I need some perspective from you guys...

[Ladybug_624]

Ok, so I have never abused or even used drugs in my life but recently found out that my dad was high on marijuana for basically all of my life and no one ever knew, including my mom. My parents are going thru a seperation now, though there aren't any papers yet, but i'm just really confused on how to feel about it all. so much sh** has come up.

So i guess what i'm asking for is some perspective on his side of things. I mean, yes, I have been/am "addicted" to self harm so I kind of get it but I want to know what he might feel like. Can you guys share what you feel about substance abuse? And please don't try to go the route of "its JUST marijuana". To me, it means more than that. It has destroyed our family.
Thanks for any replies and insight you can give me.

[JaffaCake.]

He could be self medicating, meaning there is an underlying problem that marijuana helps. It is not addictive, so there must be a reason he is continuously using it. Has anyone asked him?

i would say this really.
maybe he likes the high or possibly even the come down, i know my auntie was like that when she smoked it regularly.

i do beg to differ on the fact that marijuana isn't addictive because you can become addicted to anything and everything. like, my mum is addicted to cans of diet coke so he could quite possibly have an addiction going on.

i'm sorry you're going through this, it must be terrible because i've witnessed 1st hand that drugs in any sort, can really disrupt families. i hope you find peace soon and get the answers you're looking for.

take care x

[crippser]

Heya :)...

Well my family has been/is going through the same strugles as what you are going through so i totally can understand... But many people can become psychologically dependent on it , meaning that there are not any cravings for it like you would have for nicotine, but they feel that they need the drug to help them overcome problems and when things get stressfull , or that they just cant have a good time without it.

Also i totally agree that even though it is marijuana , it does distroy lives as does any drug...

Take care
drop me an inbox if you ever want to talk :)
Joe x

[Ladybug_624]

Thanks you guys for replying! I definately agree that he needs to address the underlying problems. I should have said this, but he says that he quit 4 years ago and that he just can't handle a life in our house without the drugs. I feel like he's acting like a child, but obviously there's got to be more to it. I know that sounds harsh and not understanding but i'm trying to get it. At some point i understand, but i also am the type of person where i never want to hurt or worry or bother anyone so its hard for me to see why he would just abandon us. What are your experiences with quitting but not addressing why you did it in the first place? Any thing?

[renceface]

I'm going through a tough time at the moment with my emotions due to recently quitting weed.. It's an awfull drug that numbs you're emotions.

In my experience it masks your thoughts, feelings and emotions, maybe he has some emotional issues, I don't know the guy but if that was the case he could be using the drug to numb those issues, right now I feel as if the world of emotion has been dropped on my shoulders because I have quit and the realisation is like a kick in the balls.

Everyone has a different reason for smoking it, but the majority of people either start because they feel it's cool, or they are trying to deal with an emotional conflict by having a good smoke and blocking it out...

[Sigma]

Also, if he seems immature (acting like a child) it may be because when you start using a substance as a coping mechanism you stop developing other coping mechanisms that are a lot of what we call 'maturity'. So he's fallen behind in maturity for years because of using weed. Unfortunately you can't just catch up by 'knowing' you should be able to respond in a certain way, you have to learn to go through the difficult stuff without the weed and will probably do that pretty badly at first while you learn.

If that makes sense?

But you have every right to feel confused and angry with him. He had a responsibility to you and the rest of the family. However, he is still your father and sounds as if he is trying to sort himself out. For your own sake it's probably best to try to hear his point of view and maintain a relationship with him. Express how you feel but also try & work out what a future relationship with your father could look like.

[HarryMonk]

Im no expert but he might just be chilling dont worry Bugsy loveley dont read too much into a guy that smokes a little weed probly needs a night off x