophrenia but i suppose its just the stabbing thing and the fact that hes obsessed with cutting people. He gets a sexual thrill out of that though, that doesnt worry me cause hes explained why. Though when i revealed i self harmed he looked really awkward and i said 'you enjoy the thought dont you' and he looked SO guilty. so i said 'no worries about it hun, i just wont talk about it'. but he wants me to talk to him about my problems so he doesnt feel so alone. Hes actually really really sweet. its such a tough situation.

No he doesnt seem to be getting any help for the schizophrenia alone, hes avoiding it because he still thinks that would be accepting that hes 'not nice'. even though he seems to have pretty much accepted it already seen as though he was telling me to avoid him.

[Kitkat :)]

Oh I see, it's quite complicated then.

Well all you can do is support him, whatever he decides to do.

[Tenji]

yeaah =/
well thats the plan. I hope i can convince him to get help though.
ta for the imput :]

[Kitkat :)]

That's okay, I hope I helped you in some way (:

[Kitkat :)]

Also don't forget that as he's told you all this he'll be feeling very vulnerable at the moment.

[FragileWings]

Schizophrenia alone wouldn't make him dangerous. I think you should gently try and ask him to get help.

[Tenji]

he won't listen to me. he either says hes got it under control, he doesnt want to accept what he did or that hes just bad and doesnt deserve help.

its horrible hearing him talk like this. I can tell hes not a bad person but he won't listen. All you have to do is look into his eyes when he's talking about this and all you see is regret and pain. its horrible. the poor boy is only 20.

[Rhuben]

Schizophrenia can take you to some very dark places, I can tell you that first hand. I've at times had voices screaming at me to burn places to ground whilst people were inside them, and in those situations it's absolutely terrifying and unpredictable. Life exists on a knife edge. I think he's simply looking out for you when he's being brutally honest about himself.

I think if you wish to maintain contact with him that is completely your choice. It's unfortunate that he isn't getting any help for his condition, perhaps by befriending him you might be able to give him the courage to take that step? I was terrified getting help at first, in the end my uncle and mum sorted out getting me a referral to the EIP services because I just wasn't well enough to accept that I needed help.

Wish you all the best anyway :)

[Tenji]

thanks :] i do hope that i can help him in some way. Even if its just by being here, i don't want to just abandon him cause its not his fault. He doesn't deserve that.
I'm not gonna pester him to get help because its obviously taken him a lot to even tell me all of this. but i dunno what i would say if i did bring it up again.

Thanks for all the posts, guys. I'm glad ive actually gone with my heart and decided to stick by him