I really need some help - it's been way too long

[mlacky78]

Where to start. Last year I had a really bad panic attack while smoking marijuana. I thought I went insane after because I couldn't control my thoughts and reality just seemed extremely alien. Even the next day I was still freaking out. I didn't want to tell anyone because I thought I'd be sent away.

Here's where I really F*ck myself. For some reason I was drawn to New Age spirituality. I started reading this one book every day, which taught you to separate from your mind and to stop your thoughts. I ended up building this wall in my mind which suppress all my thoughts. I thought I had become enlightened, but I just made myself insane. It's almost impossible for me to think or to concentrate. I'm always zoned out and it feels like I physically changed the connections in my brain.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist, but I really hit rock bottom with this. Will I ever come back from this? How can I break down this wall I built in my mind. It makes me really drowsy and kind of retarded all the time. I have been in the same mindset/lack of emotions for a whole year. I'm willing to anything to come back to earth. PLEASE help!!! I just want my mind back :(

[Stellata]

Yes, it is possible to move on from this. But it's hard, I know. I was also attracted to various meditation practices, which I overdid. This too intensified a wall I already had in my mind. My therapist has since told me that they're good things to do, the meditation, the yoga, but some of the practices really aren't good for fragile ego states/psychosis.