Inadequacy.

[SheHasHope]

So I'm Drum Major for our school's marching band, which is a really huge deal here. And for the past couple of months I've been non stop busy which is really good for me because it keeps my mind off of self harm.

But these past couple of weeks I've just felt as though my band friends (who are my best friends) don't want anything to do with me because I'm in this position and people are doubting me as a leader. Not to mention I've made a huge decision that I want to pursue music and be a musician as well as a band director and march for DCI (Drum Corps International) but my parents don't believe that a good profession at all.

I just feel inadequate in every possible way, depressed, and anxious all the time. My parents and I are getting into fights all the time and every feeling that I feel I feel it down to my inner being, which is not what I want.

I don't even know if I'm explaining this right.
I just wanted to rant though.
I'm so uncertain about life.

[Rhuben]

So your parents are arguing with you because the career you ideally want in life is one of music? I suspect they only do it out of concern for you, music is a very tough business. That said, if everyone took the tone of it's too difficult then the world be devoid of music. I think you should follow what you want to do, parents will come to accept it in time when they realise that you are dedicated to it.

With friends it's probable that it's simply jealousy that you are in the position that they want to have. That said if they are your friends then they should overcome their jealous feelings and accept that you were the right person for the position at the time.

I'm not sure if my reply helps. But I think you should continue with music if that is your dream, and prove the doubters wrong.